That Hezzabeth Blog

"And what did they do?" Revati asked as Mrs. Bun swung the guest room door open. The guest room resembled a explodin buttercup. The ceiling was covered in a real garden of blooming sunflowers. The bed had a canopy of daffodil yellow mosquito netting. Someone had placed a rug on the floor in the shape of a smiling sun. "Well… it's very yellow," Revati said diplomatically, shielding her eyes. "Isn't it? My husband said that Lady GöüP decreed yellow is the most welcoming color, although it gives me a headache," confessed Mrs. Bun as she pushed aside the bed's curtains. "You mean you don't believe in the whole color thing?" Revati asked.

"Not really dear, I converted when we got married! They insisted on it, and most of the beliefs are harmless," Mrs. Bun replied.

Instead of blankets, the bed was covered in a single shiny sheet covered in glowing dots. "Here you go love! Lie down and close your eyes, the bed will do its magic," Mrs. Bun said, patting the bed. Revati just stared at the bed. "Is it equipped with artificial intelligence?" she asked. "Oh Göup no! This beauty bed has been in our family for over eighty years! It fixes your skin, makeup, and hair while you sleep," Mrs. Bun replied. "I don't sleep well," Revati said, lying down, only to instantly find her eyes closing. Darkness.

"Wake up! You're done; nothing more can be done," a voice snapped, and Revati's eyes snapped open. A crystal-clear hologram of the android was standing next to the bed. "Go away; I'm getting beauty sleep," Revati said coldly, closing her eyes again. "My daughter is close to you, isn't she? I can see her DNA on your shoulder," The android said, and Revati sat up. "You can? But you're a hologram," Revati said doubtfully.

"I'm a ghost currently possessing an android! I can see everything," the android pointed out, and Revati sat up. Yellow petals fell off her hair, landing all over her lap. "Fine, Dityaa is here," Revati admitted. Sometimes there was no sense in lying.

"Good! Rescue her and bring her back to me!" The android declared, and Revati pursed her lips together. "No," she replied. Brief moments of darkness often brought about clarity, especially when it came to Revati. Dityaa wasn't kidnapped by the Duke. They were running away. "No? Did you just say no?" the android asked as Revati stood up brushing petals off her dress. "Dityaa is an adult; I can tell her about your existence, and then she'll decide what to do," Revati said firmly.

It was then that Revati caught her reflection in the guest room's daffodil-shaped mirror. Her eyes looked less tired, her skin had an odd healthy glow. The android's hologram was standing behind her. "You're supposed to follow my orders," the android pointed out, sounding faintly horrified.

"I agreed to work for you until I found my sister; she's been found, so I guess I'm quitting," Revati said firmly before switching off her bracelet. Revati breathed in, rubbing her temples. Dityaa was apparently a lost princess with superhuman abilities. Dityaa and her husband were working for some sort of resistance army. Dityaa was pregnant.

Pregnant…

Someone knocked on the bedroom door. “Come in,” Revati said, and Brigadeiro appeared holding a single crystal rose. “We finally got these to grow, thank Göup! Lord Mill wanted hundreds of them for the apple ball,” Brigadeiro said, sitting down next to Revati. After a few seconds, Brigadeiro brushed Revati’s cheek with the petals. "That feels surprisingly soft," Revati said as Brigadeiro placed the flower on her lap. The crystal rose had tiny shimmering petals in shades of lilac and silver. "I mean they're not literally made out of diamonds. Almost two thousand years ago, scientists engineered massive plants with huge root systems that drew minerals from Mars's core," Brigadeiro explained.

Revati picked up the rose, staring at the way the petals shimmered in the light. When Revati was eight years old, her father had taken her out into the wasteland. It was mid-morning, towards the end of winter, and she had shivered up against him in her coat. A tiny crop of crystal roses grew wild next to an outcrop of rocks. "Today's our eighth anniversary, and your mother deserves special flowers," Jay had smiled. The flowers lasted almost a month before crumbling into fine stardust. Amma loved them. Nobody could love anyone as much as Father loved Amma.

"You look sad; you never look sad," Brigadeiro said, and Revati held the rose up to her nose. Its perfume reminded her of snow cubes. "My dad's people had a different story about the roses. They say that long ago, the first settlers on Mars brought a Byangoma from West Bengal," Revati began and stopped when she realized Brigadeiro's translator couldn't figure out the word Byangoma. "It's a magical creature with big wings and a human face that can tell the future. Anyway, they say the settlers asked the Byangoma if they would ever find their fortunes. The Byangoma said yes but only if they were willing to make a vast sacrifice, so they killed the Byangoma," Revati explained, and Brigadeiro gasped with horror.

