Sans titre

One of my favourite things about The Secret History is how one of the most famous quotes is “beauty is terror” and the whole aesthetic of the fandom embodies that exact sentiment, most times unknowingly. The piles of teacups with old dregs around the living room, the whisky stains, the cigarette butts, the description Henry’s apartment when Richard goes to get his book or the twins’ apartment when they have their first dinner. It’s terrible, the whole thing is a mess, and we all found such beauty in it, it’s amazing.

I'm written by Donna Tartt. Not in the way that I'm ethereal and smart and well-read. But in the way that I will do anything to be perceived well by a bunch of pretentious people. In the way I never feel smart enough, worldly enough, or that I'll ever fit in, but I'll pretend that I do to a fault. In the way that despite it all, I still have a god complex regarding my intellect

another shitty thing about being the eldest daughter who based her worth on academics and how useful she can be to others is that it physically hurts to ask for help even when we desperately need it. it's an internalized belief that we should we able to figure out everything on our own and it sucks

i think im way too young to be the age that i am

the intimacy of sharing feelings and thoughts that were buried deep inside with someone who understands and listens to them patiently and acknowledges them and does not make you feel like you're too much is everything