The Hitchhiker's Guide to Azeroth

Much like the other titan-forged folk encountered in many places across Azeroth, the Earthen of Khaz Algar are creations of the Titan Keepers formed from living stone. However, unlike other creations of the Keepers, the story of these earthen has taken quite a different series of turns!

Image of Dalaran's Fall via Quark's recording mechanisms.

Khaz Algar was rediscovered due to the ongoing machinations of the powerful void-aligned entity known as the Harbinger, later revealed to be Xal'atath. In response, the champions of Azeroth along with the Kirin Tor proceeded to teleport the great city of Dalaran to the new lands’ shores. However, this action apparently played right into Xal'atath's hands and was the catalyst for the city's second, and likely final, destruction.

Outline of a travel plan for Osbern & Quark to Khaz Algar.

Khaz Algar is a once forgotten landmass located to the west of Pandaria and to southeast of the coasts of southern Kalimdor. Also known by the designation Sector AR-938 by Titan-related entities, the small area on the surface makes up only a small part of the full extent of this incredible part of the world. Indeed, the portion above ground is dwarfed by the vast underground caverns and spaces beneath. Here also is found a large population of as yet unknown earthen who have lived here for thousands of years as caretakers and guardians.

Created by the combined efforts of the famed Explorer's League from the Alliance and the illustrious Reliquary from the Horde, the Dragonscale Expedition has gathered a large, multi-talented group of professionals from across the Alliance and Horde's various members. Per the Dragon Queen's commands that no military interests or factional conflict be brought to the shores of the Isles, the Expedition has taken pride in being a collaborative effort where the pursuit of knowledge, conducting research, and endeavors in exploration far outweigh the causes for conflict and war.

Quite heartening to see, I must say!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with 100 Year Soy Sauce. - Unknown

Attempting to fully explain and detail the immense history of dragons in Azeroth (and beyond) could likely consume many mortal lifetimes. Which is of course far longer than I or Quark shall be around. (Editor's Note: Though in retrospect, I'm not so sure about Quark.) However, given the current state of affairs in the world and recent events within the flights themselves, the Guide will here offer a comparatively brief but informative analysis of the five primary currently in existence and/or will/have/do exist at the present moment of time. (Editor's Note: For explanation of the odd grammar in the previous paragraph, see the Guide entry on the book by Historian Llore titled "Temporal Magic, Time Travel, and Tenses: A Grammatical Adventure") Of the dragons of Azeroth, there are five major flights with each being led by a powerful dragon known as an 'Aspect.' Each of these aspects and their flights were given dominion over particular facet of the powers inherent in Azeroth and reality.

Stepping off the boat onto the Waking Shores, it is immediately apparently that the elements thrive here in their most primal state. Lava, water, wind... it's all here and very much alive! (This is quite literal in some cases, do watch out for the lava elementals that are near the Wingrest Embassy or you'll be needing a healer or a bin for ashes.) The land is alive in more than just the elements too, as the plant life and creatures are also very active, especially the numerous dragons that inhabit the Shores!

An ancient race of humanoid dragonkin, the dracthyr are gifted with the power to wield the magics of the five primary dragonflights as evokers. Like their true dragon brethren, they also can take on a humanoid visage in lieu of their draconic form.

As their origins are still being fully explained and understood by experts and regular folks alike, the Dracthyr have traveled to the lands of the Alliance and Horde to learn of the world in this age.

While they have much to learn from us, I fervently believe we have quite a lot to learn from them as well!

The Dragon Isles, also known historically as the Broodlands, are a series of islands located north-northeast from Quel'Thalas in the Eastern Kingdoms and to the east of the shores of Northrend. Few in the world today even know of them, and far, far fewer have ever stepped on the isle's shores.

Said to be a lush, primal land teeming with elemental magics and Azeroth's life energies, the isles are the ancestral homelands of dragonkind and served as their seat of power when the world was young

Hidden from the world by the a powerful object of the Titans after the Great Sundering, most dragons departed the isles and left it in the care of the titanic watchers.

The Black Prince, Wrathion has long been in search of the dragons' ancestral home but was unable to discern much about them as the other dragonflights were averse to sharing any information.

