impostor syndrome

So I went to the pet store today to pick up stuff for the terrarium and, don’t hate me, but I kinda got talked into getting a snake. I hope you’re… not afraid of snakes. But even if you are, she’s so friendly, Haz. She’s got the cutest little face and she just scoots around without a thought in that little brain of hers. She actually kind of reminds me of you so it’s perfect. Just, uh, don’t kill me, okay? I know we weren’t planning on adding to our little scaly family but shit happens. You can blame the girl at the pet store giving me the sob story about how no one wanted to buy her because they kept calling her “ugly”. 

[ @hollabackstyles​ ]

That’s more like it! You’re a smart man, you know that? A lot of people would just be out here giving me shit but you? You fold real quick. Aw yeah, you’re doing a two parter, I forgot about that. I’ll just have to travel out for one of your shows I guess and if you are gone when I get back we’ll do our wine gossip night via FaceTime, I don’t even care. You could add more days to the year? I had no idea you were that powerful. 

Me? Responsible? Man, I must be giving off a really good impression and telling lots of lies because I’m not responsible. Okay, so I am kind of responsible and you know I wouldn’t run out on you. That might have something to do with it – I mean, we might not be like some people but we do get up to some freaky stuff every once in a while. We’re either aliens or just really, really cool humans. A full body massage? Ugh, sounds like a lot of work but I guess I can do that for you. And if you return the favor because I could use a rub down. In more than one way.

oh, you are so welcome, h. ever need somebody there to support you, i’m your gal, okay? although i’m pretty sure you’ve got a whole fanbase behind you doing exactly that. brilliant, i’ll give you a buzz once i’m settled, for sure. i look forward to it. you have been busy, haven’t you? but you are doing so well, i’m proud. and your new song – it’s on repeat. no jokes. nothing like a bit of time off though, can’t go wrong with it. aw, you did? that’s so cute, and thank you. decided to give this acting malarkey a go, didn’t i! 

Whoa, there for a second I really thought you were gonna fight me or something. Don’t worry, Haz – if I ever knocked you up, I’d at least pay child support. I’m pretty sure we’re both pretty much aliens and I’m establishing this as fact right now. It happened in a dream so it’s gotta be at least half true, right? Aw, poor baby – how can I make it up to you? I’ll do whatever you ask as long as it’s not changing 5 alien baby diapers. That’s a no-go. Everything else is totally on the table though.

Okay fine, but just know that I could at any moment and it’d be your fault. I however don’t want death threats for ruining your career so I guess you’re safe for now. I’m having a great time on tour, just trying to soak it all in since it’s almost over. How was your tour? We really do need to plan better, so we’ll have to talk to people when I’m back. Yes, definitely, a wine night and catch up sounds great.

Of course! I’ll get it all the way up there, Haz. But we all know that it’s not gonna fail. Oh, I know that they are! I’m working on some really cool stuff and can’t wait to get it out into the world. He is the best. He’s a little German Shephard and is a little dumb but in the best way possible. I’ll bring him over sometime! Oh no! This is honestly an amazing relationship-I’m very happy. We had a few rough patches but don’t think we’d be a strong couple if we didn’t, ya know?

Oh yeah definitely, pregnancies are crazy, well it depends also on it I guess. My mom had it very smooth with my brother but with me, it was wild.

hey, joking or not you know i would say you’d make a pretty sick life coach. i mean, you seem pretty chill, have everything sorted and down to a t. expect a visit next time i’m in two minds about making an impulsive decision – i’ll value your opinions on them beforehand. when i have five minutes, you’ll have to show me around a little? it’s been a while, harry. very well actually, thank you. how are you doing, my love?

I heard you decided to role back into town when I’m not there and I just want you to know that I’m upset. Prepare to be punched when I get back from tour, it’s what you deserve. I’ll probably be too tired to actually hit you when I get back in all honesty, but we’re catching up as soon as I’m well rested. @hollabackstyles

It is pretty hilarious and I have to say, I laughed about it for like 20 minutes last night as I was wiping all that crap up. No, I’d never do that – unless you cross me, then I might wish a pollen storm on you next spring. You’ll forget I even mentioned it. I guess I prefer something going a little bit wrong than everything going right and then being bored. Cleaning it up gave me something to do at least. Does it make me special? I guess so. The pollen gods blessed me. 

