Day 1. Sad moment. #TheDarklingChallenge
"Know that I loved you. Know that it was not enough". A moment later his mother will jump down into the abyss taking all his monsters with her.
When Leigh was asked about Darkling and Alina's relationships she said he loved her but only as he was able to love. Like his own mother was able to love him. She was trying the best she could.
She wasn't good at parenting didn't know how healthy family relationships work. Her own mother was scared of her powers and hated her. Her father loved only otkazats'sya people. Most of her life she was hiding and trusting no one. She had risen her son like animals raise lil cubs teaching him only how to survive watching him learn his lessons well and then leaving him. However there was little motherly affection, solace or empathy in her actions, she thought she was putting her silent love into it.
This post isn't about being a bad mother figure but a deep true tragedy between two people who love each other yet can't conquer the life circumstances. Darkling grew up independent confident and she taught him to survive defend and fight to death. She told him he will face the endless loneliness (which happend to her). But her son had different fate and life choices because his mother history wasn't his own, he had his own past.
Once she couldn't understand and relate him anymore she became generally horrified. His choices were too far from hers and she decided that she had made a terrible mistake that must be fixed with him right way. Even in ordinary families children sometimes choose their own way of life and their parents get scared and try to "save" them by ruining their lives.
In the end she was so desperate she pulled off her last risky trick to "save" him and show how wrong he had been.
That was awful. No matter how much they fight how painful it caused he never wished her death. She was his mother, his flesh and blood and the most important part - she was the only person on earth who was L I K E him. Their problems always were just between and never actually about the politics or Grisha war up until she'd talk with Alina. With her death he fall into an absolute solitude where no one knew who he truly was and no one remembered Him.
She said her love wasn't enough. If it's not the most horrible thing you can hear from your own mother I don't know what is. I truly believe he'd seen this moment many-many times again and again and it always hurts like first time.
