𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝗺𝗲 ᵁᴾ ...

❛ she just needs help moving some stuff out of the garage for her mom. i said i'd go after my shift. her dad's kind of... well, not kind of. he is a lazy shit. ❜ from everything nancy had ever told him about her father back when they'd been closer, steve gathers he's barely a step below his own dad. who knows, maybe all dads suck and everyone who has one is doomed from the start.

he doesn't notice the way dae-hyun is looking at him with those cautious eyes, dissecting every comment he makes. the only thing steve can think about now is their shift ending so he can cross helping nancy off his list and then go home after to take the world's hottest shower. he looks tired, if not a bit distracted. nothing dae-hyun should take into consideration anyway, if he's looking for any sign that steve was elated over the unexpected visit of his ex-girlfriend at his workplace.

dae-hyun chews idly on a sour strap as he watches steve. beyond his racing thoughts, he can see that he looks tired. he had chalked it up to their late night, but it was as if something had zapped all remaining energy out of him. he leans against the counter, taking pity by reaching over to place a sour strap on steve's knee. maybe a sugar rush would help, temporarily.

“ ... i'll invite you to my place another night then, ” he trails off, his eyes flickering to the backroom, where they had ceased their make out session moments ago, and then to the television where the room had been carrying on in the background. “ are you... ” okay goes unsaid, as steve laughs suddenly, seemingly at the movie. it draws dae-hyun's swift attention, the man's smile apparently combating against his undeniable exhaustion.

❝ we came here for my birthday once. remember? the year you had that red buzzcut. ❞ julian recalls it vividly, the sounds of his friends and colleagues singing happy birthday to him through the haze of smoke and shitty bar lighting. he'd been mostly sober that year, writing a new album and accepting a few modeling jobs at the behest of his mother. dae-hyun had flown in for the occasion, the two of them having been in a short period of having to do long distance. julian doesn't think he's ever been as happy to see dae-hyun as he had been that day, having looked up and smiled at him before blowing out the candles on his extravagant cake.

it felt strange going down memory lane; more bittersweet, than anything else. the long distance, as hard as it had been at the time, had been good for them. it had made those few moments in between where they could see each other richer. it was easier to fill those short-lived spaces with good memories, than let it lapse into the opposite. he had to wonder why julian had chosen this bar knowing the sentimentality it held.

at the mention of akari, dae-hyun finds his cool exterior shifting. a fond smile cuts through the sharp lines of his stoicism. no matter what transpired between himself and julian, akari had always reserved a seat at her table for him. and in turn, he had always held a soft spot for her. their separation had seen multiple cords splintered, it would seem, not just the two. “ is she? that's presumptuous of her. what if i'm already fully booked? ” regardless, he would make room for her, no doubt julian knew that. as much is evident, when he acquiesces with a quiet, “ ... sure, whatever she wants. ”

❛ not exactly, ❜ shane admits as he looks down at the sketches. but he's definitely seen them behind his closed eyelids at night, sprinting through tunnels which he now knows run underneath the town. he'd tried to blame the nightmares on pre-game stress at first, up until he'd begun to have them in the middle of the day. one accidental eavesdrop later, and he'd landed himself smack dab in the middle of whatever conspiracy-come-to-life this is.

this was different. whatever shane was experiencing, was clearly beyond his comprehension. however, ever since he had moved here, his dreams had been... off. he had never known how to interpret them, but now things were starting to slowly piece together.

instead of doing the reasonable thing : to make the rounds & network, before driving home as soon as reasonably polite - he finds himself at the bar. several faces approach, but his lackluster demeanour is enough to brush off the few tries. another brave soul makes attempt, & zayne identifies him well enough. after some deliberation, he offers him the seat. he's heard all about min dae-hyun's fall from grace. it's terrifying, how quick the media trips over itself to perverse an argument; to villify someone who isn't willing to fit the big industry mold. he doesn't wish to be in dae-hyun's shoes for a second. at the same time, he's compelled to start up a conversation with him in spite of it all.

