Protector from Afar

→     𝐈 .    GENERAL

❛   hush .   raise  a  finger  in  a  gesture  to  silence  my  muse . ❛   sit .   gesture  for  my  muse  to  sit  down . ❛   door .   hold  a  door  open  for  my  muse . ❛   tap .   tap  my  muse  on  the  shoulder  to  garner  their  attention . ❛   hunger .   give  my  muse  something  to  eat  /  drink . ❛   cook .   present  my  muse  with  home - cooked  food . ❛   brush .   work  a  brush  /  comb  through  my  muse’s  hair . ❛   read .   silently  read  a  book  alongside  my  muse . ❛   hand .   hold  out  a  hand  for  my  muse  to  take . ❛   dressed .   help  my  muse  put  on  an  article  of  clothing . ❛   note .   give  my  muse  a  note  saying :   [ content ] . ❛   amplify .   turn  up  the  music  in  the  car .

→     𝐈𝐈 .    ANGST

❛   patch .   help  my  muse  patch  up  a  wound . ❛   night terrors .   hold  my  muse  after  they  wake  up  from  a  nightmare . ❛   company .   silently  sit  with  my  muse  to  comfort  them. ❛   hospital .   my  muse  is  told  that  yours  is  in  the  hospital . ❛   revelation .   show  my  muse  evidence  of  a  lie  they  told . ❛   indulge .   find  my  muse  drinking  to  cope . ❛   downfall .   find  my  muse  collapsed  on  the  ground . ❛   console .   comfort  my  muse  as  they  cry . ❛   nurse .   give  my  muse  company  in  the  hospital .

→     𝐈𝐈 .    AFFECTIONATE

❛   wink .   wink  at  my  muse .  ❛   wrap .   wrap  an  arm  around  my  muse’s  [ shoulders  /  waist ] . ❛   caress .   gently  caress  my  muse’s  face . ❛   tousle .   mess  playfully  with  my  muse’s  hair . ❛   chest .   place  your  head  on  my  muse’s  chest .    ❛   comb .   comb  fingers  through  my  muse’s  hair . ❛   grasp .   run  to  my  muse  &  jump  into  their  arms . ❛   lean .   lean  on  my  muse’s  shoulder . ❛   tender .   kiss  my  muse  on  the  [ forehead  /  cheek  /  nose ] . ❛   abrupt .   kiss  my  muse  out  of  the  blue . ❛   chaste .   chastely  kiss  my  muse . ❛   good morning .   kiss  my  muse  the  morning  after . ❛   volumes .   gaze  at  my  muse  in  a  way  that  silently  says  ‘i love you’ .

→     𝐈𝐈𝐈 .    VIOLENT

❛   strike .   [ slap / punch ]  my muse in the face . ❛   gun .   wield  a  gun  at  my  muse . ❛   twist .   twist  my  muse’s  arm  behind  their  back . ❛   throttle .   aggressively  wrap  your  hands  around  my  muse’s  throat . ❛   parch .   burn  my  muse  with  a  hot  object . ❛   take down .   forcefully  bring  my  muse  to  the  ground . ❛   gouge .   wield  a  sharp  object  at  my  muse . ❛  shunt .   shove  my  muse  backwards . ❛  stickup .   yell  at  my  muse  to  put  their  hands  in  the  air. ❛  shoot .   [ fatally  /  non-fatally ]   shoot  my  muse . ❛  stab .   stab  my  muse with a  [ knife / other object ].

→     𝐈𝐕 .    NSFW

🌸 @rosearcanum​ :     💏 (from thoma)    /     fifty ways to kiss someone meme

29 .   … as a promise .

