leave the math to pidge

Remember that Shlav comic I started? Well, I finished it, didn’t have time to post it but now! Here it is! Like 40 pages or something? crazy… Unfirtunately I didn’t pay mind to readability or layout or consitensy, so good luck deciphering this story… >_>’ rest is under read more! (cause it’s LONG)

on wednesdays they wear pink

‘oh no this door is locked. however will we get past?’ keith, a part-time criminal: ‘not to worry’

they form a cheerleader pyramid with keith at the top cos he’s the smallest

kolivan: ‘why did you leave your team? they are your family are they not?’ keith thinking about the spider he found on his ceiling: ‘i just had to get out of there’

their ears wiggle when they sneeze

‘kolivan, when did you join the blade of marmalade?’

they have a duel where the winner gets to braid keith’s hair, because it’s the softest thing they’ve ever touched

marinade member: ‘what did you used to do on your old planet, black paladin?’ keith: ‘i uhhh…i used to collect furbies’

majorca member: ‘what are they?’ keith: ‘vicious creatures. feared by many and with a terrible reputation’

marmite member: ‘wow…so you were a great warrior?’ keith looking into the camera like he’s on the office: ’…yes’

keith gets his own blade of mango flannel pyjamas and fuzzy purple slippers

‘kolivan, did you know my mother?’ ‘yes. when she yawned she would also say the word yawn out loud’

keith gasping: ‘exactly like me’

keith teaches them a team chant which goes 'i say mar- and you say -mora! mar-!’ every blade member yelling at once 'marmora!!’

there are framed photos of thace, ulaz, antok, and regris in the dining room with the caption 'rip in pieces’

keith doesn’t tie his bangs back because the Aesthetic™. at mealtimes the blade watches in amazement as his hair flies into his mouth and he struggles to spit it out for 40 minutes

'i’m keith and this is my boyband, the blade of margarine’

he sits on their shoulders to reach shelves, because everything is taller than him

'keith, do you have feelings for anyone on your team?’ 'uh, kinda. you know lance?’ every blade member at once: 'ooooooooh’

kolivan: 'brothers and sisters, cease! we must not tease keith for his strong romantic attachment to the red paladin’ keith, cheeks pink: 'thanks’

kolivan in a whisper: 'you must tell me every single small detail’

they allow keith to fold their ears inside out

they formally introduce him as Keith Kogane, Black Paladin of Voltron, Warrior of Texas, Herder of Chickens

'we are the blade of mustard and this is our small human son’

Because it seemed like literally everyone else ignored what Pidge told them and were like “nope that’s a girl if I’ve ever seen one, I don’t care if she says she’s a guy - in my mind? definitely a girl” (Though Shiro knowing Pidge was Katie gives him a free pass imo).  And Lance taking Pidge’s gender at face value after she’d told him she was a guy for the entire time they’d known each other (probably years) was framed as him “being more ignorant than accepting”.  

basically

stories depicting abuse, assault, discrimination, etc. = fine

So, I didn’t like the Lance vlog. Sure, he overcompensates, and sure, he likes to put on a show for the camera, and sure, he wouldn’t talk about his insecurities in front of an audience. But there’s this thing called Dramatic Irony, which the writers could’ve used, in order to show us a disconnect between what Lance says about himself, and what we actually see in canon. It would’ve been a nice juxtaposition to highlight Lance’s insecurities, without him ever having to talk about them.

So, I took matters into my own hands. Because guess what? Contrary to what Dreamworks would have us believe, Lance is more than just his flirtatious personality. (click pictures to enlarge). 

Written transcript under the cut:

team voltron, gays: ??????

lotor: oh, right. apologies.

lotor, clearing his throat: asfgshs fight me?? umm lol @ voltron meet me behind the space mall,,,,,, i jus wanna talk … or could i myb get the uhhhhhh lions ? ghagsfav yeet

no work actually ever gets done

shiro: “good morning lance how did you sleep?”

lance crying: “i was up until 4am playing mario kart” shiro: “yes i can tell :)” 

lance on his first week: “hey keith!” keith: “eat dirt and perish”

lance on his eleventh week: “hey keith!” keith: “heyyy is that a new shirt? wow you look good in it. can i get you anything?” 

shiro: “keith get me my coffee” keith: “get it yourself”

allura: “hunk, you seem very reliable. can you tell me a little bit about everyone in the office?” hunk: “considering i’ve been through everyone’s phones i can tell you more than a little bit. did you know shiro has been on the run from the government for 6 years?”

allura: >:0 

pidge: “shiro, you know i love you like the brother i never had” shiro: “awww- wait a minute, you have a brother” 

pidge: “ok feelings over now shut up and lift me into the vent” 

lance: “hunk look at my new crocs! do you like them?” hunk: “wow is that vintage? so cute!”

hunk to shiro 12.5 seconds later: “we need to have an intervention for lance” 

allura: “how old are you?” pidge: “7″

allura: “7 what? 17? 27? 7 small horses?” pidge: “yes” 

keith watching lance photocopy papers: “god he’s so cute” hunk scribbling something in a notebook labelled ‘blackmail’: “huh. interesting”

coran: “hello everyone! i’m allura’s assistant and business partner!” lance: “that’s a funny accent. are you from france?” 

coran: “no i’m from new zealand!!” lance: “oh ok. south france” 

coran: “no-” lance: “sheep france” 

hunk: “i bought 12 donuts for the office kitchen this morning and by lunchtime they were all gone. do you know anything about that?” 

keith with crumbs on his shirt and cinnamon stains on his mouth: “…no” 

allura: “coran i really don’t trust any of these idiots. for example, look at that” -pidge fingerpainting by smearing mayonnaise onto a glass window- 

allura: “i mean- who even is that” coran: “that’s their IT manager she’s brilliant” 

allura: “for god’s sake”

allura takes two steps into the office and keith’s desk collapses on top of him 

shiro: “why” pidge: “ok so maybe i took out all the screws earlier-” 

Pidge: what-

Hunk: I illegally downloaded animal crossing do u want me to show u how and then we can be crimes buddies and I can invite u into my camp

Welcome to The Upside Down, a Stranger Things discord server! It’s open to all (as long as you follow the rules below)

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