my friend just texted me “it’s not acceptable that trump feels good about himself and you don’t” and i think it’s the most motivational thing i’ve ever read

When u put 2 and 2 together but get 11 because u found out more information than you wanted to 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

The 11:59 pm deadline ain't no joke in college.

That’s a weird looking fish

omg this dude is like yelling a phone conversation outside im pretty sure his gf is breaking up with him 

i have discovered her name is sarah and he “loves her so fucking much” and that “these words should not be leaving her mouth right now”

this has been going on for like an hour he just keeps going around in circles

i think its finally over because he just screamed and threw is phone

now hes cursing up at the gods and petting his own hair i feel like i should do something

hes like walking around screaming and sobbing and cursing idk what to do

i just yelled out the window “its okay dude dont worry you’ll find someone else” and he went totally silent i dont think he knows where my voice came from because he looks really freaked out now …what have i done 

HE JUST SCREAMED “HOW DO YOU KNOW?!” WHAT DO I DO I STILL DONT THINK HE KNOWS WHERE MY VOICE IS COMING FROM BC IM SCREAMING FROM MY UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

OH MY GOD I PANICKED AND REPLIED WITH “because you are a very good looking young man and any woman would be lucky to have you” I SOUND LIKE A FUCKING GRANDMA

he seems satisfied with this reply

i think i actually calmed him down he seems almost okay now

he just picked up his phone i think hes going home now. i hope his phone is okay

goodbye random heartbroken dude i wish you luck on your journey home.. wherever your home may be

feed him

he is deciding

guides to life