My Mind is a Beautiful Mess

When you let go, you will fall to where you’re supposed to land. If you seek peace, you have to let go of control.

Just remember good memories ≠ good person.

Recognize when you have outgrown your surroundings.

Only you know what your heart desires. No one else can live your life for you. You have to be brave enough to pursue new experiences that fulfill what you long for. Push past the fear to get to what awaits you on the other side.

What is troubling you? Make it a priority to fix it.

I miss the old you.

I’m petrified of getting hurt again. I keep putting myself out there, but the trauma from my past is still there. I feel inadequate and fear they’ll just realize I can’t give them what they want and they’ll leave me raw. I put it all out there and so I’m opening myself up to major pain and turmoil. There’s only so much a person can take.

It’s going to be okay. Look how far you’ve come.

Twice today I was triggered to fits of sobbing raw painful emotional crying. Headaches and chest pains from the agony. I was so taken off guard both times. I was triggered by stories that are my worst fears and biggest heartache. So much so that tonight I got physically sick. It was a normal day. I was happy and got a lot done today. Clearly my emotions got the better of me today. My body needs rest.

I didn’t realize how much this meant to me. I’ve been putting so much off wanting to experience these things with someone special. Why? I’m only keeping myself from happiness hoping that someday the right person will come into my life and only then I can go do these things. Why not start living my life now and when the time is right, we’ll meet and he will be able to join me on my adventures.

Paralyzed from fear I slow my breathing and stay still listening intently trying to figure out what is happening. Trying to predict what he’ll do next. I don’t trust men.

How many triggers can you handle in a day?

Oh honey you must understand some people are only good at leaving. They were never meant to stay.