You can find my page on Fb under SADillardEdits.

can’t

fucking 

I hope this shit show is in it’s end

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

10) Who is more likely to cheat?

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

15) Who likes writes the others name on their wrist?

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

17) Who is more protective?

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

21) Who cuts the others hair?

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

26) Who kissed first?

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

This isn’t so much wrong as a complete category error. There is no win condition in shipping. But even worse than being an error, it’s intensely mean-spirited. These people, as far as I can tell, actually want other fans to stop enjoying what they enjoy. It would make them happy if SQ fans walked away from OUAT muttering that they’d been wrong all along and CS actually was true love. Why, for the love of God?

I can only guess it’s because they find themselves incapable of enjoying what they enjoy while a single person disagrees with them about it. I assume that’s why a few determined souls among them persist in trawling through the anti-tags looking for posts to hijack or screenshot and one-sidedly argue with, as if by winning this argument with thin air they can convince themselves that the only people who disagree with them must be delusional or pathetically grasping at straws.

Shipping is one of the most deeply subjective things there is. There isn’t an argument that exists that will convince another shipper to see things the way you do. And those anti-CS metas and fics that anger them much? Aren’t *for* them. They’re for the enjoyment of SQ fans (or Swanfire fans, or anyone who doesn’t like CS).

I wrote a post a while back about the impending CS divorce. I didn’t do it to upset CS fans - that’s why I so carefully anti-tagged it. I didn’t intend for any CS fans to read it at all. I don’t want them to stop enjoying their ship - I hope it gives them great pleasure. God knows it would be nice if some good came out of the hot mess that OUAT’s become.

I wrote about the CS divorce for the entertainment of SQ fans. Because imagining CS splitting up is part of shipping SQ - that’s the start of SQ getting together, at least in any canon-compliant fic or meta. I have fun imagining how it might happen - the angst, the pining, the missed connections! That’s what shipping’s all about.

And - here’s a secret - I’d write metas like that EVEN IF I ACTUALLY LIKED CS. Even if I found them a convincing and interesting couple, I’d want to imagine them splitting up and Emma and Regina getting together, because I’m a lady who likes ladies and I want to spend my leisure time thinking about ladies loving other ladies.

In fact, my ideal situation is one where I *do* like the on-screen het ship, so I can enjoy both it and my subtextual lesbian ship. Well, no. Obviously my ideal would be for an amazing on-screen slow-burn between two central female characters, but I’m a gay woman who’s been around in the world a while, so I’m a realist.

There was a time in season 4 of OUAT when I thought CS might become that kind of het ship for me - dull but unobjectionable. Unfortunately, CS in the last two seasons has been such an unmitigated clusterfuck that I genuinely can’t imagine any future in which they don’t get divorced - or at least not one in which Emma’s happy and fulfilled. To me, all those declarations of undying love are clearly fake, the desperate attempt of an unhappy woman to make herself into the person others want her to be.

And that’s fine! That’s the future I see and enjoy, where CS split up and SQ get together and Emma Swan finally comes to terms with the fact she’s a lesbian. Meanwhile CS fans can enjoy one in which Emma and Killian stay together and live happily ever after.

There are a zillion reasons why I ship SwanQueen but if I had to narrow them down to just five, here they are:

1) The characters that make up Swan Queen

Other than the ship itself, I love both Regina and Emma as individuals. Regina is the sassy queen while Emma is the badass savior. They have a lot in common. Both are survivors, make powerful magic and want the same things in life i.e. love and family. Both know the pain of losing their first loves and know what it’s like to be rejected and misunderstood. Both put up walls but show vulnerability to those closest to them. Both have their faults and make so many mistakes but learn from them and keep moving forward. That’s exactly what make their story so compelling.

