Remember when dean was a Husk of a shell of a xerox of a xerox of a man at the bottom of a flask for all of season fifteen because he had learned his whole life had been prewritten and composed for the amusement of a perverse god and he was consumed by a need to escape and eventually after chasing away his BEST FRIEND and making his son into a BOMB and threatening his brother with a GUN he realized he had been entertaining god's will by enacting cycles of violence and nearly sacrificed all his relationships for a godless freedom which actually meant nothing without those relationships, and when he broke down and felt more than cornered animal anger , when he felt cornered animal guilt and despair that he had led his best friend into a small room with Death knocking on the door, in that moment his best friend sacrificed himself by DECLARING HIS TRUE LOVE AS A FORM OF SUICIDE to give dean a shot at life and freedom , and he threw dean to thhe ground where he stayed for hours alone in the dark , and dean said nothing and he became nothing again and the world was empty too and he shouted to god that he would trade his own life, his brother's life, their freedom, for his angel who was the only person who ever broke out for real, the singular embodiment of true freedom in the whole stupid sandbox world. And even after they Won and everything was normal except one thing, he drank himself into carrying on a pointless imitation of life until he had a chance to give up and nail his exhaustion on the wall of a barn because he couldn't enjoy a freedom that was devoid of love. And he was drinking in heaven too and cas was there but he never saw cas again does anybody remember any of that?
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