Untitled

I need a Dad, stepdad, or mentor who gives me real rules and consequences. I think that consequence should probably be spanking. That’s obviously not a normal thing for a guy my age to say, but I’ve had a long time to think about it. Even when I was 12 or 13, I remember feeling weird about the fact that my parents never punished me at all. I knew it was because I was a pretty good kid, but I wasn’t perfect. I felt guilty about lots of stuff, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

At first I thought I should just get over it… Most kids would be happy not to get punished for anything. But it drove me crazy. Sometimes my parents would get mad and yell at me, and then just sort of stop and forget about it. But I couldn’t move on that easily. Plus, it was super hard never knowing how much trouble I’d get in for something, and always worrying it would finally be too far.

It took me years to even figure out what I was feeling. But after all this time, I think I pretty much understand it. I feel like I missed out on something big and important, something you need to go from being a boy to a man. No one thought I needed it because I was a good boy, but that doesn’t mean I’ll magically learn how to be a good, responsible man.