Once Upon A Time

It’s all good, man, I’ll find something I hope. I did enough writing in college to last a lifetime, it’s been ruined as a hobby for me. I’m sure Avery wouldn’t mind but without a wingman that’s just asking for trouble it feels like. Girls at SUR don’t believe I’m taken when I’m behind the bar, god knows what they’d do when I’m in front of it.

I understand. Some people hate writing. It's just my passion. A wingman? don't you only need those when you are trying to get with someone? Like a hook up or something? I don't know the American ways very well still. Yeah that's probably a bad idea unless you want to make your girlfriend upset. Hmm...sports? Like get a bunch of guys together to play?

My girl is gone and I’ve gone to work, worked out, cleaned and stocked my place, tuned my bike… at this rate, I’m going to need a hobby or something.

Ouch, I wish I could say I know a good hobby but I do not. Unless it's writing. But that's what I do...hmm maybe go out? Or that might make your girl unhappy so don't do that...

Those all sound pretty good, so, lucky you! At least they were worth the wait. 

Especially the food. Man I miss my mum's cooking.

The US Postal service is terrible to be honest. You’re probably lucky that you got them at all.

That's what my mum said. I'll enjoy her strange gifts. I already enjoyed the food.

When did they send it?

Food from back home which is the best part. Some clothing...basic stuff really.

What did they get you?

A sweater, some food from back home, a new scarf and some random electronics that are outdated.

All things considering, I don’t think it was that bad of a wait. At least they didn’t get lost or anything.

Oh they sent it the beginning of December. But no, it wasn't too bad. And exactly. Or stolen. 

Were they gifts worth the wait, at least? 

I suppose so. A sweater and some food from back home among other things.

  I don’t know, maybe they don’t have to do it, but that’s all I can think about when I think about that profession. And the possibility of getting hurt by animals. 

Yeah that's totally true but I'm guessing that's their passion so they don't mind. And they've been trained.

That's not a bad thing. I'm super close to my mum even if she's a bit batty.

I think they’d know me better than that. Even before I got a girlfriend, underwear’s just… odd.

And I'm guessing it wasn't your girlfriend. Yes it's odd. I would donate them to the less fortunate, go pick out some your girlfriend approves of and call it a day.

Who would do that, otherwise? It only makes sense.

Assistant zoo keepers? I mean, zoo keepers go to school and get a degree. It would suck if they had to clean poo. 

That's a lot of love.

I decided to take an aptitude test, trying to figure some stuff out… It said I should be a zookeeper. Guess I should look in to cleaning up animal shit for the rest of my life.

I don't think the actual zookeepers do that. Then again I don't know.

I don’t really know… There wasn’t a name or a card or even a note, so I’m not too sure what to make of rainbow briefs at my door.

Maybe someone is playing a joke on you. Like one of your mates.

Candy canes are an acceptable meal, right?

Always. It's in the...fruit category? No probably not but it sounds good.