pinkorsomethink @hollowandcoldanddark - Tumblr Blog

intro

18+

im 20. bad things are happening to me. i don't know.

im tentatively asexual but i want to post about sex and relationships and my trauma in some place. i don't know.

warnings for ramcoa and explicit content

•18+ Adults Only

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some discourse ive made up about my term (in my own head) is the idea that it should include people with forms of osdd-2 (identity alteration due to torture, brainwashing, coercion, etc). i mean. that is clearly dissociation based abuse.

maybe its like. dba with multiplicity and dba without multiplicity

alternatively i dont need to cater for made up discourse. idk.

#mine.post #language based post #dba #osdd 2 #ramcoa

the value of a term like dba is trying to specify direct and specific language which means:

a system which is partially/fully created with some level of distinct purpose with dissociation based methods

the associated specific experience of being in this group

ramcoa is too broad. we all know this. but its like. i cant reasonably say like "oh its not ramcoa" bc a lot of things can fcall into the category. but it feels isolating to be like. there is no term for the experience, really.

#mine.post #ramcoa #language based posed #dissociation based abuse #dba

hollowandcoldanddark

the thing is that it DOES get a lot worse or it has on my end and its extremely fucking lonely and brutal and i feel too old for this bullshit. and then i go on tumblr and holy fuck yeah i am too old for this.

hollowandcoldanddark

and i dont want to be mean because obviously some of the worse and stupid shit is from kids who. dont know. and also theres not a good way to find out.

uhhhh but i think im going to start gnashing and going nuts and fakeclaiming and trauma olympicsing.

#mine.post

the thing is that it DOES get a lot worse or it has on my end and its extremely fucking lonely and brutal and i feel too old for this bullshit. and then i go on tumblr and holy fuck yeah i am too old for this.

#mine.post

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

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being a total fucking hater the dichotomy of the tags where its mostly just quite graphic vent art about extensive sexual abuse and like. gimmick coining/ask blogs is very funny in how bad it is

#mine.post

the ramcoa tags are popping off lately (derogatory)

#mine.post #ramcoa #discourse

everything fucking sucks, season 2

#mine.post #cw vent

i only take 3 medications and god do they cause me all sorts of fucking problems

#mine.post

and nowww for the fun game of am i triggered actually horny or do i just need to piss!!!!!!

#mine.post

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

im a crazy person but i think that new to the scene radqueer user heartshapedscapel is just aka dreamie again. hm.

if youre a normal person then wtv i just...

#mine.post #discourse #drama #literally irrelevant either way

when i encountered the term ramcoa and looked it up i thought it was satanic panic v2. now i don’t. thank you for posting about this stuff

thank u for not seeing the term and coming into my inbox to lecture me. Hope you have an okay day

#mine.post #ask.post

Sorry I spammed your blog with one billion likes. I just gotta eat them all. I don’t often find people in talking about ramcoa experiences in a way that I understand well and true so yay ig. Thank you for existing.

dw about it

#ask.post

i just keep feeling grief. idk how the fuck im gonna be normla about this tomorrow. i guess. im angry!!!!! i dont want things to change im not allowed to be angry bc you didnt od anything wrong but why why whybwhy

#mine.post #cw vent #do not reblog

i just i just i just its not enough what i have is not enough i want more all the fucking time and im so sos os sad to have less instead i want more greedy greedy i hate that you couldnt make it work i hate it i hate it i want more its not fair its not enough you do everything asnd i am fucking worthless but c lealry youre still here so let me burden you more ITS NOT ENOIGH IM TOO GREEDY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASDE YOJU DONT UNDERSTAND I CANT I CANT I CANT I CANT DO THREE MONTHS I CANT DO AYHING I DONT WANT TO PLEASE PLEASE PLEADE PELASe

#mine.post #cw vent #do not reblog

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

why did i only post like sage wisdom bullshit here defeats the purpose of a vent blog this is where im at im clingy and lonely and everything fucking sucks and i cant be a role model

WHY WHY WHY id otn want thingsa to change its so hard its so hard its so hard its so hard its so hard I DONT WANT TO BE NICE OR COMFORTING OR ACCOMODATING I JUST WANT THINGS NOT TO CHANGE I JUST WANT YOU PLEASE ITS PLEASE PLEASE

#mine.post #cw vent #do not reblog

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY JUST MAKE IKT WORK I KNOW YOJU CANT I DONT WANT TO BE SELFISH NO NO I WANT TO BE SO SELFISH IM I NEED TO BE SO SELFISH I NEED HYOU I CANT BE ALONE I CANT CHANGE I CANT CHANGE ANYMORE I KNOW ITS NOT A CHOICE YOU DONT UNDERSTANMD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I CANT CHANGE ANYMORE

#mine.post #cw nsfw #do not reblog

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