With the reemergence of the fabled Isles, there have been a noticeable change in the elements of the world and a number of places have seen incursions by large elemental forces of all kinds.

With these events occuring and the opening of the way, it has been decided that a joint venture be undertaken by the Alliance's Explorer's League and the Horde's Reliquary. Seeing this as an exploratory mission, this union of the two illustrious groups has been dubbed the Dragonscale Expedition.

The multi-volume Encyclopedia Azsunica used to be the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom in Azeroth and places beyond. It covers subjects ranging from botany, such as the effects Doom Shroom plant, to distilling, as with the making of Fortified Gilnean Brandy, and even anthropology, evidenced by the writing on murloc culture and society provided by King Mrgl-Mrgl of Druids for the Ethical and Humane Treatment of Animals (D.E.H.T.A.).

However, in many of the more relaxed areas in the universe, the Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Azsunica as such a repository. For though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects. First, it is slightly cheaper.

Sitting in the peaks of one of the many floating isles in the skies of Aurinor, there is a place where final message left by the First Ones can be found. Discovered inadvertently during one the Legion’s attempted invasions, it’s significance wasn’t really understood until recent events brought some understanding to who wrote the message. Written in fifty foot high letters of blue flame, the message is carved into the side of these peaks. The message and the pass leading to them are guarded by a decidedly odd broker from Cartel By who is named By’sol the Vexatious.  When approached, he will not allow any to pass. However, if you give him a coin of some type (seriously, any sort will do... even a bottlecap), he’ll allow you to go ahead.

Once you can see the message in all its splendor, it reads as follows:

'We apologize for the inconvenience.”

* STATIC *

“Um, yes. Hello? Is this thing functioning?”

< loud mechanical squawking noises erupt in the background > 

“Okay, okay. I get it, Quark. It’s working... Ah, hello readers, explorers, hitchhikers, and so on! Just wanted to send word that I am, in fact, NOT dead. Instead, I’m quite alive and kicking, as the saying goes...” < an irritated mechanical squawk interrupts the speaker >  “Oh right. Quark is also alive and kicking... as much as a mechano-rooster is really livi- OUCH!.”

< a heavy sigh comes across the radio>

“Yes, Quark is alive.”

“I have, however, been in the afterlife, the Shadowlands to be precise, for the past year and a half. To say it’s been interesting would be understatement of the highest order of magnitude...”

*MORE STATIC *

< speaking loudly over the rising static noise >

“Ah, seems the connection is still a bit out of sorts! Ah well, I’ll return soon with a bundle of new entries for the Guide!

Found under the Stormwind City's station of the Deeprun Tram, the enterprising gnome Bizmo runs his Brawlpub, where groups of battle-hungry fighters have gathered creatures from all over Azeroth, Outland and beyond to participate in bloody arena deathmatches with heroes of the Alliance!

- A small blurb found on the reverse of this flyer

While the running joke of the number one rule of the Brawlpub is you don’t talk about the Brawlpub, the pitched battles that take place beneath the Stormwind station of the Deeprun Tram are widely known and often participated in to the great delight (and sometimes drunken anger) of a myriad of spectators. Featuring fighters from all over the known world and beyond, many an Alliance hero have tested their mettle against foes such as Bruce the Crocolisk, Grampa Grumplefoot, THE DOOMFLIPPER, one Bill the Janitor, and the legendary Epicus Maximus! For those who would like to just watch and not partake, the Guide cautions that sometimes spectators can get quite rowdy... and start fights of their own in the stands. So do be careful and watch for flying bottles or bits of unidentifiable food.

On that note, the bar is quite well stocked and it’s barkeep quite the mixologist. For those who want a drink with a kick, I definitely suggest a Banana Cocktail made by Barkeep Townsley.

So, if you happen to be taking the tram to or from Stormwind, I daresay it’s a stop you might want to make! - Assistant Editors Note:  BZZZZT. Blingtron 3000 owes me 50 gold and three cogwheels! 

On the subject of leadership, the Hitchhiker’s Guide to Azeroth has this to say:

“The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. 

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. 

Thanks to a rather artistic friend, I managed to secure these two watercolor works! Kul Tiras truly is an amazingly beautiful place!