southern comfort.

send a symbol for my muse to react to yours… (or add +reverse for my muse to touch yours)

VIOLENT 🔪 – stabbing them 👊 – punching them ✋ – slapping them in the face 👞 – kicking them 🎀 – pulling their hair

FLUFFY/FRIENDLY 🍭 – stroking their hair 🖐 – high fiving them 🤝 – holding their hand 👄– kissing them on their [place of choice] 👐 – hugging them 💅 – painting their [finger/toe] nails  🤧 – comforting them when crying 🤒 – caring for them when sick/injured 💃 – dancing with them 👗 – adjusting their clothes 👒 – brushing their hair

great, another episode in the “i’m stupid” saga.

*hits head on metal first aid kit and gives self a concussion*

*falls down a flight of stairs in front of a bunch of people*

i can totally do this, i do this all the time.

have you lost weight? like, within the last week?

in case nobody’s told you lately, you’re doing a fucking amazing job.

i walked out in the middle of the last halloween movie cause it was so bad.

i think i’m in love with you. or maybe you just look like my ex.

i’m gonna regret wearing this today.

*breaks three glasses in the span of thirty seconds*

today the lady at wendy’s absolutely clocked me as an idiot.

you’re really sweet. you’re so, so sweet and so, so dumb.

i’m gonna drop a mixtape and every other song there’s gonna be an ad like spotify.

today my grandma shared a photo of a guy’s bare ass on facebook.

NO CORRER, POR FAVOR

it’s super cold over here. it’s almost like it’s cold outside.

i accidentally left a cucumber in my car. i hope she’s okay.

i’m never coming back here. a child just burped in my face.

can i have a hug?

you’re my favorite.

thank you for not slacking off.