777 ways

are you an “arrr” pirate or a “yo ho ho” pirate

I’m an “I’m not paying $600 for Photoshop” pirate

i enjoy video games because they let me live out my wildest fantasies, like being assigned a task and then completing that task

Just once, I want the hero to go “your wife/sister/mother/whatever would not have wanted this!”, and the villain to go, “actually, we talked about this a lot. She was really into vigilante justice and eye for an eye stuff. She always said, if something like this happens, avenge me.”

i didnt choose the thug life my mom picked it out for me

it was on sale

thanks mom

How long does an owl live?

Six and a half books

No

You never realize how much gay stuff is on your dash until your parents are looking over your shoulder