They say Hungarian has 18 cases. You don’t know what they are or how they work. Only that they exist and there are 18 of them. You are scared.

“Fluent in 3 months” Benny Lewis proudly proclaims. “Fluent in 3 months” he repeats, in an assertive tone. “Fluent in 3 months” he demands, “Or else.”

The website asks for your target language. You do not know what it has done to become a target, nor do you want to know.

Course progress: 100% Due date: yesterday You still cannot learn Ukrainian.

“How many languages are you fluent in?” asks the innocent onlooker. You forget what the question means. What is fluency? Have you ever known?

The Russian speakers say they speak the hardest language. So do the Finns. So do the Chinese. They are all wrong.

You look at the verb table. “I am. You are. He/She/it is.” What am I? Where are you? Who is he/she/it?

You cannot pronounce the Czech ř. You cannot begin to fathom it. You hear it when you close your eyes. It is the fabric of your nightmares.