" so should you. aren't you happy? clawed your way back to the big boy table, didn't you? " he says, smarting a little from being called out. in truth, there's little to celebrate. he can keep running himself ragged until his body is nothing but one big, sore commodity , but even he has to admit : he's not doing well. his dreams are growing more violent - some dark fantasy or compulsion to kill, he isn't sure, but his mind is slipping. the bags under his eyes are getting harder to conceal. he's worried. one day, it really will be him on the news instead. just not in the celebrity section; front page center because he's just one big ball of compressed anger these days. god, he should have just stuck to his guns & pursued the things that really mattered.

zayne's response tells more than he could possibly understand, but on the surface he appears of similar stock. the events of tonight were nothing but a farce, a presentation of flashy garments and shiny awards to conceal the ugliness that lay underneath. and as far as everyone else was concerned, dae-hyun was publicly exulting in his own liberties while those around him suffered, seemingly without a care. of course there would be whispers.

he hadn't anticipated a warm welcome, but the apology and reassurance that follows zayne's bite catches him somewhat off guard. a surprised laugh hitches on his next exhale. “ ... you don't have to play nice. you can hate me and i can pity you, if it's easier, ” he sets his empty glass back down after finishing the last of it off, and flags over the bartender for a refill for the both of them. it was easier to talk when sobriety was off the table.

the bell chimes, and steve's eyes widen. he wonders if it's keith popping in from the arcade just next door, ready to berate him for setting up the sign wrong or simply to surprise them and look for new reasons to write him up. steve doesn't know why he even bothers trying anymore when all it takes is robin yapping keith's ear off in order to absolve steve of his wrongdoings for the day.

dae-hyun kisses him again, and steve's mind is such a mess that he simply nods in agreement at the suggestion to discuss things later as dae-hyun fixes his clothes. this confusion only intensifies when he hears a familiar voice call out his name from the front—a voice he hasn't heard all summer, because he's had no reason to. steve reaches to comb his fingers through dae-hyun's hair, pushing the door open as soon as it's all smoothed down again.

nancy stands at the counter, doe-eyed and alert. what confuses steve the most is that she has nothing in her hands: no returns, no new rentals, no purse. in fact, the only thing she carries is a perplexed expression as she looks between dae-hyun and steve's messy hair, which steve is wholly unaware of. his heart begins to race at the possibility that she's here to announce some new threat to hawkins which requires his assistance. he exhales in relief when she ends up asking for his help with moving some things out of the garage later for mrs. wheeler instead, steve quietly acquiescing because he knows damn well mr. wheeler isn't going to do it and jonathan is clear across the country.

of all the people waiting out front, of course it's nancy wheeler. her look of confusion is mirrored by dae-hyun, who's gaze follows hers to steve's messy hair and then back. whoops. he can almost see the cogs turning, trying to piece it all together. a quiet smirk settles on his lips and he decidedly wanders the shop as they talk, giving them a moment of privacy.

despite busying himself with tidying up the pile of dvd returns, he finds himself glancing over at the pair. he hadn't been made entirely privy to steve and nancy's backstory, but he knew enough; in bits and pieces, through stilted conversation or blurted fragments from robin. it was much more noticeable when he observed them, or specifically, the way nancy looks at steve. there was something there, some old forgotten feelings and residual attraction. maybe both. he can't say he blames her, but it's annoying all the same. as his eyes flicker to steve, he wonders if he feels the same. at the very least, a remaining fondness for a first love. he is quick to agree to help her out, and dae-hyun notices the way he seems to relax as she leaves.

he sighs as he looks down at the last dvd in his hands. he's just not that into you stares him in the face, like an overtly cliched and terrible hint. he shoves the dvd onto the shelf a little harder than intended. whatever. it was a shit movie anyway.