2) True love is sacrifice

In the early seasons, Emma saved Regina from the fire and also pushed Regina away from the wraith at the expense of her own safety. 

x

Later, Regina absorbed a death curse to save Emma…

and offered to die to save Emma and her family in season 2 finale.

x

In season 3, when Regina has to give up what she loves most, she bestowed Emma with the “gift of good memories”.

x

In season 4, Regina risked her life by drawing the Chernabog towards herself and away from Emma. Later she went undercover with the Queens of Darkness to protect Emma’s lightness. In the finale, Emma sacrificed herself to save Regina from having to go dark again.

In season 6, Regina risked everything to find Emma in another realm. 

x

If giving up everything for someone is true love then SwanQueen have already proven it with their actions.

3) From hate to love

Emma and Regina have had a classic arc of enemies to reluctant allies to BFFs/family that developed naturally over the course of 6 seasons. They started out basically wanting to kill each other but now they would die for each other. They went from “I don’t care what happens to you” to “I want you to stay safe”, from “Miss Swan” to “Emma”, from “my son” to “our son”, from “I will destroy you” to “maybe I need you”. No other ship on the show beats that kind of development.

4) They empower each other

Time and time again, Emma and Regina have demonstrated that they are stronger together than apart.

Regina’s development is largely thanks to Emma (and of course Henry). Since season 2, Emma has believed in Regina when everyone else was against her and especially when Regina doubted herself.

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Emma was the one who taught Regina about hope by never giving up on her.

x

On the other hand, Regina sees Emma as an innately good person. 

But when Emma acts less than perfect, Regina fights for her light.

Regina remained steadfast in her belief that goodness resided in Emma even when she was the Dark One.

In short, Emma and Regina uplift, support and motivate each other to be their best selves.

5) They are a family with Henry

Both Emma and Regina are mothers, who love their shared son more than anything. They do make a lovely family, don’t they?

Emma loves to co-parent with Regina so much that she was willing to raise another child with her without being asked. ;)

1) In Emma’s wish world, Emma gets an “anti meet cute” with fat, old, drunk Hook which debunks the theory that CS are meant to be together in every timeline and every universe. When August asked Emma who Old Hook was she sheepishly answered that she “sort of” lived with him… then proceeded to fling him away and made fun of his weight before making him disappear as if he were just a roadblock in her way.

2) Emma was so disappointed that Wish!Hook was a fat drunk (”I really need to get home and get someone off the rum“) so she asked the real Hook to give up drinking (”We’re gonna switch to water“)… and guess what? Hook has shown no signs of quitting in later episodes (“Captain Morgan, I thought we were sticking to water?” / “Any of you lads old enough to drink rum?“ / “I’ll bring the rum”). Hook clearly has a drinking problem but if Emma is his true love, shouldn’t he listen or make an effort to give up a bad habit for her? But then again this is the same guy that killed an innocent man even though she begged him not to…

3) Hook KILLED Emma’s grandfather for senseless sport in an episode named “Murder Most Foul” so no I didn’t imagine that. To make matters worse, Hook proposes to Emma instead of confessing the truth like Archie suggested he should… and the proposal happened in an episode titled “Ill-Boding Patterns” which means foreboding evil; inauspicious; unlucky (oops?). No amount of CS kisses will erase that image of Hook’s bloody sword piercing Emma’s grandfather from my brain especially it was only 10 episodes ago. 

4) Hook was gonna burn his memories instead of telling Emma his secret so he was willing to start a marriage with more deception instead of following Nemo’s advice. This is how you fail a redemption arc because no matter how you spin it, Hook DID NOT TELL THE TRUTH until he got caught! Emma said “no more secrets” TWICE and still Hook does this BS.

5) Hook was gonna abandon Emma without telling her until he crossed paths with Snow who told him a happy ending was possible for him. So basically he lied again when he said “I would never leave you”. 

6) Emma admitted she needed to move on from Hook after only one day lol. She didn’t even think there was a possibility Hook was in danger and to go look for him before throwing his things out? So much for true love.