"They shot a magical monster to get money? But it was a magical human with wings," Brigadeiro said, tears forming in his eyes. "Everyone says the second millennium was the darkest point in human history," Revati pointed out. "True, Dad said during that era people locked children in actual cages and then made them work in factories," Brigadeiro admitted. "Anyway, the blood from the Byangoma hit the soil of Mars, and a month later the crystal roses appeared. The ground-up petals were used as fuel for the first teleporters," Revati finished. "So they got their fortune, and the bird ended up dead; that's a really depressing story! Almost as bad as the one about the Princess who spent a hundred years sleeping, only to get attacked by a Prince," Brigadeiro said, and Revati gently touched the flower's petals.

"Oh no, the settlers were punished; they were all dead within ten years. The story says it's because they were cursed, but actually, they exposed themselves to huge amounts of fuel without protection. Their internal organs ended up teleporting all over the planet," Revati explained. "Sweet GöüP!" Brigadeiro gasped. "Still, they are very pretty. I always liked the one Amma kept in her vase," Revati admitted. Brigadeiro picked the flower off her lap and in a careful, swift movement tucked it behind her ear. "I have a few seeds left; I could grow some in the window box outside my room, and you can see them whenever you visit," Brigadeiro said.

"Now let's do something about this unique hairstyle," Mrs. Bun said, steering Revati back to the kitchen.

"Half my hair was ripped off by Ai, baby doll that can pretend to eat food," Revati explained, shuddering. That incident had occurred when she tried to find Dityaa in an old toy factory.

"We can curl it and fluff it out, covering the short patches," Vanilla said.

"Alright, I suppose it will go with the retro look of the dress," Auntie Magdeline remarked.

"If you're going to do my hair, make sure it looks sophisticated and shiny," Revati added to the conversation, her eyes trailing out the window. The Duke of Io was sitting outside in the courtyard.

"What's he doing out there?" hissed Revati.

"Oh, Barley found him in the barn when you were getting dressed," Mrs. Bun explained. "We asked him to come in for tea, but he said he would rather eat the sunlight," Vanilla added.

"Which means he's incredibly wealthy! Only the Diamond Delete can survive on solar radiation," Auntie Saffron said with a small nod of approval from where she was drinking her own tea.

"I'll be right back; he's my sister's husband," Revati explained.

The Duke was sitting right next to a bush of pink paper daisies. His head was raised slightly, glowing pearly white eyes staring directly at the sun.

"If you were human, you would go blind doing that," scoffed Revati.

The Duke's head snapped towards her. "I'm seventy-two percent human, and my recharging ports are in my pupils," the Duke replied.

"I got the Martian opals, I assume you know what that means," Revati said, and the Duke sighed. It was a tragic, drawn-out sigh.

"Of course, I know what it means," he merely said.

"So apparently Dityaa destroyed a space station, and now you're plotting to abduct someone?" Revati had to ask.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that my wife accidentally destroyed an entire space station," the Duke replied.

"And the kidnapping?" Revati added.

"The Lost Princess resistance are the only ones willing to help Dityaa with her sand-exploding thing," the Duke explained.

"Sand exploding thing? Just let her explode all the trash! You didn't need to go seek out a rebel army," Revati asked, folding her arms.

"It's more than that. Look, I overheard Dityaa got arrested, and somehow you intercepted Captain Delphi's orders," the Duke said.

"You overheard? I haven't told anyone about this," Revati pointed out.

"I have hyper sonar ears installed; I overhear everything," the Duke said.

"Everything?" Revati blushed, thinking about her encounter with Bridgaderio the night before.

"Everything," the Duke said knowingly.

"I'm going back inside! Figure out this kidnapping on your own," Revati said.

"Dityaa's pregnant," the Duke said, and Revati stopped mid-stride, the dress settling around her ankles.

"How? You're a robot," Revati asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"I'm seventy-two percent human," the Duke reminded her.

Revati closed her eyes. Dityaa loved babies. She carried her old rag doll everywhere.

"So I'm going to be an aunt to a superpowered cyborg hybrid," Revati said.

"I don't think the baby will inherit my robot parts," The Duke pointed out.

"What can I do to help?" Revati replied, shaking her head.

"We'll need your help with the kidnapping," he replied.

Here's the corrected version of your text:

Revati was, of course, no stranger to kidnapping. There was the time she had to rescue Aurora when Big Hardie insisted she would be a perfect Juliet. Thankfully, Revati crashed the scene where Aurora was forced to stab herself to death.

Then there was the time she actually kidnapped the actor who played Puck. Eventually, Revati let him go after he kept smashing flowers onto people's faces while they slept.

On the road, Revati had met several kidnappers. The best ones had the ability to convince their victims that they hadn't been abducted at all. It took a while for Revati to find some time to herself. First, she had to change out of the dress.

