Homeboy Hamlet

MARY FUCKING SHELLEY.  ’oh, i’m a nineteen year old female in a world where females are basically valued only as mothers, grieving over the loss of my child, disowned by my father, in dire financial straights, stuck in a country that’s not my own, ignored and cheated on by my husband, and belittled by my husband’s friends?  how am i going to deal with this?  WHY DON’T I COMPLETELY CHANGE THE RULES OF LITERATURE, MOTHERFUCKERS?  AND WHILE I’M AT IT, I’LL SIMULTANEOUSLY INVENT AN ENTIRE NEW GENRE, AND WRITE THE FIRST NON-RELIGIOUS CREATION MYTH.’

god bless Mary Shelley

you either loved the catcher in the rye with a burning passion and it touched your soul and holden caulfield was you in high school or you despised that book and threatened to burn it and holden caulfield was a whiny little bitch there’s literally no in between

"average person obsessed with sewers" factoid actually just statistical error.  average person hates sewers.  Victor Hugo, who wrote 200 pages about them, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Frankenstein enters into a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective

i love that charles dickens got paid by the word. like i cant even be mad when he’s boring and long-winded bc i would do xactly the same??? i wouldnt use contractions or colours at all. want to say the word red? too bad. we r now only using “the colour of freshly-spilled blood on snow; the hue of the horizon when the sun sets over the deserts of sub-saharan Africa” BOOM guess who can afford 2 eat now: me and my boi dickens 

jay gatsby’s car was a real hit with the ladies