@daekaebi asked : you really thought nobody would find out?

hate is a strong word, and julian knows better. he's never hated dae-hyun, only been wounded and angry. spite is a virus that infects him whenever he feels slighted, the result of an ego fed early on. really, if anyone looks past this, they might catch a glimpse of the lonely boy who lost his father young and inherited all of his sins.

he had hid behind the wall he had securely built brick-by-brick since he was young, safeguarding himself. he could blame his inability to express himself on his father, on his grandfather, his experiences in school, all the little and big traumas that had accumulated over the years... but it was just him, now. just him and his deep-seated self-loathing, a hatred that had it's claws in deep with nowhere to go but deeper. julian was the only one who could possibly begin to comprehend it, just as he had come to perceive parts of julian that so few were allowed to see while they were together. for how tumultuous things had become, the part that still loved him remained, no matter how he had tried to warp it.

julian stares at dae-hyun, wishing tears weren't currently welling up in his eyes and threatening to spill. he hasn't cried in front of dae-hyun in years and he sure as hell doesn't want to now. ❝ if you gave a shit about me, why didn't you call me when i got out? not even a text. ❞

as soon as the tears start welling up, dae-hyun stills; any frustration, any resistance, falters. he's only seen julian vulnerable like this a handful of times, and each and every time was as heartbreaking as the last. and much like every other time, he's left standing there, not knowing what to do, now burdened with the overwhelming guilt that had followed him around ever since he walked out.

❛ you know, your threat isn't as scary as you think it is, ❜ he forces a small smile, tucking some of dae-hyun's hair behind his ear. steve's gaze softens, as it often does whenever he looks at him. ❛ it'd be an honor to be killed and eaten by you. ❜ legs tangled together, he presses another kiss to dae-hyun's forehead, this one lingering as he runs his fingers through onyx hair.

sleep doesn't return as fluidly as it once had, steve staring at the patterns on his wallpaper until his eyes begin to finally unfocus, the only solution to close them. chihiro climbs back onto the bed at some point during the night, cautiously burrowing into the covers atop dae-hyun's back. she loafs there, purring loudly as if to let him know she forgives him and will be taking the night shift to watch over them all.

he lies awake for a few hours after steve falls asleep, unable to switch off his brain after what he had seen, what he had dreamt. he remains glued to steve for the rest of the night, comforted by his heartbeat, by the sound of his breathing and chihiro's rumbling purr against his back. by the time the sun had begun to poke through the curtains, sleep had taken over, even with the residual worry for what the day might bring.

the sound of chihiro's biscuit breakfast hitting the tin bowl caused him to stir, eyes slowly opening to find an empty spot where steve had been hours prior. he jumps out of bed abruptly, rushing out of steve's room only to find him waiting, at the bottom of the stairs. jesus fucking christ. “ i thought you'd left without me, ” he exhales, an almost sulk creeping into his expression. however, he notes the weariness that seemed to cling to steve as it usually did him. his shoulders slump, guilt weaving into the set of his mouth. “ i'll be... five minutes, ” he backs towards the bathroom and showers quickly, brushing his teeth and slipping into his clothes from the day before. once he's pulled his hair back and gathered his things, pocketing his phone, he makes his way downstairs to meet steve.

shane takes the pen from dae-hyun and writes down the address, scribbling his phone number underneath it as well. taking his phone out, he opens a blank contact and hands it to dae-hyun to fill out just in case any plans change from now until next weekend. he takes the opportunity to put the rentals and his wallet back into his bag, one of the straps slung over a shoulder when he's done.

❛ my mom does some charity work with the school board. they just raised a lot of money for a new gym at the middle school, so. ❜ he expects the usual crowd; most of the families that already reside in loch nora, some school officials, likely a few peers who wouldn't give shane the time of day at hawkins high. shane doesn't mind, though. he's proud of the effort his mom puts into improving her surroundings, even if those same surroundings haven't always been the most kind to her either.

dae-hyun hands shane back his phone. “ a new gym? ” his eyebrows shoot up, impressed. without knowing the specifics, that sounded like no easy feat. it continues to baffle him, then, how he had not come to hear about shane or his family, considering how involved they seemed to be in town, “ she sounds like an impressive woman. ”

as shane makes to leave, he remains behind the counter with that perpetual sinking feeling that would undoubtedly plague him for the rest of his shift and thereafter. he and steve were meant to be no more than a casual... thing. casual. casual. he reminds himself over and over and over and-