7) Emma’s character assassination: are we sure she still isn’t the Dark One? Emma beating up and choking an abuse victim for “love” - Was that supposed to be badass? I know Emma didn’t know Gideon was abused but the audience knew and Emma the hero/protagonist was supposed to know better. “I’m sorry, but your son cannot be saved. He’s evil” - After everything Emma has seen with Regina, Zelena, Hook, etc how could she even say that? How come Emma couldn’t tell with her “superpower” that Gideon wasn’t even in control of his actions? Emma agreeing to sacrifice her parents in order to be with a lying boyfriend is utterly selfish and not what the real Emma would do. If the writers think Emma’s “devotion” to Hook is romantic then they are doing it wrong! If Emma being “in love” means forgetting who you are at your core then as an SQer I don’t ever want this version of Emma for Regina.

8) CS were “confirmed” true love by pixie dust of all things… seriously? The writers could’ve just invented a new flower but no it had to be freakin pixie flower which WE KNOW was faulty and WRONG in case of OQ. Furthermore, writers added an extra detail that these flowers only grow in the presence of “great evil” ROFL! So I guess CS are bad TL like Zades and non-endgame TL like OQ huh?

9) Their second proposal happens over Emma’s parents’ comatose bodies…. which reminds me of their makeout session at a graveyard, where a child just buried their father 5 seconds ago. Their reunions are always so epic (plz sense my sarcasm)!

10) Not only was the CS wedding rushed and half-assed but it took place in a musical? Sounds like a joke but ok… Emma’s wedding dress was SO NOT her style (don’t even get me started on the head/veil thingy) and it was a cheap copy of Grace Kelly’s. This is NOT a good parallel for CS cuz Grace Kelly gave up her career/individuality for a kingdom and a man she didn’t even truly love. Later, she wanted to divorce him but couldn’t cuz she was told she would lose custody of her children. Therefore, this is NOT a “modern fairytale” that anyone should want to emulate for themselves.

11) The musical episode confirmed that Emma’s heart was filled with true love by her parents so the Underworld True Love test (“Only a heart filled with true love can pass.”) last season wasn’t actually about CS at all lol.

12) Hook meeting pregnant Snow in flashback when he’s about to marry Snow’s child in present time is creepy ewww (Jacob/Renesmee from Twilight anyone?). Btw, why did Snow not remember Hook when she first met him in season 2? More retcons?

13) Hook said it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding but he did anyway… means their marriage is doomed? On HIMYM, Robin got divorced and Tracy (the “mother”) died when the Barney and Ted saw their respective brides before the wedding so that superstition has to mean something if storytelling rules apply lol. 

14) Hook is supposedly a “changed man” because of Emma and yet he’s still going on about “finally skinning the crocodile" when he poisoned Rumple with Dreamshade he’s kept from Neverland. We knew Hook was a liar but now even his wedding vows about letting go of revenge are a lie lol.

15) Emma still couldn’t unfreeze Hook with her kiss before giving her heart to the Black Fairy but we are supposed to accept that they are true love rofl.

16) Emma still looks lifeless and sick. I’m sorry but the “no makeup” look shows me that Emma is not truly happy with Hook. I don’t buy that this is WallsDown!Emma cuz she has already let her walls down for Henry, Graham, Neal, Walsh, Snow, Regina, etc in seasons 1-4 without losing the makeup. In real life, even battered women seem “happy” and are in love with their abusive partners… so don’t tell me to respect Emma’s choice of wanting to marry the dude who invited all the Dark One’s to terrorize Emma and her family, allowed one of them to choke Emma, called her degrading names like “orphan" and “blonde distraction” just cuz he was pissed… and continues to be a douche who lies like he breathes. In s6 finale, even MentalPatient!Emma has the same tired, ghostly pale face so is Emma still under Dark Hook’s curse from last season?

17) NO CS TLK in the finale either! Let it be known that every single one of their kisses has failed to break a curse lol.

can’t

fucking 

can’t

fucking