the days that followed the end of the vision hunt decree were not met without obstacles on every side ; though orchestrated by the fatui , the damage had been done and accountability and responsibility of both the wrongdoing of the shogunate and the negligence of the resistance were more than paramount .  as for the yashiro commission , one might say they were fortunate to have never been an active supporter or either decrees to begin with , and thus , suffered the least blow to both morale and reputation when unfavourable truths came to light .  that said , it is 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚄𝙾𝚄𝚂 to consider 𝙽𝙾 𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙼 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙻𝚃 , for one cannot immediately forget the near-sacrifice of the ambition of the kamisato clan’s chief retainer .  he of whom escaped judgment , gone into hiding , cleared of crime and freed from punishment …  the visceral fact remains that desperate times provoked emotions that were long buried deep .  be that as it may , when eventually the sakoku decree is abolished , the time to say farewell draws painfully near .  it could not be ignored that the outlander who originally hailed from the city of freedom could return finally to his homeland , and though 𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 had finally been unveiled when she tried to release him of his duty and he affirmed said duty was not entirely out of friendship and fealty , the shirasagi himegimi is determined to stay true to her word when she took him in regardless of personal feelings .  even so , my brother and i give you permission to leave .  not permanently , if that is your wish .  think of it as a holiday .  it has been too long since you’ve seen mondstadt .  surely , thoma , even you … like other outlanders on ritou … long so see the place you once called home .  then , once he has settled his affairs , if it is still his wish to return , then they would welcome him back , just as they had welcomed him when he had first arrived to these thunderous shores .

( yes , that is … the proper thing to do . )

at least , that is what ayaka told herself .

truthfully , she expected her attendant to put up more of a fight just as he had when she brought up the idea to him some time ago , but 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 — and admittedly , 𝐍𝐎 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 — thoma had agreed .  without struggle , without complaint , and with an endearing smile on his face .  so kamisato ayaka had done what any other would do her position and predicament : she helped prepare for his departure .  as lady of the kamisato clan , it was her duty .  as ayaka … well , that was 𝙸𝚁𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙴𝚅𝙰𝙽𝚃 .  surely , it was not simply just a homeland that the protector had yearned for .  undoubtedly , someone as earnest and loyal as thoma had people waiting for him too .  family , friends … loved ones ——  perhaps it was foolish to believe that , to him , her existence was 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄 .  though words were shared and affections were made plain , it was undeniable that there was an entirely other world that belonged only to thoma long before they met …

so when the fateful day finally arrives when partings must be had and farewells must be exchanged , ayaka 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙸𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙱𝙻𝙴 .  she must exhibit absolute support .  no inelegant expression of emotions , no pleads for him to stay or tearstained cheeks .  thoma is far from sorrowful as well ; throughout their passage to ritou island , he is not short of fond memories of home or abroad either , filling what time they have left with much pleasantry and story …  how it both gladdens the lady and quite nearly breaks her heart to see him so eager and composed .  time travels quickly , cruelly , yet ever as intended — they already preside at the docks .  she asks him to write to her .  she wants to hear everything : all of the places he ventures to , and all of the sights that behold his gaze .  oh !  and all of the delicious delicacies that he shall partake in !  her voice grows softer still as there are more tender matters to address , but when thoma expresses that 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐁𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 , her heart sinks and all too excruciating reality sets in .  hastily does she apologise , face flushed with foolishness and stumbling ungracefully with her words in a feeble attempt to save face —— that is , until he confesses to one last test .  for you see , it is quite a waste for the housekeeper to write to his young lady … when she would be accompanying him .

( what ? )  ❝ what ? ❞

right on cue , servants of the kamisato clan reveal her packaged luggage , their friends and associates — depending on who had been privy on his little secret — either have 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙴𝚂 spreading on their faces or are just as 𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙴𝙳 as she is .  and finally , in thoma’s hands are the documents necessary for their departure and return .  she looks on in astonishment .  her dutiful vassal , her first friend , the man to whom her heart belongs …  prepared as always .

❝ wh …  y-you , i … b-but … ! ❞

the chief retainer is frustratingly humble and calm as he explains that he had received the blessing of her brother and her duties to the commission would fall to madarame in her absence , that he made certain that all of her belongings that she would have preferred to take with her are all accounted for , and most importantly , that it is about time for the lady of the kamisato clan to have these new experiences herself instead of resigning to living vicariously through the fanciful tales of others .  with a warm smile and the hint of a laugh , the ritou fixer reaffirms his promise to the princess from long ago .  𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 .  always .  he had no desire for eternity —— unless it was with her .

