hey coffee at midnight?

“I thought it’s kinda obvious? There’s more at stake in my career?” Karlie says, repeating the words that Taylor uttered moments earlier. “Ugh! I know you’re the biggest pop star in the whole damn world! You don’t have to rub it in my face!” She yells as if Taylor can hear her.

The doorbell rings. Karlie, not expecting any visitor, takes a hesitant step towards the door.

The doorbell rings again. Karlie slowly opens the door.

“Karlie!”

“Lily?” Karlie asks, surprised to her old friend Lily Aldridge outside the door.

“So great to see you!” Lily says as she gives Karlie a warm hug.

“It’s great to see you! What are you doing here?” Karlie says, moving out of the way to let her friend in.

“I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by since I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I know. It’s been a long time!”

“How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“I know it’s early. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“Don’t worry, you didn’t.” Karlie says, smiling.

They both take a seat in the living room.

“I’m sorry to come here unannounced.”

“Not at all. Thank you for visiting.”

“So what’s going on with you?” Lily asks, squeezing Karlie’s hand.

“A lot’s going on.” Karlie says, giving a weak smile. Lily notices that Karlie looks a bit stressed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay…” Karlie says.

Lily looks at her, not totally convinced.

“Well, the truth is, no I’m not really okay right now.” Karlie finally admits.

“I’m sorry. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, no, you’re fine. It’s just that…” Karlie pauses, takes a deep breath. “It’s just that Taylor and I just had a major fight.”

Lily gives her a confused look.

“What do you mean? Are you back together?”

“Yeah, sort of.”

Lily’s face lifts up. “Really? Oh, I’m so happy for you both! Is she here?”

“She’s upstairs.”

“I’d love to see her.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d love to see you, too.”

“But what happened? Do you want to talk about it?” Lily asks.

“It’s a long story—”

Karlie is interrupted by Taylor’s loud footsteps as she rushes downstairs. Karlie and Lily look at her direction.

“Taylor!” Lily screams, excited to see her friend.

Taylor is caught by surprise to see Lily in the living room with Karlie. “Lily, oh my God, what are you doing here?”

They give each other a big hug.

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you!” Lily says.

“I am, too! I missed you! What are you doing here?” Taylor asks as they let go from their embrace.

“I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d pay Karlie a visit. Didn’t know you were here, too. Good timing!”

“Yeah, yeah indeed. Good timing.” Taylor says, forcing a smile.

Karlie sees that Taylor has changed clothes.

“Where are you going?” Karlie asks.

“I’m going back to my apartment.” Taylor responds without looking at Karlie.

“Typical.” Karlie sneers.

“What did you say?” Taylor asks, now looking at Karlie’s direction.

“I said typical. So typical of you to just leave and walk away.”

“You were the one who walked out on me, Karlie.”

“Hey, hey. What is going on?” Lily asks trying to ease the tension.

There’s a slightly awkward moment of silence before Lily finally speaks again, “Can we all just calm down, sit down and talk?”

Before sitting down, Taylor and Karlie made a brief eye contact. They decide to sit at the opposite ends of the couch. Lily sits on the ottoman chair so she can face them both.

“So? What is going on here?” Lily asks. She looks at Karlie and then to Taylor. “Anyone?”

Taylor speaks first. “We decided we’re going to tell our teams about us today and then she got really upset.”

“Oh how convenient of you to leave the part why I got upset.” Karlie says sarcastically.

“But I don’t know why you got upset.”

“Really? You are so insensitive!” Karlie says, feeling frustrated again.

“Or maybe you’re too sensitive!” Taylor retorts.

“Ugh! You’re impossible!”

“You’re impossible!” Taylor shots back.

“Hey, hey girls! Here you go again. Yelling isn’t really going to help the situation. So let’s try not to do that.” Lily says calmly. 

Lily waits for a few seconds before asking another question. “So Karlie, why were you upset? And Tay, let her speak, okay? You’ll get your turn later.” Lily says, speaking like an older sister.

“We decided to tell our teams that we’re back together but Miss Taylor Swift here wants to tell Tree first because she’s the biggest pop star in the world and her career is more important than mine.” Karlie tells Lily.

“I did not say that!” Taylor protests. She can’t help herself.

“Yes, you did!”

“I did not!”

“That’s what you implied.” Karlie says.

“Calm down, girls. You’re doing it again.” Lily says, trying to referee the fight.

“Sorry, Lily.” Karlie says while Taylor mouths her apology.

“Okay, so you were planning to tell your teams but Taylor wanted to tell Tree first?” Lily clarifies.

“Yes.” Karlie answers.

“Why did that upset you, Karlie?” Lily asks.

Karlie looks away. She feels more upset now that Taylor continues to insist she did nothing wrong.

They all sit there for an extended moment without saying a word. Lily speaks again.

“Relationships are hard. It takes a lot of work. But if you really want to make your relationship work,  you should be willing to talk about your feelings… You need to tell Taylor why you were upset, Karlie, so she’d understand where you’re coming from.”