I had an everything bagel today, and I just kept thinking what if someone wanted to test me randomly. How terrible. I bet it was, but I’m pretty sure that everything you put out, turns into something wonderful. Are you excited for the album?

Of course! You know that I’m always gonna be your biggest fan, Hazzie. I love it! It’s got such a great vibe to it. I absolutely love the sound and I’m currently working on putting some stuff out myself. Oh, really? Well, at least you’re here now and you’ve got everyone around ya. I think the best thing would have been you going on the trip, but I’m glad you’re here anyway. Oh, his name’s Ollie! I got him about a month after I moved in. My parents were watching him while I went away. We weren’t initially, I think, but we are at the moment and getting there. I really like her.

sweet reunion { h + r }

Rich tries to be inconspicuous as he watches Harry, but nearly misses the glass he’s trying to pour iced coffee into and curses under his breath. It’s almost a relief to see Harry here, in his apartment, where it feels like he’s supposed to be. That’s grossly cheesy to think, but it’s true. Even when he first met Harry, when they first started really seeing each other here, he felt like the perfect fit in this space. It was like he was the one thing that was missing from Rich’s life and now he’s here. It almost doesn’t feel real. Rich finishes making his coffee and makes his way to the couch, flopping down next to Harry and stretching out. The kiss catches him off guard, but he accepts it nonetheless with a smile. But then the mood turns serious again and Rich sighs, closing his eyes as Harry keeps him held in place, forehead to forehead.

“It’s really okay, Haz,” Rich reassures him, letting out another soft sigh, “I believe you and I don’t want to get all hung up on the sorries. Let’s just… keep moving forward, okay? Shit happens. We can sit here and think about the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve but why does it matter? You’re here now and that’s… pretty much all I ever wanted so…” He bumps his nose against Harry’s, a little half smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. “I love you, even if you’re kind of a moron sometimes, and I guess you’re allowed to be a little stupid every once in a while. Keeps things interesting.” Then, when Harry offers the date, Rich pauses, pulls back just a hair to look at him with a single raised brow. “What, like, now? I mean, I guess I don’t care when it is. Yeah, we can go.”

The exhaustion from the trip is weighing heavily on Rich though and he hopes Harry will at least let him take a nap or something before they go gallivanting around town. He likes the whole “starting over” idea, and they could really stand to get to know each other again after these months apart, but he won’t be able to focus if he’s too tired. Rich reaches for his coffee, chugs most of it down and sets it back on the table, before leaning in to kiss Harry for a long moment. He wraps his arms around Harry instinctively, pulling him closer, deepening their kiss for a moment before pulling away. “Before we go though, I need… a nap and maybe a shower. You wanna join me or…?” 

harry can tell from the way he sees a bit of panic flash through rich’s eyes at the mention of a date. he muses, torturing him for just a bit before shaking his head with a laugh as he puts his arms around rich’s neck. “relax darling, i didn’t mean right this moment, i know you’re tired,” he hums, pressing his lips all over rich’s face until finding his lips. “i just meant that... one day, you know, i will be taking you on a date. all kinds of dates. but when you have more energy,” he rubs his hand over rich’s back before smirking. “i won’t however say no to a shower...”

and with that he stands up, offering his hand for rich to then pull him off the couch, twirling him around as he does as if they are suddenly dancing in the livingroom. it’s silly things like that, that makes him know he’s finally home and that what he has with rich is something real. something to be careful with and cherish and that he knows he won’t ever want to lose again. as he follows rich to the bathroom he knows that he is going to really make sure that this time? he won’t lose what he’s having.

“last one in doesn’t get a towel after,” he teases before pushing past rich, taking his shirt off and dropping it to the floor as he goes, making a run towards the bathroom.

No worries! And yeah, I have been having symptoms but Niall has been amazing partner, you know with cravings and all of that. And my mom also gives me a lot of support.

Want to hear what your boy did today? I’m going to tell you anyway even if you say no. I thought it might be a good idea to go get some ice cream and check out the town to take a break from the whole unpacking business. I found the mall and the cinema which was great and I actually watched a movie because why not? It all sounds amazing, right? And it was until I came home and realized I left the back door wide open. Now there’s a thin dusting of pollen all over my everything and I’m not very happy about it. I haven’t stopped sneezing since I walked in the door. I can write my name in this stuff. At least it looks like my dog isn’t affected by it and that’s really all I can ask for. I hope you’re all having a better Tuesday than me. What did you all get up to today? 

[ @mountmeadow​ ]