im really feeling it

everyone needs to stop having sex youre supposed to jerk off to your concepts face down in your dark bedroom

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

if you are on mobile good news! you can just move your phone around and it is like you are driving maisy car around the real world!

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

Imagine if Rod Serling’s presence was diegetic. Like you’re one of these poor saps in the twilight zone just walking along obliviously, then out of nowhere you hear someone start talking about how sad your life is, and a man in a suit holding a cigarette steps out of an alley and continues poetically dunking on you while staring into the middle distance.

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

you should also be able to do this to job listings