super duper chill girl

way to the heart by mnabokov (44.2k, explicit, locked)

fandom: ice hockey | ship: sidgeno

Crosby didn't look like he did in the pictures. He looked like a normal guy in his worn jeans and T-shirt, not some larger-than-life figure that Andy and the others had made him out to be. Handsome, sure, but—just a guy.

my bookmarked note for this says: “getting everything you thought you wanted and still not being happy, losing everything you thought you wanted and telling yourself you’re happy anyways.”. ultimately im a sucker for a later in life romance, and the author does sidgeno so so well

morning to wake you by oflights (54.1k, explicit, locked)

fandom: ice hockey | ship: sidgeno

I've been calling this The Sexual Misadventures of Sidney Crosby forever, and that gives you an idea, but just in case: in which Sidney wins a gold medal, has sex (a lot), falls in love (twice), and breaks a bunch of rules.

yes this is easily considered a fandom classic but that is for good reason. sidney crosby was blueprint spacetoaster and this fic explores it so well. and we’ll sprinkle some sidovi in there as a treat hehe.

negotiable by eyebrowofdoom (35.3k, explicit)

fandom: james bond | ship: bond/Q

The shitty thing was that Q had a boyfriend at the time – a ravishing, blond, public-school-boy wank fantasy of an actual, actual boyfriend. Then Bond came along.

this is ur favourite fic authors favourite fic, the narrative voice is amazing and the smut is filthy, what more could you want??

you never use words you can’t afford by scenedenial (1.9k, explicit)

fandom: the bear | ship: sydney/richie

Richie knows she would never admit it to herself, let alone to him, because it’s totally antithetical to the carefully constructed independent woman take no prisoners masterchef girlboss extraordinaire thing she has going on, but Sydney fucking lives to be told she’s doing a good job. She fucking gets off on it.

no notes for this one it’s hot and i am a proud multishipper and richie’s voice is done so very well.

mijoté by baffledbear (19.8k, mature, locked)

fandom: the bear | ship: carmy/richie

In all the years he'd lived in New York, he'd only ever kissed one person. It wasn't even a kiss, it was more like a bite. He could still feel the sting of it, sometimes, as well as the metallic aftertaste if he really concentrated on the memory. Mostly he recalls the physical weight of the hand around his throat, undoubtedly masculine and larger than his own, a thumb pressing up against his Adam's apple. He remembers the feeling of nails digging into the nape of his neck. A hot breath in his ear.

You piece of shit.

The thing he often forgets is that he isn't supposed to like any of that stuff.

a fic that feels like it takes the best parts of canon and turns it into something so much more. it’s heavy and suffocating in the way that every episode of this show also is. and it’s also a flawless character study of the insane interiority of one carmen berzatto

i am the private room by anonymous (9.3k, explicit)

fandom: heated rivalry | ship: yuna/svetlana

Svetlana and Yuna meet at a dinner party, at a wedding, at a hotel.

first hr rec and it’s not hollanov #crazy. i think in hr many of the female characters get pushed to the side, and i loved that this fic explored two very important female characters. the relationship between younger and older women was so well done, as was svetlana and ilya’s relationship and the idea of your friends outgrowing you. i wish i knew what else this author had written ahhh.

welcome to the family by pressuretoparty (32.6k, explicit)

fandom: heated rivalry | ship: hollanov

We are actually so fucking washed," Shane bitches. "I'm never getting better and you are stuck on a losing team that sucks. Everyone is going to forget about us."

"Don't make me trip you," Ilya says, calmly. "Let's do another lap.”

"No," Shane barks. Ilya raises his eyebrows.

Shane refuses to accept this. This perpetual cycle of suck. When he invited Ilya to his cottage almost four years ago now, he didn't expect their relationship to turn into their fucking burial ground.

Shane finds himself grounded in Ottawa for the foreseeable future. With his newfound free time, he hangs out with his family, eats Costco Rotisserie chicken, and whips Ilya Rozanov back into a champion.

in which wasian sidney crosby gets the full crosby experience by suffering his 2010 concussion era and then gets his groove back by tashi duncan-ing the love of his life. if you find the time this fic is part of a bigger series and the other two works are also phenomenal. actually just read everything this author has done for hollanov. blows everything else out of the water for me.

crash landers by gyzym (31.1k, teen)

fandom: teen wolf | ship: sterek

In which Stiles learns to Stalk That Stalk. (Or, how to accidentally woo your unfriendly neighborhood alpha in roughly five hundred handwritten steps.)