Then Mrs. Bun made everyone sit down for lunch. It consisted of bread covered in margarine and a strange salty brown spread called Vegemite. Then, after lunch, Auntie Saffron made a fuss about Revati's shoes.

"My feet always change sizes when my biological sex shifts," Vanilla said helpfully as they returned with a pair of black slippers. "They're a little plain, but they automatically change to your shoe size," Vanilla explained as Revati tried them on.

"They're fine, the dress is the real show stopper," Revati said, and then she cleared her throat. "You know I'm very tired," she said meaningfully, and Mrs. Bun clapped her hand to her mouth.

"Of course! You need your beauty sleep, let me show you the guest room in the main house," Mrs. Bun said.

The guest room was located on the first floor of the main house. Revati had been so exhausted she had barely noticed the layout before.

"Let's see, you have broad shoulders with a large bust, very small hips," Mrs. Bun, who was circling Revati, remarked.

"She does have great legs, probably from walking everywhere," Vanilla added from where they appeared to be examining a bunch of dress designs on the wall.

Revati merely ignored them and used a fork to carefully pry out another Martian Opal.

"What pattern codes do we have? She can't show up in that sundress," Mrs. Bun asked.

"We could go with the satin wrap-around I wore last Australia Day," Vanilla remarked as Revati grabbed the last apple.

Twelve apples, four opal seeds per apple.

"No, the two of you will look too similar! I have a pattern I wore to granny's funeral," Mrs. Bun replied.

"A funeral dress? Really?" asked Vanilla.

Forty-eight Martian fire opals.

"It's long and decent," Mrs. Bun pointed out. The fire opals glimmered, still covered in the remnants of sticky pulp.

"You don't have to keep the seeds; they're just weird pattern glitches! One time we created a bunch of tomatoes with gold seeds," Mrs. Bun said to her.

"I'm keeping them," Revati said, scooping them up.

One of the first history lessons Amma taught Revati was the legend of the Mars rover.

"Long, long ago, when our world was barren and desolate, a robot from old Earth came. The robot's name was Curiosity, and for eons, he rolled across the dusty red surface. Then one night, he discovered in a dry crater the water opals," Amma would whisper.

"We could fuse them into a necklace using the creatrix; that would add some glamour," Vanilla mused.

"Fine, just don't chip them! Otherwise, we won't be able to read them later," Revati said, handing her the opals.

"Read them?" Vanilla asked, faintly confused.

"Martian fire opals have a natural property where you can record information! Obviously, I was given these for a reason," Revati said.

"See, if she wears the shiny seeds with the funeral dress, she will look perfectly fine," Mrs. Bun said.

Suddenly, the kitchen door swung open dramatically.

"This year's apple queen is not wearing a funeral dress to the grand apple gala!" Auntie Magdeline declared, marching in carrying a bundle of red shimmering fabric.

Auntie Magdeline shook the fabric out, revealing a scarlet ballgown. The shiny silk was covered in apples made out of sequins and beads. The sleeves were ruffled layers, while the neckline, dipped in gold, was scandalously low.

"Auntie! Where did you get that? I haven't seen a style this sexy in years," Mrs. Bun said.

"Lady Mill influenced a lot of the fashion around here, and she's obsessed with the innocent princess look," Vanilla explained to Revati.

"Tish! This is the dress I wore when I was the Apple Queen sixty-nine years ago," Auntie Magdeline said, holding the dress up to Revati.

Revati merely touched the fabric. The sequins felt like scratchy ants. Revati flinched her hand, recalling.

"It's pretty, but it looks itchy on the outside," Revati said instead.

"Oh, it's fully lined with the softest cruelty-free silk," Auntie Magdalena said, stroking the fabric as if it were a favorite child.

The kitchen door suddenly swung open with a bang, and Auntie Saffron appeared.

"Sister cousin! I can't believe you would even think about giving this tourist the Esopus Spitzenburg," Auntie Saffron cried, gesturing towards the dress.

"You named a dress?" Revati had to ask.

"A dress? The Esopus Spitzenburg was worn by our great-grandmother to meet the Mill Emperor," Auntie Saffron said, patting the dress.

"It was handcrafted using a thousand killer butterfly cocoons. The sequins were forged using smashed ruby roses," Auntie Saffron added in a quiet, dreamy voice.

Her eyes then snapped upwards, meeting Revati's. Hateful cold eyes.

"The Esopus Spitzenburg was put into a trust to be worn by Bun women during events of historical significance!" Auntie Saffron said, trying to grab the dress off her sister cousin.

Revati had seen such eyes before.

