His Life (Aesthetic)

Someone I completely don’t know asked me on dating tips today during our senior q&a– It threw me hella off, and I had to leave early so  I never got a chance to answer you in person– but sure guy I don’t know, If you really want to hear what I have to say.

First I am no expert, Nor believe that there are experts in love. As humans, we just love– it’s what we do. It’s our own unique individual experiences.

After experiencing what it’s like to be in a serious relationship, falling in love with different people, falling in love with different people who don’t love you back, sequentially falling out of love with different people, having a sister who has dated the same person for like 15 years, taking a 10 week course on the psychology of Love and Attraction, and living with two different couples in the same apartment– I’ve made a simple observation: If you find someone that makes you truly happy, do every single thing you can possibly do to keep them in your life. In college you’re gonna meet a lot of girls, you’re probably gonna hook up with different people, you’re probably going to form relationships with a couple of them. And yeah, that’s cool. It’s normal. It’s part of the process.

But one thing I wish I could have realized earlier is that despite the amount of people you date or hook up with– if you’re truly lucky there is only going to be a few people in your life that you will feel truly happy to be around. Let me break it down for you. It’s that person you just want to see every day. It’s that person that every thought process you make leads back to them (for example: hungry –> breakfast –> greek yogurt –> she likes greek yogurt —> her –> wtf?)

It’s that person you will find and use every excuse possible to see them. It’s that person you can’t get out of your mind.  It’s that person you literally have dreams of and say in your sleep. Even the smallest details stand out to you: the way she smiles slightly bigger to the left, her favorite boba drink, the way she laughs annoyingly, the way she flicks her hair, and the silly songs she likes but you find annoying. She may not be a model. She might not be the hottest girl you know. She might not wear the newest fashion or rock the nicest heels to class. But she is perfect to you. She may not have been a cheerleader. or a superstar athlete in highschool. or was part of the popular circle of kids. but the only circle you wanted to be in was in hers. She may not know how to play the piano. or grew up doing ballet. or be the best dancer in class. but you would give everything to get that one dance with her.