Living on Caffeine and a Prayer

Which works great, except the Damian Alfred ends up with is 15 years old not qualified to be a parent. He does, however, have a new appreciation for how freaked out his own father must have been when first presented with a strange kid calling themselves his son.

Damian does the DNA test, and Alfred really is his son. From another universe, of course, but still his son. It's a very weird thing to think about, because Damian is 15 and a virgin and should not have to think about children any time soon.

Alfred clings to him regardless. The kid is distraught about being sent away and what may be happening in his own universe, but his father told him he'll be safe with Damian, so he sticks close to him regardless of Bruce's and Dick's attempts to separate them for a bit for Damian's sake.

Weirdly, the only person that can coax Alfred away from Damian is Jon (who heard what was going on and of course needed to see Damian's son for himself). Alfred just runs up to him immediately and hugs him while crying, leaving all of them confused.

Bruce realizing that he has 4 gen z children.

dick, picking damian up from school: hey kiddo! how was your day?

damian, totally straightfaced: sufficient. my eraser pet trade has been fruitful and the pastries i bartered with at snack time produced a marginal profit. lucille ramy has threatened to 'tattle' on me to the administration, however, so i was forced to silence her with a bribe of my most prized fruit snacks.

dick, static buzzing in his brain: you don't...eat...fruit snacks...

damian: obviously not. the cerulean packaging is horrendous, but the plebeians feel strongly about the odd shapes. a small riot was broken up after recess today due to differing opinions on the animation they were based upon.

dick, mentally: he needs to stop hanging out with jason, oh god-

the absolute DELIGHT that fills me at the thought of damian looking at the culture of an elementary school, the social intricacies and such, and thinking "i can work with this". there is so much potential. jason being weirdly proud of the legwork the kid put in to find the right products and prices to make a profit. tim sneaking WE spreadsheets under his door like offerings to a forest cryptid that needs enrichment. cass sneaking random trinkets into his school bag to see what random item he comes back with in exchange because it entertains her. duke keeping his books for him because he's obviously going to encourage his little bros entrepreneurial spirit, bruce, get a grip.

I have been inspired

Hiroshi Nagai's paintings need sunglasses to look at.

They look like how it feels to walk across a parking lot on a 98° summer day without a speck of shade in sight.

They look like heaven but also like you'd burn your bare feet on the ground.

Even when you can see shade you know it's not enough and the minute you step out you'll be burnt to a crisp like a vampire.

This feels like I could trip on that radio and fall right into that water, feeling the crystal waves as I drop in.

And this, a nice stroll down a resort strip, where my sunscreened skin could literally feel cooked if I leaned too close to the tiling.

And then a nice stretch of summer street, wherein you could see your face in the flushed red of that car provided it didn't blind you from its sunny reflections.

The Heirs to Time by @telemna-hyelle

lol some more Sad Sailor😂

Ok but like, this is oddly WHOLESOME sadness though????? WITH SOME AWESTRUCK COMEDY??