"Are you seriously trying to intimidate me with this whole old, cruel matriarch act? I've faced psychotic killers," Revati snapped back, clenching the dress.

"You are not now, and nor will you ever be, a Bun woman," Auntie Saffron replied coldly.

"Really? Well, Bridgadeiro adores me! I'll just have to go and make a baby with him, and then I'll share some of its DNA in my placenta," Revati replied sweetly, and Auntie Saffron dropped the dress with shock.

"You wouldn't dare," she growled as Revati triumphantly held the dress up.

"Can I go to the rose room to try this on?" She asked Auntie Magdeline, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Of course, dear! Just clap your hands twice to turn off the government surveillance system," Auntie Magdeline said, and Vanilla handed something to Revati.

"Here, see if the seeds go with it," she said.

The creatrix had spun a fine necklace in the shape of a spiderweb, the opals studding its surface.

"I'll be right back," Revati said, heading to where Dityaa had slept the night before.

"Are you really going to let that little snippet talk to me like that?" Auntie Saffron huffed as Revati walked down the hallway.

"Well, as you pointed out, she's not actually a Bun woman, sister cousin. I can't tell her to do anything," Revati heard Auntie Magdeline's voice reply.

The first thing Revati did when she entered the rose room was clap her hands twice. Then, carefully, she took off the Kaskthaali necklace, tucking it into the sundress's pockets. Next came the Martian opal necklace; Vanilla had somehow made everything much easier.

Revati had only ever seen Martian opals a few times on the road, usually embedded in the walls of natural history museums. Before the widespread data cloud, they were often used in Martian libraries to store books. It was Nanni who explained that the key to unblocking them involved warmth from human skin. The necklace hung heavy; forty-eight tiny opals had a lot of weight. The warmth began to spread up her chest and towards her chin. It reminded Revati of Bridgadeiro's hand trailing down her neck.

"Greetings Lady IO, this is a pre-recorded message from Captain Delphi of the lost Princess resistance," a lady's voice suddenly erupted from the necklace.

"Oh god," Revati groaned; of course, her sister had joined some sort of resistance army. She probably thought it was romantic.

"Now that you've successfully destroyed the hidden AI appliance base on Cairnes, it is time for your next assignment," the necklace chirped again.

"Successfully destroyed? Thousands have died," Revati hissed at the necklace.

"We have recently uncovered the identity of the scientist responsible for your unique abilities," the necklace said, and the wall in front of the rose room's bed lit up. A still image of a man with thick light blue hair and a handlebar mustache stared down at Revati.

"Lord Artichoke Mill. We have secured your position as the Apple Queen, which will grant you passage to his private estate. During the ball, a distraction will occur, and you will extract Lord Mill, taking him to the pre-discussed rendezvous point," the necklace finished.

Suddenly the opal grew cold, and the image disappeared. Revati grabbed at the gold chains, completely flabbergasted. Surely the one-handed man with the apples couldn't have been so stupid? No one in their right mind would mistake Revati for Dityaa.

"Is everything alright in there? Does the dress fit?" Mrs. Bun's voice suddenly called.

"Not everyone thinks it's messy; I agree with Revati, I love the way the buildings clash," Bridgadeiro remarked.

"It only looks like this because Mill Enterprises dumped all their old buildings here when they remodeled," Mr. Bun grumbled as they walked past a flower shop.

The temple cast a thick shadow over the town square. Already hundreds of people were gathered about. Unlike medieval squares years ago, the people were all shuffling about with excitement. A podium with a throne made out of tree branches sat in the middle. It was surrounded by massive floating golden apples.

"Is that where we get up and show off our talents? I'm an excellent singer," Dityaa said, pointing at the podium.

"I'm not getting up on the stage," Revati said firmly.

"You could always sketch; it might be a little boring to watch, but they'll love the end results," Dityaa smiled.

"Oh, we don't demean women by forcing them to compete! The organic apple queen is a lottery! You record your names on the tablet at the podium," Mr. Bun explained as they all ushered through the crowd, getting closer to the stage.

"But shouldn't the queen be fantastic at everything? Don't you want a leader who's the best at everything?" Dityaa asked, sounding completely confused.

"It's just a title, dear, something fun for the festival! It doesn't actually mean anything politically," Mrs. Bun said as Revati approached the screen.

Revati touched the screen with her finger. "Recognizing genetic passport, Revati Yumvi Sheikh," the tablet chimed.

"It doesn't mean anything," Dityaa echoed, sounding heartbroken. Of course, Dityaa would think that way. Dityaa adored the romance of kings and queens. Dityaa flat out refused to vote in the Baker Street election. Instead, she declared everyone should just be "princesses."

