bless you.

continued from here with @hmbaekhyun

her smile wavered while her heart was washed over with dark waves of disappointment. clouds covered her focus as she continued with her perfected forced grin --- although, for some reason, it didn’t seem as convincing today. perhaps she was in too deep. at least, that’s what she thought in the recent year. her youth wasted on blindly liking, and maybe... loving, a man whom could or would never return her feelings.

staying away was the right decision, she always assumed, but never the decision she ever took. she felt an overpowering, drowning feeling when she’s around junmyeon, but an even worst feeling if she tried keeping her distance away. but what turned her into some sort of love sick puppy? was it the way he talked to her, blessed her with kindness, or graciously always keep her in his thoughts? if anything, it’s probably all of it.

he was perfect to her.

before she was able to run off and comfort this rushing feeling, baekhyun offered up his company. halfway opening up her mouth just to reject him, she had a counter feeling -- something opposing her to ease her desperate and search for junmyeon, yelling at her to fight such desires. 

and sucking in a deep breath, she nodded slowly with her cheeks all heated in a rose color. “i--i’m not upset, but um, sure!” she exclaimed with a hoaxed glowed face that wasn’t fooling anyone, “a walk sounds nice. we can walk around the plaza or head over the beach.”

canon? au? i don’t know — ( future ) // NOT ACCEPTING

how bad of a person did it make her for using her current relationship as some sort of shield? so when people looked at her, they wouldn’t be thinking how she was pathetic for letting her youth be wasted loving someone for years just for that person to marry another. so when people hear about her, they wouldn’t hear how she opened her heart for another person just for them to start dating her friend. so when she looks back on herself, she could say that at least she was good enough for one person. was she a good person for pitying herself? or was she the worst for getting herself into a relationship just for self worth?

canon? au? i don’t know — ( future ) // NOT ACCEPTING.

“guk’s at the bar?” nayeon frowned, “okay, thanks. i’ll go get him now.”

after hanging up the inn’s phone line and just sitting in place, her eyes lingered on the old clock on the wall for a few more moments. it was well over one in the morning. she wasn’t even surprised anymore. getting phone calls from the bar just to pick up her drunk boyfriend became a routine and her restless body would always walk out late just to drag him back to her place because his was too far. 

she rubbed her puffed eyes and went back to her bedroom just to get herself changed into warmer clothing. one sleeve in and then the other — nayeon stared at herself dully in the mirror as she watched how she withered her heart away. she grabbed for her rusty keys to the inn and locked both her room and the front door before entering into the cold breezy air. in yongdam, everything was closed by now and all were asleep.

in contrast, marigold was not.

there were still people outside, not a lot, but it was a large difference in comparison to yongdam. most of them weren’t sober though. probably had one too many cups of wine. a lot of them were leaning their bodies against poles as they sleep through the night, completely unable to walk themselves home. on any other day, nayeon would’ve tried helping, but she was too numb to even try.

walking into the bar, taeyeon locked her eyes on her and nudged to her loopy and loud boyfriend at the end of the empty bar. she quickly returned an apologetic look before heading towards guk who was smiling, singing, and cheering in his seat. nayeon forced a smile as she came by his side.

“nayeon?” he giggled out her name, “guess what? i am a starfishhhh!”

her grin still remained as she nodded her head. “you’re silly. now, let’s go to the inn. the bar is closed,” she told him and he only nodded his head, agreeing with her. 

upon standing up, she grabbed his arm to wrap around her neck as she helped him up and out. his foot work was messy, trailing one foot over the other. his head rested on hers as he walked. guk was putty with feet. 

“i want to rest,” he groaned and frowned, “can’t we rest, doyeon?”

and there he goes again, calling her by the wrong name when he wasn’t sober and sometimes when he was sober. why was she so acquainted with this? always pretending that this never happens, but it always does.

“sure thing, gukkie,” she replied. 

they were both already at the bridge that connected marigold and yongdam. there was hardly a sound, other than the water from the stream below them. both of them sat — backs against the bridge. he rested on her shoulder with his eyes fluttering, finding the will to keep it from shutting completely. their fingers were interfaced, but nayeon could only taste bitterness on her tongue.

“doyeon,” he called her name and nayeon always played along.

she hummed.

“i love you.”

hearing the familiar voice, her body jumped right out of her seat and checked herself in the mirror to see if she was decent enough to be seen in front of him public. years of knowing this person, you’d think she would stop caring about how she’d look by now, but she didn’t. nayeon always wanted to show her better self to him because she never thought he deserved to see anything less. 

quickly fixing her bangs and checking her teeth for any greens, she sucked in a good amount of air before heading towards her bedroom door. just the thought of him around had her heart jumping out of place. man, why did he have to stay at the inn when he’s from marigold? out of all the places. but she’d be lying if she said that she didn’t want to see him more. her affections and desires confused even her. having him away made her want to visit the church everyday, but being around him seemed almost suffocating. 

nonetheless, nayeon’s fingers wrapped around her door knob, twisting until it opened. her blood pressure rose seeing a small frame of his pale face and clean cut hair. as soon as she saw him, she wore a smile that came just automatically. her smiles were never fake around him. “junmyeon oppa,” she chewed on her lip slightly before opening her door wider, “su–sure! of course, you can.” 

despite of how nervous she sounded, nayeon was screaming inside. 

