wounded healer.

So there he was, junior year of college at a party brimming with girls in pretty clothes and boys in drunken stupors. He’s studying to become a doctor, but finds that his classes on botany are a lot easier- and more fun.

Gil’s friend ditched him about the same time they actually arrived, and Gil begrudgingly found that the kitchen was a safe haven, sipping from a red cup full of apple juice. He couldn’t drink, even if he was of age. He just- it didn’t feel right. 

Then walks in two giggly drunk girls, one in a dress almost as green as her hair and another with a scarf wrapped around her neck- in spring. Blond hair spilling over her shoulders like a molten waterfall captivates Gil.

The green girl, who he learns to call Maggie, zeroes in on him, dragging the other girl over to where he was, by the refrigerator, and she immediately tries to start chatting Gil up. He complies, finding her laugh nice and the other girl’s, Ava, eyes striking. 

He doesn’t remember how the topic was brought up, but now the girls are arguing about who is the better kisser. It doesn’t make sense and Gil is flustered as he tries to make his escape. Maggie grabs him roughly by the hair and drags him back to them. He yelps and she plants a big kiss right on his lips, leaving his lips tinted a sky blue.

Maggie and Ava erupt into laughter, and Gil finds that he can’t help but join them.

When they leave, Ava gives Gil a soft smile and a peck on the cheek.

The next morning, when Gil’s roommate asks if he had a good time, his cheeks tint and he says nothing, only nodding. 

II. “I’m sorry.” Gil finds himself trapped between a rock (Ava) and a hard place (a bookshelf) in the library. Her eyes are brighter than the last time he saw her and she’s holding War and Peace in her tiny hands, Gil eyes the scars that mark her shoulders but chooses not to say anything about it. He doesn’t need to ask what she’s sorry about.

“Don’t be. I had fun.” He says.

“That was your first kiss.” She says. It’s not a question. Somehow she could tell. Gil doesn’t question that either.

“Yeah,” He says. “You were my second.” It’s meant as a joke but Ava turns the color of a tomato. Gil thinks it’s cute. Gil thinks that this is probably the most brave she’s ever been in her entire life.

“I hope it was nice.” She teases.

“It was.” He says, not missing a beat. Ava squeaks.

“Have you had your third?” It was then when Gil realizes how tiny Ava is. For an eighteen year old, she was about the size of a seventh grader. It was almost jarring. 

Hidden between the bookshelves of the library, Gil bends over almost completely and gives her a soft kiss on the forehead. 

“When’s your lunch?” He asks.

“Now.” She answers.

“Walk with me.”

III. They’re sitting in Gil’s dorm room on the floor. He’s pouring over his text books and she’s playing Animal Crossing, legs crossed and tongue poking out of her mouth, determined and adorable as always. 

That is, when she’s not pissed as hell. Like yesterday, when people were throwing slurs at Gil. When Gil frets over her black eye, she laughs and says “You should see the other guy.”

In that moment, looking into eyes like a fire, Gil decides that this girl was a wild fire. He decides that he loves wild fires. He raises her chin gently, her sitting on his bathroom sink with an ice pack to her face, and kisses her, the blood from her busted lip smearing and staining Gil’s lips. He laughs and so does she. 

IV. They’re in Gil’s room again, Maggie asleep on his bed. The two girls had rushed over to him the moment he reached out to them, ready to help any way they could. 

It’s the dead of night and Gil’s hallucinations had finally subsided some time after midnight. An exhausted Maggie had fallen asleep some time before that. Finals week was murder. Gil’s head rests in Ava’s lap, her carding fingers through faded colorful hair, and her calming voice brings him back down to earth. 

He falls asleep and Ava bends down, kissing his temple with a small smile on her face. 

V. “You see them too,” Gil states.

“Y-Yeah,” Odin replies, tired.

“Join the club,” Maggie calls from Gil’s bed.

“We all do,” A tired Ava pipes up, head resting on Gil’s shoulder.

“Fuck ‘em.” Maggie says.

“Fuck ‘em,” A chorus of three fucked up children return.

“She’s mean.” 

“He’s a-awful.”

“She’s… controlling.”

“He’s creepy.”

“… We’re a-all fucked up i-in the heads.”

“No shit.”

“Sh-Shut up, Maggie.”

“Make m-me, stoner.” If looks could kill.

A sleep deprived Ava giggles, “Fight, fight, fight. Kiss, kiss, kiss.”

The group is silent for a moment, but a wave of happiness rushes over them, a sense of belonging, and they begin laughing. 

Through Ava’s bubbling laughter, she loosely grabs both sides of Gil’s face and pulls him into a kiss. Maggie whoops and Odin gags and returns to his game. Gil smiles and leans his back against the wall, sprawled out across the floor as Ava and Odin start trash talking each other.