“I felt disrespected. I felt like I had no say at all in this relationship. That it’s always her decision, her plan… Not only that - she was condescending to my team and I felt really hurt by that.” Karlie says, trying to contain her emotions.

“Do you want to respond to that, Tay?” Lily asks.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. Or disrespect her in any way.” She tells Lily. She pauses for a few seconds, before adding, “I’m sorry if I made her feel that way… I didn’t mean to." 

"I get that you didn’t mean it but the fact remains that you don’t trust me and my team.” Karlie says, addressing Taylor directly.

“I trust you.” Taylor says softly. She briefly looks at Karlie and then glances down but Karlie keeps looking at her.

“I don’t think you get it… I trust you.” Taylor repeats herself, emphasizing the word you. “It’s just difficult for me to put my trust in other people nowadays… You know why… So I assumed you’d understand why I wanted to tell Tree first. Honestly, I feel like my life is 24/7 me freaking out that someone might be recording me or framing me for something… I’m just…” Taylor stops. She starts to cry.

“Oh Tay…” Lily says. She holds her hand to comfort her.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I hope you understand it’s not intentional. It’s just difficult for me… Sometimes I wish I could just, you know, not worry about everything… but I do and it’s very difficult for me.” Taylor says, tears streaming down her face. “I’m trying.”

There’s nothing more Karlie hates than seeing Taylor cry. In an instant, all her frustrations towards her suddenly disappears and she just wants to comfort and protect her.

“I’m scared. I’m terrified of making mistakes. And I guess that makes me a control freak. I guess, sometimes I let fear dictate my actions.” Taylor continues, “I’m not trying to make excuses at all. I know now that I was wrong… You’re right, I didn’t consider your feelings. I was selfish and I’m really sorry.”

Karlie pulls Taylor towards her and puts her arms around her. Taylor buries her face against Karlie’s shoulder and sobs.

“I’m sorry, too.” Karlie whispers in her ears.

"Good! You're awake. Finally!"

"Morning, babe." Karlie says. Her eyes squinting.

"Good morning, Miss Sunshine!" Taylor says cheerfully.

"Someone's up early."

"And someone's up late!"

"Sorry... Well, you wouldn't believe what happened to me last night. I spent the night with this very attractive woman who kept me up all night long." Karlie says.

"Really?" Taylor says, clearly amused.

"Yeah, she was all over me."

"I was not all over you, Karlie!"

Karlie laughs.

"Hey, look. I've been thinking. It's probably time to tell Tree about us." Taylor says as she sits on the bed beside Karlie.

"When do you plan to tell her?" Karlie asks.

"I don't know. I'm thinking today maybe. She will literally have a heart attack when she finds out I waited 3 days before telling her."

"She'll live." Karlie says with a small laugh.

"Prepare my funeral cause she's going to kill me!" Taylor says laughing.

"She has to kill us both. What time is it?"

"Almost nine, I think."

"Already?”

"Yeah. I made us breakfast."

"You did? You should have woke me up."

"I didn't want to disturb you. You were sleeping like a baby." Taylor giggles.

Karlie mouths "I'm sorry."

"That's alright."  Taylor says.

"So you're telling Tree today?"

"Yeah, I need to tell her asap. I have to leave your apartment at some point. My tour rehearsals are coming up very soon."

"Ugh, don't remind me! Can we just stay here forever?" Karlie says, making a sad face.

"I wish! But we need to work. Obviously. There's a whole other world waiting for us outside."

"I hate adulting."

"Tell me about it... Oh, well." Taylor says with a deep sigh.

"I'll keep my team in the loop too now that you're telling Tree."

"Yeah, I know. But I need to tell my publicist first and wait for her instructions. She'll tell us what to do next and stuff."

Karlie's facial expression suddenly shifts without her realizing it. Taylor notices.

"Is there a problem?" Taylor asks.

"No, nothing."

"Well, okay then. Come on now, babe. Get up, wash your gorgeous face and let's head down for breakfast." Taylor says, dragging Karlie off the bed.

"Okay, okay. I'm getting up!"

Karlie goes to the bathroom to freshen up. She's been thinking about what Taylor just said about breaking the news to Tree first before telling her team. That bothers her for some reason and she feels slightly offended.

Meanwhile, Taylor is sitting on the bed, texting someone on her phone. After a few minutes, Karlie appears again from the bathroom.

"What's wrong with telling my team first?" Karlie asks.

"Huh?"

"I said what's wrong with telling my team first?" Karlie repeats herself.

Taylor laughs then stops as soon as she sees the serious look on Karlie's face.

"You're actually not serious with that question, are you?"

"Actually, I am very serious.”

"Oh...okay. Uh, well, um, I thought it's kinda... obvious." Taylor stutters, totally unprepared for this question.

"What's obvious?"

"You know?"

"No, Tay, I don't know."

"Our situations are different, Karlie."

How so?"

"I don't know. Just different."

Karlie gives Taylor a look as if telling her she needs to explain herself further.

"Like, uh, well... how do I say it? I mean, there's more at stake in my career."