“is there something wrong? or did you want something? or… did you need my help?” she couldn’t help but ramble, “did you want something to eat? i can make you something if you want.” 

the two of them were both at the river that separated the two towns, dipping their feet in the cold running water. nayeon would be listening to chaewon’s complaints about her mother and her plans to stay with nayeon for the night. chaewon would be kicking her feet in frustration, probably hoping for some sort of opportunity to come along and sweep her feet into freedom. 

somehow their conversation lingered and chaewon began sucking in her cheeks at the water and claiming that she could talk in fish (like it was a language). then, fishes swam their way towards them and kissed their feet. “i can talk to fish!” the younger exclaimed and began making fish faces at her.

nayeon only grinned at and nodded along. they came here every once and a while and fish always came around at some point. “all right, chaewon,” she chuckled at the younger, shaking her head and staring deeply into the waters. 

ouch! ( @hmyoungae​ ) a quiet tide ( @hmten ) starter ( @hmyooa ) starter ( @minaxhm ) starter ( @hmchaewon​ ) starter ( @hmjiho​ ? )

REPLIES.

nostalgia ( @hyejinhm ) starter ( @hmnara ) starter ( @hmxjihoon ) slurred ( @hmdoyeon ) i can show you the world ( @hmhyemi ) meme to thread reply ( @hmbaekhyun ) meme ( 2 / 19 ) NOT ACCEPTING // hmchaewon, minaxhm, hmxhaley, hmhojun, hmxtaehyung, hmbaekhyun, hmjoo, hmguk, hmsungyeol, hyejinhm, hmdahye, inhyehm, hmwendy, hmyujeong, jaejoongxhm, hmingxia, hmjunmyeon          italics means starters --- please message me if you want your meme to be a starter

PLOTTING

i have a lot of ims to reply. i swear i’m not ignoring you.

TO DO

( journal ) unsent letters series:  - guk - hyejin - haein ( after some plotting ) - mina 

ALSO—i believe i sent everyone a message and welcomed everyone. if you’re plotting with me and want a faster reply, please dm me on twitter here. i’m very slow when it comes to tumblr ims and i don’t even know who i’m talking to most of the time. so please dm me on twitter if you have one, i would prefer it. 

upon hearing the nickname, she smiles in admiration. hyesoo was beautiful and very respectable in her eyes and nayeon loved these little moments with the elder. “yes, call me little one!” she cheers with eyes twinkling brighter than usual, “i love it!”

you’re welcome to reply!!

twenty years — born and raised in yongdam yet riding on horse and feeling the wind has yet to cross out (or made it) on her bucket list. bicycles were always her favorite, if she were to ever given her opinion, and, you know, there was technically still wind in that. it just wasn’t as refreshing(?). though, how would she know when she hasn’t gotten on a horse to even compare the two?

nonetheless, it was happening. with her feet unconfidently strutting its way to the stables, nayeon’s eyes nervously scouted the area to find seonbin, but running in her head were thoughts of doubt and constant panic. the smell coming from the horses and eyeing at their height had not ease any of it down either. maybe it wasn’t too late escape yet—

shot—! she’s been spotted and he was probably right. not riding a horse for nayeon also meant being absolutely clueless to what she had to wear and for her own safety, she wore homemade kneepads, shoulder pads, and elbow pads — basically anywhere that she thought she could seriously injure herself. her head was too wrapped up about falling that looking ridiculous had completely flew over her had.

@hmdoyeon

the skies were darker hues, grayer tones, and painted in hints of blue and purple. she walked through the familiar town plaza with the cool night air kissing her skin. without realizing it, eight plus hours of text on human anatomy and organic chemistry distorted her sense of time and she was walking from the university library way past her usual time. 

night life isn’t a concept nayeon was familiar with. how people let their tongues dance in the bitter tastes of alcohol and fight their body clocks for a few more hours of socializing and numbness or escape from emotions and reality --- she had yet to try. although, trying probably wasn’t on the top of her list either, but watching how people could indulge themselves in such a life style fascinated her.

lyrical tones whisked the alleys but only muffled words and the tapping sounds from her feet echoed. the people here in marigold had high interest in alcohol --- especially wine. bottles were consumed each night and from what they say, letting the poisonous liquid burn down their throats does things to you.

unlike most whom lived without experiencing their presence with a drunk, nayeon wouldn’t tumble four steps back and let them find their own way back to their homes. no, she was a little more guilty if she’d ever run in such situation. dangerous was what it was, but her conscious won’t settle --- especially watching a girl stumbling and tripping out of the local bar singing (conversing?) to herself. 

“hey---!!” the girl rushed over to the other’s side to grab her arm and waist before letting her fall. “are you all right? um... how many fingers am i holding up?” nayeon held up two fingers, but she honestly had no idea what she was doing or if these were the right questions to even ask.