Memory's Folly

...creates space.  This space often feels like separation.  This separation is imagined.  This space is healing the dissonance we experience from living in the main stream

The main stream is an illusion.  A false stream chugging above the real stream going in the opposite direction.  It is a machine.  The machine is not gentle, it cannot feel. 

The dissonance is created by holding two separate truths in one psyche.  The one truth, that we are good people doing good work here on earth.  The other truth being that we have to be adults, work a job, pay our taxes etc...  These tasks create a sense of scarcity which triggers our root chakra of protection.

Once the scarcity button gets pressed our capacity for compassion and patience becomes diminished until we lose that which essentially gives us empathy for others.  Empathy is what creates the connection we feel between ourselves and other people.  Empathy is what creates relationships.  Having a relationship means creating space within your ego for someone else's perspective.  When we have a relationship with someone it becomes a resource for our spiritual yearning to be connected.  This is where the feeling of scarcity can become possessive and lead to energetic vampirism and emotional slavery.  We attach expectation to those resources to continue to supply us with energy and validation. 

The energy we receive from social validation is likened to love.  The energy of love vibrates on the highest of frequencies.  That vibration is indescribable and the definition we have of love is incorrect.  Love becomes the possessive expectation and attachment to another (generally singular other).  What is possible for changing our definition of love to one that lets love truly vibrate?  The love we know does not have space for that.  It is weighted down by that expectation and need for consistency. 

From moment to moment, how do we let love flow?  How do we make room for more perspectives within ourselves?  Where does the space come from?  This is the balance that I seek. 

I hope that by removing myself from the main stream of society I am creating more space for love and compassion.  For more empathy and patience.  I am creating space for abundance and for love.  With love we can break the machine; drop back into the stream of life, of love. 

I do not feel separate from that which matters to me.  I have chosen to separate myself from certain systems and people that consciously try to enforce those systems.  Agent Smiths if you will.  However maintaining a connection to love in all its forms does not allow me to separate myself from the children of the world;  the seekers, the lonely, the abused and the weak.  I will try to offer support to those who ask for it in whatever way I can.  I will lead by example and inspire (not influence) those around me to let the love vibrate. 

I reject the dissonance of society.  I reject the scarcity.  I reject the machine. 

Like seasons of the year the death of winter gives birth to the life of spring, so does the ego death lead to the rebirth of the soul. As my life is changing there is a split.  I know I belong here but my heart flies away as often as it can.   My bird who also flew does not return.  Who's will makes it so is unknown.  Where one can add the other subtracts till we are back at one. 

Aries Expectation: Fierce ram, will fuck u up, is hella brave

Aries Reality: Is a sheep with oversized horns and was bullied and is trying to overcompensate

Taurus Expectation: Loyal bull

Taurus Reality: Cow that is too lazy to betray you

Gemini Expectation: Super smart, super intelligent, can and will slay you.

Gemini Reality: Has abandonment issues and an identity crisis every month

Cancer Expectation: Mother bear and reliable and strong

Cancer Reality: Emotional wreck

Leo Expectation: Loyal sexy and confident

Leo Reality: Emo lion

Virgo Expectation: Shy smart and organized

Virgo Reality: Always having internal meltdowns

Libra Expectation: Fashionable and friendly and fair

Libra Reality: Really sad that they cannot fix everyone

Scorpio Expectation: Dark mysterious and probably a killer

Scorpio Reality: Really emo that hates everyone and has uncontrollable emotions

Sagittarius Expectation: So wise and majestic

Sagittarius Reality: Makes up everything to compensate for the lack of meaning in their life

Capricorn Expectation: Cool, calm, collected, ambitious

Capricorn Reality: Power starved baby that just wants love

Aquarius Expectation: God

Aquarius Reality: Still God

Pisces Expectation: So cute such anime!!

It feels like letting go To the Barricades.

This year I start my new photography project.  It has been quite the season since my last intentionally created body of photographic work.

This project has come to me directly from my work in access consciousness.  That includes asking questions like "What else is possible?" or "What will it take to do...(insert what it is you want to do)?"  or even something as simple as "how am I living my truth?"

This one came from some of those but mostly the one I have been asking over and over is "How can I use my creativity and intelligence to support myself?"

The barricades is an older project I made when I was in college.  It was created out of that space between one great love loss and the introduction of a new love, a new muse.  I feel like my best art comes from transmuting love into action.  This body of work explores our affinity to barricades, boundaries, and perceived limitations and how we overcome those things.  The human being unlimited, uninhibited, raw, organic. 

For me this project is about pushing out my bubble of attachment.  By increasing the space between me and my attachments I am creating spaces for other things; other possibilities.  What I wish to draw into these spaces are magic and love.  The beauty of access consciousness work is that you do not get answers to these questions.  The possibilities expand in fractal fashion. 

The question I hope to realize in this life is "How do I follow the path with heart?"  "How will I overcome the barricades and push through the limited perception of my reality?"  "How will I live my highest vision?"  "How do I lead a life that allows me to both know  and love the barricades life has presented to me?"