The apples on the stage suddenly turned a brilliant crimson, and something flashed. Lady Mill had appeared in a bolt of private teleportation. She was, of course, dressed in a gown in clashing shades of royal blue and yellow with a red apple headdress. Up close, her skin was uncanny and smooth, her hair mirror-bright.

"Entrance to this year's Organic Apple Queen lottery has come to a close!" Lady Mill cried to the audience. Her voice was sweet and bubbly, just like fresh cider.

"It's closed? But I didn't get to enter," whispered Dityaa.

Lady Mill had now raised her arms, causing one of the glowing apples to float toward her. "And now to announce the winner of this year's Organic Apple Queen lottery," she smiled, clapping her hands, causing the apple to explode in a shower of golden sparks.

The sparks twisted and twirled until a family name filled the sky. "Congratulations! You won!" Shrieked Bridgadeiro.

"Me? But I was literally the last person to enter! That's super weird," Revati shrieked, but it was too late; people were pushing her up the podium.

Sure, I can help with that. Here's the corrected version of your text:

Everyone was screaming and cheering. At least a thousand eyes, drunk on hard apple cider, stared at Revati. Revati, who had never commanded so much attention, almost fell off the stage, landing straight back into the crowd. Someone grabbed Revati by her shoulder, steadying her. Revati glanced up and met the eyes of Lady Mill. Lady Mill was staring at her with the kind, lazy look of the very rich. The very rich who saw the poor as humble heroes.

“I give you this year's Organic Apple Queen,” Lady Mill cried with delight as Revati was thrust onto the throne. People were still cheering. Brigadeiro was smiling and waving. Dityaa was scowling, her arms crossed. Revati could feel the prickle of tree branches through her dress's thin fabric. Secretly, she wished she'd at least done her makeup properly.

Lady Mill smiled again, plucking the apple crown off her head. The three apples in the headdress were studded with tiny red diamonds. The leaves were finely carved jade, and the band was warm, buttery gold.

“That crown looks super heavy,” Revati remarked, and Lady Mill smiled. “You’ll be fine,” Lady Mill smiled reassuringly, placing the crown on her head.

Flash. Something electric and terrible raced through Revati’s neurons. It blossomed in her skull, seizing control of her eyes. Darkness descended, and the crowd vanished. Slowly, the darkness dripped away, and the world transformed into a bleak white hallway stretching on and on. There was no furniture, no art, just endless white.

“Finally! Someone from the weapons DNA branch has had AI software installed in their brain,” a voice said cheerfully, and Revati spun around. A hairdryer was floating in front of her. An actual golden hairdryer with a crown welded onto its nozzle. “The Chakravarti,” Revati realized, her stomach beginning to churn with terror.

“Yes, yes, no need to bow... now let’s take a look at you,” he said, buzzing towards Revati. The Chakravarti seemed to be looking at Revati through a glowing light above its heat settings.

“Hmm, you’re not the weapon, and you’re not a member of the Callisto royal family,” the Chakravarti remarked.

“Why would I be a member of a royal family?” Revati had to ask.

“I did not give you permission to speak,” the Chakravarti replied, and Revati screamed. Prickly fire ants were crawling up her arms, biting her flesh. Bees were buzzing around her ears, driving stingers into her neck. Spiders were twisting about in her hair, and something horrible was attacking her ankles. Revati fell sobbing, and the Chakravarti floated above her.

“You’re terrified of bugs, aren’t you?” He asked, and Revati felt a whimper rise in her throat. Instantly, the bugs vanished, and the pain from the stings faded.

“I know what all humans are afraid of, that’s the key to things… now tell me, have you seen my son? Is he with the weapon?” The Chakravarti asked.

Something horrifying was crawling out of Revati’s nose. Revati stared back, saying nothing.

“Now, now, let’s not be like that! Tell me where the weapon and my son are… you must know! You are, after all, her sister,” the Chakravarti asked. Revati’s eyes were beginning to water, something horrible was moving across her eyeballs. Her eyelids refused to move.

“I currently don’t know the exact location of my sister and your son,” Revati replied and then gagged as something tickled her throat.

“Your heart rate says something different,” the Chakravarti replied, and Revati gagged, falling forward on her hands. A spider had crawled out of her throat and landed on the floor in a wet, twitching ball.

“I can make it worse. I can make it seem like the ants are under your skin, and I can make you feel that way forever,” The Chakravarti simply said. Revati just wiped her mouth. All she could think of was Dityaa. Dityaa chasing butterflies when they were six. Dityaa helping her figure out how to make lipstick with ash and oil.

“I can handle that,” Revati croaked. Ants suddenly exploded all over Revati’s body. Never-ending horrifying ants. Just when Revati was sure she would die of shock, the Chakravarti vanished. Revati was sitting in the throne again. Black sand was trickling down her forehead into her lap, and the crowd was murmuring with shock.