my bookmark note for this fic just says: “lowkey this changed my life” and you know what? it actually kinda did, this fic comes across as lighthearted and fun and then it sucker punches you in the face. it dishes out some hard truths in between the funny premise and i suggest giving it a read even if sterek isn’t ur thing.

nine mistakes we might have made by eneiryu (16.7k, explicit)

fandom: teen wolf | ship: thiam

Uncomfortable conversations don’t stop being uncomfortable just because they keep happening.

thiam and forgiveness and the closure that i wish we had gotten from the final season. this author always does thiam justice, definitely give their other stuff a read as well

skincare/scent — ilya is LOYAL to creed aventus, and he’s heavy handed with it to boot, like you’ll know he’s shown up to an event cause u can smell him before you see him. after practice especially when he was younger he was partial to lynx leather and cookies. body wash for after practice would so be the original source mint body wash (this may not be in america tho whoops). but i feel like his actual body wash would be something nice either like a tom ford or armani body wash or aesop. for skincare he would get european with it like a caudalie cleanser or avene. but it would only be cleanser and moisturiser nothing else. when he was younger he just used la roche posay body moisturiser all over. also he DOES NOT use sunscreen and gets burnt so bad he peels and svetlana is constantly having to donate her biafine to him.

shane seems like a byredo or jo malone baddie to me. something super clean and fresh, potentially bal d’afrique or cypress & grapevine. i can also see him being a big fan of like the kit wellness wash (i think this is australia only tho whoops) or the aesop geranium wash. he is a korean skincare convert!!! he’s using the illiyoon body moisturiser, he likes the ginseng boj stuff (he can’t stand the feel of cosrx snail mucin tho). he’s always had a skincare routine tho, he double cleanses, he uses a toner he has a serum and a nighttime and day time moisturiser.

drinking/drugs — shane says No to drugs, he does NOT like the loss of control over his body at all. he definitely smoked weed once with ilya and decided he hated the dry mouth, he hated the munchies, he hated feeling lethargic but he didn’t mind giggling. in terms of drinking, he’s spiritually a skinny bitch drinker but can’t stand the taste, i think he could grow to appreciate an artisanal g&t, he also seems like he could grow to appreciate a nice wine. he does in fact enjoy a moscow mule (no surprises) and he does not enjoy a beer (he hates feeling bloated).

ilya will drink anything, especially in his younger days. he’s picky about vodka, but that’s basically it. he’ll order the girliest cocktail imaginable when in a vacation place cause he thinks it’s funny but then the drink is too sweet and he ends up getting a headache. he also can’t stand an aperol (lemoncellos are pushing it too) but svetlana is a spritz girl and makes him get one so she can post an aesthetic ig story. wait and i literally lied because he also hates north american beer, but will make a point to drink a modelo. he enjoys heineken and barely tolerates a guinness but will always split the g. in terms of drugs, during the off season when he was younger i see him getting racked up, sometimes just with like a group of people in a house party vibe, and also at the club & he enjoys mdma at the club and weed when he’s chilling. idk how big ket was in the 2010s but i don’t think he really got around it. in terms of cigarettes he seems like a chesterfield red maybe but i can see him also enjoying a menthol. svetlana is obviously a vogue girl and he kicks up a fuss about smoking vogues when he runs out of his.

haircare — ilya does nawttt have a haircare routine despite svetlana’s attempts, he did have a durag when he was 15 cause he buzzed his hair and when it grew back he wanted waves and thought he looked cool (he didn’t) luckily the photos have been lost to time.

shane canonically has that seaweed shampoo but i think as he grows it longer i could see him using a sea salt texture spray when he’s feeling fancy.

exercise — idgaf about what kind of workouts hockey players are meant to do, in my head shane is a cardio bunny and a stairmaster warrior. ilya is on that rowing machine with perfect form getting a like 6:00 minute 2k erg. they both weightlift but i see ilya refusing to do bulgarians meanwhile shane is perfect at them and his balance is incredible from pilates on top of it all. also i see shane refusing to do dead lifts. they are both in competition to beat each others hip thrust pb and they do weekly plank competitions. also to me shane is a push-pull-legs split and ilya (lowkey genetically blessed) does some wack full body workout each time.

cooking/kitchen — ilya REFUSES to buy pickles from the regular supermarket and insists on going to the russian grocer to buy all his pickled food (i’m talking sauerkraut, onions,pickles). like you open his fridge and it’s a bunch of unspecified jars with cyrillic writing on them.

