I Swear I’d Die For Your Love

due to personal reasons i’ll be going back to sleep

just found out today that moths can make their genitals vibrate to throw off a bat’s sonar

we can too you’re just not skilled yet

Me helicoptering my dick so the cops can’t triangulate my cellphone signal

MOTHER OF GOD

ARE YOU FUCKIN

OH GOD ITS BACK

Boy Wher Me got Dam Portado Chipps Is

me @ myself: wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward bud

The truth is that none of you are ugly you’ve just let straight men make you believe your are

sweet fuck vampires are pale b/c they’re anemic

Did you only just realize this? They also suck blood because they cant get vitamin d from sun exposure.

take a multivitamin you melodramatic victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses

“I must feed!” *stuffs face with vitamins-cronchcronchcronch*

*chewing on an iron supplement* I used to be the terror and nightmare of small Transylvanian villagers

me after 15 seconds of work: i just cant do this anymore

no one: ur cute

This is your sign that you’re going to be okay. You’re going to survive this. You’re going to find happiness soon.