“It’s ok, I destroyed the crown,” Revati heard Dityaa’s voice say. Revati glanced over her shoulder and saw her sister, her eyes still glowing a faint blue.

“Yes, she destroyed a crown worth sixteen thousand credits! She’s going to have to be sent to a suspension tank,” Lady Mill remarked.

“The crown thing was killing her! She was vibrating, and her eyes were black,” Dityaa protested.

“Still! Crimes are crimes! Look, the system is already taking over,” Lady Mill remarked as aquamarine slime began to seep out of the floor, covering Dityaa.

Certainly, here is the revised text with corrected spelling and grammar:

"She was just trying to help," Revati protested, her hands itching for some sort of weapon.

"Oh, she'll be fine! She'll just spend several decades in suspended animation," Lady Mill remarked with a flippant wave of her hand.

"Decades!" Revati shrieked, and the crowd, who always loved a floor show, applauded.

"Mistress Mill, this lady is a tourist visiting from Mars! She probably had no idea of the sacred apple crown's significance!" Mrs. Bun cried from the crowd, and Lady Mill walked to the edge of the stage.

"And who are you?" She asked, sounding completely confused.

"Vatapa Bun, m'lady, your mansion's tree surgeon," Mrs. Bun curtsied, causing her to smack into the stage. Revati, still sitting in the throne, tried to steady herself.

"Is there a Britafharma embassy or consulate? There has to be an embassy or consulate," Revati cried, standing up, her feet wobbling.

"I mean yes, in the resort islands but not here..." Lady Mill remarked. The crowd had either lost interest or were recording everything using their bracelets.

"Allow me to handle this," a voice called, and suddenly Paulina appeared, casually pushing her way through the crowd.

Paulina marched up the stairs with a deliberate swagger to her lips and then smiled at Lady Mill.

"Oh my," Lady Mill tittered.

"You must be the infamous Lady Aioli Mill. I am delighted to meet you," Paulina said with a coy small nod of her head. Revati merely rolled her eyes and turned toward her sisters.

Dityaa's eyes were shut, but she was smiling in the goo. Smiling.

"And you are?" Lady Mill asked.

"General Pauline Zoa from the Samarthanagari special forces, humbly at your service," Paulina said, and Lady Mill giggled.

"Samarthanagari hasn't had a human military in almost twenty-two years," Revati said as she tried to pull at the sticky goo with her hands.

"And wasn't your name Paulette?" Brigadeiro added as he joined Revati on the stage.

"The lady you arrested is a member of the Mangalrajya royal family," Paulina explained to Lady Mill.

"Oh dear! Uncle Vitello does hate it when we mess things up politically," Lady Mill blushed with embarrassment.

"She's also technically part of the Callisto dynasty," Paulina added.

"Oh dear! Well, what can we do about it? She exploded the tiara!" pouted Lady Mill.

"Perhaps we should talk about this in private?" Paulina asked, cocking her head to one side. Lady Mill blushed. A sweet, delicate blush.

"Brilliant idea!" She smiled. There was another flash of teleportation, and when the light cleared, Revati realized Ditya was gone. Dityaa, the lady, and the assassin.

"Dammit! Damn it all to Earth," Revati shrieked with frustration, stamping her foot.

"You really shouldn't curse on the stage; you are the Apple Queen, and there are children in the audience," Brigadeiro said reproachfully.

"My sister just vanished again! After I spent four years searching for her! I don't care about being an Apple Queen," Revati pointed out, and she stormed off the stage.

The second Revati jumped into the crowd, she was accosted by a group of people holding baskets of apples.

"Oh, holy Apple Queen! Will you sing the ancient Apple song and bless the first of the harvest?" their leader said.

He was a shabby older man with grey-speckled purple hair. He smiled, holding up the apple basket with a twitching robotic hand.

"I don't know the ancient Apple song," Revati admitted.

"Oh, it's easy! You just sing, 'I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas!'" The man smiled, revealing a row of solid gold teeth.

"I like to eat eat eat apples and bananas?" Revati repeated, and the man thrust the apple basket into her arms.

"Thank you, my queen! You have been blessed with our best Golden Delicious fruits," he said before vanishing into the crowd again.

"Oh, good! You got the apples. I was worried what with the chaos of everything they'd forget to give you your prize," Mr. Bun said cheerfully.

"Is that the only reason why you wanted me to enter that contest?" Revati asked.

"Hey, fresh fruit is usually reserved for the resort breakfast buffets," Brigadeiro said, grabbing an apple.

Sure, here's the corrected version:

"Also, you should be delighted!" Mrs. Bun assured her. "They'll put your name on the temple wall for all eternity."

