Ineffable Divorce (Lokius Version)

What if you were BLACK and GAY and a PIMP in early 20th century Louisiana, and you FELL IN LOVE with your super hot STALKER, and you got MARRIED, and he wants to CHEAT, but he doesn't want YOU cheating, and you want a DAUGHTER, and she's THE BEST, but she HATES your husband, and she wants you to KILL him and his sidepiece, and so you DO that, but then he HAUNTS you, and then you MISS him, and then you go to PARIS, and you meet MORE gays there, and their leader is HOT, and you FALL FOR HIM TOO, but then your husband comes BACK, and EVERYONE wants your daughter DEAD, and they KILL her, and you completely LOSE it, and you burn EVERYONE, and you get a DIVORCE, and you marry YOUR EX HUSBAND'S EX, and then in the 70s you decide to have someone INTERVIEW you, but you lose it AGAIN, and it all goes to SHIT, and then everything is a BLUR, and then it's 2020, and there's COVID, and you decide you want to be interviewed AGAIN, and you discover your current husband BRAINWASHED YOU, so you get ANOTHER divorce, and you're now TWICE divorced before you're even 150, and you run back to your first ex, but then that fuckass reporter PUBLISHES your interview as a BOOK, and your ex is MAD, and you want him BACK, but he decides to become a ROCKSTAR, THEN WHAT

1. did you eat the baby?

2. are you schizophrenic, louis?

3. and then what?

4. fuck, man, are you the zodiac killer?

Some fluff, some porn (why are my Easter recs porn?  search bunny or eggs on Ao3, and see what happens!).  Enjoy!

Easter Adventures by snarkstark: A determined look on his face, Peter squared his little shoulders. “I’m going to find all the eggs.” He announced firmly, stashing the two he had in his pockets and looking at them as if his parents would dare challenge him. “Good luck, kiddo.” The genius beamed at him, thinking how Steve-like that determined set of the jaw was, while Steve nodded his approval and adored how much that ‘try and stop me’ gaze was similar to Tony’s.

The Eggvengers (Egg Babies for All) by @orbingarrow: The Avengers have a competition to see who can keep a raw egg safe the longest.  Domestic fluff ensues.

Ovo Stark-Rogers by @tari-aldarion: rouge-winter: “Steve and Tony are paired together for a school project where they have to take care of an Egg Baby for a week. Will they, and most importantly their baby, survive??!”

Chocolate Bunnies and Dainty Teddies by within_a_rustic_cafe: Its Easter time and Steve persuades Tony to exchange Easter baskets. Tony decides to add some special items, which Steve is way more than excited for.ORSteve body worships Tony with chocolate sauce and Tony gets Steve some pretty lingerie.

Playboy by @robintcj: After The Avengers but before the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve is living in D.C. and working for SHIELD. Tony is still living in Malibu, but they’re making the long-distance thing work. Tony shows up to surprise Steve on his days off, wearing a trench coat, high heels and a pair of black rabbit ears.Steve is confused, sure, but he’s also totally on board.

Fertile Ground by Anonymous: Fill for Cap-Ironman Kink Meme prompt: One of those stories where Project Rebirth makes Steve not quite human. The changes aren’t immediately obvious and were generally kept quiet, but they lead to some interesting sexual urges down the line.orSteve lovingly fills Tony with his eggs.

Omega in the Reeds by Dodo:  A new omega has entered the reef of brookland he’s the talk of the town but had spurned all of the biggest and strongest of alphas. The omega in the reeds is swollen beyond belief with eggs, they all know what he’s here for. Bucky investigates and cajoles Steve to get into the reeds to see if his alpha mettle is worthy.

A Stark-Rogers Easter by @stonyinspirationwriter:  Clint tries to stir up trouble and Steve once again demonstrates what a little shit he is. Or the one with confetti eggs and adults that never grow up.

Clint Barton’s First Easter Mission by Hutch_HawkEye:  Clint’s never been on an Easter Egg Hunt. But this year Tony and Steve had something special planned with the help of Steve’s army buddies Thor and Phil Coulson.

Easter in Avengers Tower by ibstudent:  Tony, Steve, and the kids are all celebrating Easter. Peter and Peggy both get up way to early and Tony goes overboard for holidays.

Rabbit Redux by theladyingrey42: Oh, God. It was the giant freaking rabbit incident all over again.

Eggs by Skrifa: Squid!Merman Tony has a quite unusual kink. He wants to lay his eggs into Steve, but he isn’t sure how his boyfriend would react. (Steve is alright with it)((Mostly PWP with talking about it in the first chapter))

the humble charles xavier:

oh wow it worked

Get married, do crimes. That's how it works, right?