shane is my whole foods trader joes king, like he’d be a little slut for erewhon. also i see people constantly saying that he would be drowning in salmon, and personally i think for him salmon is almost a cheat meal cause he’s kinda scared of mercury poisoning, like that’s his special friday dish. they both obviously have a meal plan from the team dietician, shane follows his diligently, ilya has his pinned to his fridge and takes it as a loose suggestion.

also when they move in together they have one of the air fryers that has two drawers cause its both of their most used kitchen item. shane’s le creuset colour is sea salt, ilya didn’t know that people gave af about that and has a dish in every colour. shane would have a forest green kitchen aid with the gorgeous wooden bowl, ilya would have an electric handheld double whisk from 2008 like someone’s babushka. as a honeymoon gift ilya takes shane to sabre in paris to pick out and customise his cutlery also.

re: social media — ilya is a redditor DOWN, he’s sourcing his best porn on there, the whole user interface is in cyrillic, he frequents AITAH, AMA, r/hockey (he’s rage baiting people in the replies). also he was a snapchat WARRIOR back when celebrities still used it, like when he hit the clubs after a win in boston his whole night was getting documented. pre 2017 i see his twitter being a mix between geno and connor mcdavid, i think he probs stops using it tho as he gets older. he fucking loves reels, his entire feed is dog videos, hockey clips and car videos, he gets sucked into like car wrapping videos and illegal mods.

for shane he doesn’t use any social media actively (his ig is hockey and brand deals) but he LOVES an episode of how it’s made, a nature documentary or an old episode of grand designs (he’s a closet hgtv binge watcher also) i also see shane being an ebay warrior, he’s placing bids on furniture, he’s buying limited edition hockey books (he doesn’t bother with memorabilia tho), when ilya discovers his ebay account he starts lowballing people for the love of the game.

music — i see shane being a Huge podcast enjoyer, also audiobooks. shane grew up listening to neil young, the eagles, simon and garfunkel and talking heads (yuna’s influence). i can’t see him listening to anything specific but one day he stumbles on like enya and cocteau twins and he occasionally listens to them when he’s doing yoga/ relaxing.

ilya lowkey has a soundcloud premium membership (he’s following dj’s he met in ibiza and random russian rappers) and is constantly trying to get shane to swap from apple to spotify. russia getting kicked out of eurovision in 2022 enraged ilya and he boycotted for like 2 years, but he eventually came back. he used to LOVE drake (now he’s on kendrick), like 2017 rose landry era he was playing marvin’s room on repeat in that locker room. he also loved kodak black, black and yellow was bostons anthem. he has a secret soft spot for old t.a.t.u, and o-zone.

games — shane keeps a sudoku book on his bedside table, also he occasionally enjoys a game of solitaire.

ilya is patient 0 for targeted ads; he’s playing shopping simulator, grocery sort, candy crush, clash royale (he plays them loud asf next to shane when they’re having Phone Time). also when ilya was with boston, him and cliff would fuck up fantasy football and basketball (ilya was surprisingly good at basketball but was shockingly bad at football despite loudly claiming that being european made him automatically good)

together shane and ilya get ridiculously competitive over monopoly, rummikub, catan, but neither of them really fuck with scrabble. also both of them are GOATED at poker.

clothes — they both have a shopping problem idc, shane is uniqlo’s number one customer, he owns more than one airism tee in every colour. he’s a lululemon princess and only buys lulu socks to workout in. in winter he’s whipping out an extensive arcteryx collection, because he likes to supports his canadian companies and also he has the nhl salary to spend. he also owns salomon’s for hiking. he’s not wearing any of this in like a gorpcore way tho, like he truly just stumbled upon these nice clothes and wears them cause they’re good quality.

ilya is european let’s not forget, he unironically loved fakeminks demna for gucci runway look that just happened. if it’s leopard print and jpg there’s a good chance he owns it. his awards show looks are always a little better than all the north american players (he knows the value of a good tailor). and i choose to believe he owned a ushanka growing up. obviously all his workout gear is adidas. i see him wearing stone island and moncler especially when he was younger. he also definitely owns a signed 2021-22 season psg jersey by all the players.

sport — outside of hockey ilya loves f1 (and to a lesser extent v8) tennis, and soccer. when he was in boston he enjoyed basketball but never really cared for nfl or baseball. and if it’s on he will watch ufc and boxing.

shane literally does not care about anything outside of hockey, he will watch the olympics (he prefers winter but also enjoys summer) and that’s basically it. he does not understand the hype about the world cup (much to ilyas chagrin) he hates tennis, he could not name a cricket player for love or money and he only recently learned the difference between rugby and nfl (he will never learn the difference between union and league).