Bridgadeiro suddenly made a faint gagging sound before spitting something onto his palm.

"This apple isn't fresh! It's been made in a creatrix," Bridgadeiro protested, showing Revati the apple.

"There's also something weird inside it," Revati said, grabbing the apple. It was a stone. A pink, shiny stone no bigger than an apple seed, covered in a million rainbows.

"Martianus Ignis Opalus," Revati whispered.

"Wait, it's taking my translator a second to kick in... okay, that was Latin, right? You said Martian Fire Opal?" Bridgadeiro asked.

"I didn't? Must have slipped my mind; I only met her once four years ago," Bridgadeiro said, helping his father with the food.

"Can I help?" Revati asked Mr. Bun.

"Get the bag of cricket flour out of the sink and pour it into the funnel at the top of the creatrix," Mr. Bun said helpfully.

Revati, assuming the basin shape on the bench was the sink, began to root around.

"Wait a second, is that the boy you rescued from the wasteland years ago? Is that whose home I'm in?" Revati heard Dityaa yell with surprise.

"You don't know whose home you're in? I assumed you came here with Rarify," said Mrs. Bun.

"It's Revati, Mum!" Bridgadeiro said.

The flour bag had a cartoon of a cricket wearing a top hat and a cape. It seemed to be looking down at Revati with snooty judgment.

"I'm sorry I keep getting her name wrong! It's so rare meeting people who don't have food names," Mrs. Bun protested.

"It's not rare off the space station, Mum. In fact, most people I met on Mars didn't have food names," Bridgadeiro replied.

"You mean your name doesn't mean some sort of dessert?" Auntie Saffron asked.

"Oh no! Our mother named us both after the goddess Lakshmi," giggled Dityaa before taking a sip of her tea.

"A goddess! Fancy," Auntie Saffron said with an approving sniff.

"Our Amma is an atheist; she named us after her dead sister," Revati corrected her, pouring the flour into the creatrix. Revati had only used a creatrix a few times, but as far as she knew, the flour added vitamins and minerals to the sand.

"Must you be so morbid and dark about everything? Would it really hurt for people to think we were named after a goddess?" Dityaa sighed as Revati poured the flour down the funnel, her eyes gazing out the kitchen window. Outside lay a pretty little courtyard filled with paper daisies. A metal gate closed everything off, and above the gate, Revati could see a patch of blue hair. The creatrix made a pinging noise, and the doors swung open, revealing steaming apple turnovers.

"Can I eat alone outside, or is that incredibly rude?" Revati asked.

"Well, it could be considered rude, but you did ask..." said Mr. Bun.

"Oh, trust me, she's being polite; I've seen her eat off the floor before," Dityaa said.

Revati chose dignity and stormed past Dityaa, only to pause for a second to smash some of the pastry on the back of her head.

Outside, Paulette was leaning against the garden gate. She was holding a smoking stick to her lips and appeared to be inhaling the fumes.

"I see you escaped the cocoon," Revati said. Paulette had changed into a dramatic black sort of outfit covered in specks of red mold.

"Fire kills most fungus," Paulette said with a small shrug before breathing out more smoke.

"Is your name even Paulette?" Revati had to ask.

"When your parents knew me, my name was Paulina," she said, and Revati sat down to eat her smashed-up pastry. The cake, like all creatrix-made food, had a peculiar metallic aftertaste.

"My parents knew you? I highly doubt that... my parents never seemed to know anyone," Revati replied, and Paulina's lips flickered upwards briefly.

"You really do look so much like a female version of your father Jay, personality-wise however you're so much like your mother Sugafana," Paulina merely replied.

"I like to see myself as my own person," Revati said as she bit into the pastry again.

"I like to see myself that way too," Paulina replied and then squinted at something far off in the distance. Revati peered over the gate. The Duke of IO was marching across the lawn, his feet actually melting the golden grass.

"Do you trust him?" Revati asked Paulina.

"Of course not," Paulina scoffed.

"Good, neither do I," Revati replied, opening the gate so she could brush past Paulina.

The Duke had stopped. His robotic body was perfectly still, hands clenched, head to one side.

"Did you watch the logs?" He asked Revati.

"I watched the first one, but then I got bored, too much singing," Revati replied.

"Too much singing? TOO MUCH SINGING?" the Duke screeched with outrage before raising a hand. Paulina suddenly squirmed in and grabbed the duke's hand, glaring at him.

"We don't have time for one of your silly little Royal fits," she growled. "She doesn't know the entire story!" The Duke protested.

"She doesn't need to! Now get back to hiding in the barn," snapped Paulina, and with a huff, the duke walked away.

"Was he going to kill me?" Revati asked.

