It is time, I think, to move beyond thinking about an áfklorza kor binder and to start putting it together. Necessary information on bills and passwords. Wills. Eulogies. Funeral plans. Letters to loved ones. Etc. All things my family would need if I were to die unexpectedly. Anything to try and make the transition easier on them.

Everywhere I've looked for at least a week now I've seen this message: If it is meant to happen it will. It's not an uncommon message to see in this culture. But it is the frequency that marks it out as important. It's been in all the media I've consumed and all the social media I've scrolled through. Again and again and again. I'm uncertain as to what it is in response to, but it has that feel to it. That weight. That heaviness. It says, "See me and believe". So I now make record here. I have seen and I believe.

I dreampt in that in between. Not quite awake. Not quite asleep. A group of clergy were together for some important thing. I remember a man dressed in green fatigues with a black American flag on his shirt sleeve. I was fearful about what was to come. The danger of it. The importance of it. But I was amazed at being accepted as a priest of my faith. Legitimate. Equal. My validity as clergy and the validity of my faith as real were never in question. No one gave it any thought, except me. There is a lesson there.

A practice means nothing if it's not actually and actively practiced. I spend so much time talking about it, thinking about it, theorizing about it that it mainly goes unpracticed.

I am so grateful for the strength you have instilled in me. That strength allowed me to overcome this weakness.

We are all looking at the same thing, but are interpreting it differently. Everything is filtered through our own cultural and personal views.

The meaning something said to me years and years ago- five, I believe- about a certain biblical king while I was begging to know the name and symbol of God is only now is coming to light.... because of the show Da Vinci's Demons. The symbol was there all along. The answer, the knowledge, and the foretelling were right there. I just didn't understand it at the time. In time, all answers are revealed.

It's important. I don't know /why/ it's important-- whether my own neurosis or a request from Her. But I must get the majority of my belongings down to a single trunk. That thought is as satisfying as it is terrifying.

We glorify struggle and hardship. Why?