❝ thoma …  very well .  then , i , too , wish to convey a promise of my own . ❞

the folds of her fan spread delicately as she beckons her retainer to bend down his head .  he obliges , leaning in , as if to hear a secret , but her vow comes not from her voice but from her lips .  decisive as the strike of steel as she comes to meet his , yet with the proper etiquette of using said folding fan to obscure the gentle intimacy 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝙾𝙽𝙻𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙾 .  parting from her protector , who is wide-eyed and slack jawed , kamisato ayaka smiles , satisfied .

❝ do keep in mind , thoma .  you will not receive another one of my … promises if you choose to deceive me again . ❞

𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 .

     ❝  I  am  devoted  to  what  I  do ,  but  make  no  mistake —  I  devote  myself  freely .   A  maid ,  to  me ,  is  the  most  liberating  job  there  is .    I'm  a  chef ,  a  gardener ,  a  warrior ,  a  guide …    I  can  be  anything  you  need  me  to  be !  ❞

🌸 @hinonakae​ :     “  it doesn’t always have to be you, you know?  your shoulders aren’t the only ones that can bear the weight of the world.  ” (hinonakae)     //     more prompts for your feels .

they are returning to the manor one evening when his words leave the young lady rooted ahead of him , unable to see the expression that might exude from his visage , though her vassal’s voice unveils more than enough .  she wonders how long these thoughts have bore their weight on his own shoulders .  how many audiences with the immortal shogun , how many meetings with the resistance army —— he who has watched and waited as her formidable pillar of support yet one could not deny that he , too , shared her burden with his 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 , with her 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 .  ayaka recalls that when she had first aligned herself with the rebels , the young man blessed with fiery aspiration had not wholly understood her reasoning , fealty to her clan conflicting with the threat the insurgents posed .  yet , as time passed , it became all too glaringly clear that tohma’s 𝙻𝙾𝚈𝙰𝙻𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙿𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚂𝚂 outweighed both her name of kamisato as well as the decrees of the electro archon .  he had followed her without question or complaint , repeated her white lies and harboured her hidden truths , and he would be punished more severely than her if their clandestine alliance was ever discovered .  it is possible that the shirasagi himegimi had asked for far too much when there was too great a cost , though they both know this was his choice .  she never needed to ask him and he never expected anything in return .  it was rather straightforward , really .

he simply chose her .  as he always did .

and it was not purely out of blind loyalty .

❝ tohma … ❞  is he having second thoughts ?  no , someone who shines as brightly as he does would not apologise for the blaze that came naturally .  is his 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐍 for her , then ?  ever since the famed traveler had emerged from their shores , the battles have gotten considerably thicker , the cries for liberation too clamorous for even the raiden shogun high up in the tenshukaku to ignore —— and in times of desperation , it is only a matter of time before a matter of far graver urgency occurs .  baal , the kamisato clan , the resistance …  they may all request more from her , more and more , until there is 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙵 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃 .  no princess , no shirasagi himegimi , naught even a girl with unattainable dreams .  and he will be there to watch it all happen , unable to lift a finger or do a single thing for the one person he had sworn to protect .  is that what he fears ?

❝ … you’re right , tohma .  the role that i play isn’t exclusive to myself .  i’m sure anyone else can carry the duty i have chosen for myself ; perhaps they might even accomplish it more efficiently .  but it isn’t the world that i wish to carry … only my world : the kamisato clan … all of the people of inazuma … the electro archon too .  and … ❞  then she turns and looks upon him , as she has always looked upon him when his gaze is turned .  ❝ … and you . ❞  he is a piece of her world , a uniquely substantial one , whose value is worth more than its weight in mora ; to her , tohma is irreplaceable .

the lady of the kamisato clan is aware that she is being 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐈𝐒𝐇 .  she does not deserve his patient devotion , the depths of which she declines to tread out of the duty that both binds them together and divides them , but there are 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂 , 𝙸𝙽𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚂 … 𝙳𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙼𝚂 in which she wonders what life might look like in a freer inazuma without a never-changing eternity and fears of stolen aspirations … and if that future may free her path to walk , not ahead or behind him , but alongside him .  until then ——  ❝ this is something i must do .  i will not rest until it is done . ❞

before dreams come slumber , and before slumber comes waking .

the choice is simple .  she is awake .