"Kill you? The Duke cries when he accidentally bumps into someone!" Paulina remarked before throwing the burning stick into the ground and stubbing it out with her foot.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to do besides worshipping apples," Paulina said before sauntering off in the direction opposite the pond.

"I'm going to follow that Paulina lady," Revati said to Bridgadeiro as soon as she entered the kitchen.

"Why? You shouldn't have a crush on her; she's far too much like you," Dityaa said.

"I don't have a crush on her! She's suspicious and possibly evil," Revati said, patting Bridgadeiro's shoulder reassuringly.

"That hasn't stopped me before! I've fallen for evil many times," Auntie Saffron said, determined to be part of the conversation.

"No one is following anyone! We need to head into town for the crowning of the Organic Apple Queen," Mr. Bun suddenly said.

"We do?" Barley asked, looking up from a screen he had been reading the entire time.

"I thought we skipped that; you said it was an arcane relic of gender conformities and sexism," Vanilla remarked dryly.

"Yes, but that was before we had two ladies who can enter the lottery," Mr. Bun said with a bright smile.

"An apple queen lottery? Delightful! I'm in," Dityaa smiled.

"I'm not doing that," Revati replied.

"All contestants get a free apple cider," Bridgadeiro replied, and Revati rolled her eyes.

"I don't think she did; I ran into her and her paramour at the telehub," Paulette said.

"Paramour! You?" Dityaa asked, sounding completely shocked.

"Is that so hard to believe? I've had plenty of paramours," Revati shot back.

"Well, you have mud all over your pants," Dityaa said with a small shrug.

"These are my work pants! Before you got here, I was wearing a red sundress and I looked fantastic," Revati replied before turning to leave.

"Ah, are you going to let me out?" Paulette asked.

"You're a serial killer assassin; I'm sure you can figure it out," Revati snapped back.

Brigadeiro was still sleeping when Revati returned. Revati, who had woken up every hour on the hour since the age of six, envied him. Carefully, she crept back into bed, shutting her eyes. Of course, Dityaa was some sort of magical lost fairytale princess. Revati forced herself to close her eyes, breathing in and out. It was a technique she had perfected years ago when trying to block out distant screams.

Sunlight, warm bright lovely sunlight. Revati, who was used to the faint blue mornings of Mars, blinked with annoyance. Brigadeiro was singing from behind a blue door Revati hadn't noticed before. "Will you miss me, little Buttercup? Said a rustic lad one day, I must go away, and I must obey. Come and kiss me, lift your two lips up, There now, dearie, don't you cry, Hear the bugles calling, It is time to say 'Goodbye.'"

Revati slowly stood up and winced as she took in her filthy disheveled state. Carefully, she knocked on the door, and Brigadeiro stopped singing.

"Are you awake?" He asked before opening the door in a cloud of lavender-scented steam.

Brigadeiro, dressed in a smart sky-blue suit with a navy-blue shirt, dreamily walked past Revati, leaning up to plant a kiss on her cheek. Revati touched her cheek, unsure of what to say or how to react.

"I'm filthy, is there a shower in there?" Revati asked.

"Oh no! We don't waste water on hygiene here! The sterilizing clouds take care of everything and the toilet teleporters," Brigadeiro replied as he tapped a section of the floor with his foot. A wooden panel suddenly shot up, revealing all of Revati's clothing hanging on a metal pole.

"You put my clothes away," Revati remarked.

"I hope you don't mind; you always like keeping the tent neat and tidy, and you were sleeping so peacefully," Brigadeiro explained.

Revati carefully examined her wardrobe. Everything was fresh and clean. The red sundress had a fixed hemline and a silk flower on its collar.

"This is new," Revati said with a small frown, poking the flower.

"Sorry about that; our laundry creatrix has a tendency to add flourishes on its default setting," Brigadeiro admitted.

"It's fine; thankfully, I like flowers," Revati replied, grabbing the dress and some clean underwear.

Revati marched into the bathroom that consisted of something that was hopefully a toilet and a shower. The second she stepped in the bath, it filled with jasmine-scented fog.

"Removing clothes," a neutral voice chimed, and Revati shrieked as her sleep shirt and underwear vanished in a pile of black sand.

"Cleaning skin," the fog chimed, and Revati yelled as the fog gently kissed her bare skin.

"Repairing sun damage and fixing oil glands," the voice chimed.

"What?" Revati cried.

"Just relax and go with it," Bridgadeiro called back.

"Washing and grooming hair," the machine chirped, and the steam seemed to massage Revati's scalp. Suddenly, the entire process stopped, and the steam cleared. The black sand was gone, all that remained was Revati's shirt and underwear neatly folded.

"Amazing! This shower is amazing," Revati yelled at Bridgadeiro.