"Ahh." Karlie says with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry. I'm very much aware that that sounded very conceited but you know what I mean, right?" Taylor says, getting up from the bed.

"Hmm, let me see if I get this right. You think you're a bigger star and your career is more important than mine. Therefore your team should handle our situation. Gotcha."

"Karlie, that's not what I meant."

"It kinda is what you meant." Karlie says.

"Are we going to argue about this?"

"I'm not arguing. I'm just clarifying what you're saying here."

"Karlie, stop."

"What? Isn't that what you meant? Did I get it wrong?"

"We are not getting into this conversation."

"Why not?"

"This conversation is officially over."

"No, we need to have this conversation, Taylor."

"Stop it, Karlie." Taylor says.

"Why don't you want to talk about it? It's the truth, isn't it? You think your career is more important than mine. You think you have a bigger reputation to protect."

"I didn't say that!"

"You don't trust my team, do you?"

Taylor just looks at her, not responding.

"Do you trust my team?" Karlie asks again.

"No, Karlie! I don't!" Taylor says, louder than she intended to. "Look, they're your team. You're paying them to look after your interest...Not mine."

"I can't believe this! And you expect me to just go along with whatever your team wants?” Karlie fires back.

“And all of a sudden you have a problem with that?"

"As a matter fact, Taylor, yes I do have a problem with that!"

"Karlie, please." Taylor pleads, trying to deescalate the situation.

Taylor's phone rings. She and Karlie both glance at her phone on the bed to see who's calling. It's Tree.

"You know what? I can't deal with you right now." Karlie says, visibly annoyed.

"Where are you going?"

"I need some fresh air. There's just too much ego in this room."

"Karlie!"

Karlie walks out of the room, leaving a devastated Taylor behind.

"What do you want to do? It's freezing cold outside."

"Let's just stay here, drink our hot choco and cuddle the whole day." Karlie says, giving Taylor a cup of hot chocolate.

"I like that... Hmm, this tastes so good."

"You like it?"

"Like it? I love it!" Taylor takes another sip from the cup. "This is heaven."

"Well, don't drink it all. Leave some for me."

"Well, you should have made one for yourself, Karlie."

"I want us to share. It’s more romantic that way."

"I don't really feel like sharing, to be honest."

"Taylor!"

"I'm kidding. Here you go." Taylor says as she hands the cup back to Karlie.

Taylor's eyes wander around the room and one particular item catches her eyes.

"Karlie?"

"Mhm?"

"You haven't taken down your Christmas tree yet?"

"Babe, I was out the country, remember? I didn't have time."

"Excuses."

"I'm not making excuses! That's the truth."

"Well, since you mentioned about your travel. I just remembered - there’s something I wanted to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Remember when you were in Peru and I called you and Josh answered the phone? Where were you that night?"

Karlie is taken aback by the question. She puts the cup of hot chocolate on the table.She’s starting to feel a little nervous.

"I can't remember anymore."

"You're lying."

"Babe, why does it matter? It's in the past. Let's move on."

"Karlie?"

"Taylor?"

"C'mon tell me!"

"No!"

"Karlie, look if we're going to do this again. We have to be 100% honest with each other. Total truth. Can't keep secrets from each other. "  Taylor says looking at Karlie straight in the eye.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Ugh... fine! But promise you won't get mad."

"I won't!"

"No, you have to say it. Say 'I promise I won't get mad.'"

"I promise I won't get mad."

"Okay...So, um, I was drunk and I got a little crazy that night."

"A little crazy?"

"Yes, just a little."

"Oh my God... Did you sleep with him?"

"No!... Almost." Karlie says terrified of how Taylor would react but Taylor bursts out laughing instead.

"What the hell? Why are you laughing?"

"Because! You and Josh... I just can't imagine."

"Whatever, Taylor." Karlie throws a pillow at the singer’s direction.

"Why? How? How did it happen?"

"Because I was mad at you."

"Aww - you were so desperate." Taylor says, clearly making fun of Karlie.

"Stop it, Tay. It's not funny."

"It is very funny." Taylor says as she continues to laugh.

"Look, what if we did it and I got pregnant. Will you take me back?"

"Pregnant Karlie Kloss. Hmm, that would be quite a sight."

"Come on tell me, will you still love me?"

"Of course, I'd still love you."

"But will you love the baby as your own?"

"You know I love kids, right? But a baby Kushner? I don’t know.”

"Taylor!"

"Yes, of course I'll love your baby as my own.” Taylor says, smiling. “Wait, what if I got pregnant? Will you love my baby as your own?"

"Depends on who the father is... If that Joseph guy – maybe not."

"You're mean!"

"No, I’m kidding. Of course I will love your baby as my own – whoever the father is. Aww little Taylor. So cute. Come here.” Karlie leans in and gives Taylor a quick kiss on the lips.

"It's January, babe. Seriously, we need to take down your tree." Taylor says as she breaks the kiss.

"You're not letting this up, are you?"

"No."

"Okay, fine."

___

"Good God, Karlie! Why do you still have all these gifts here? You should send them out." Taylor says as she looks at all the unsent gifts under the Christmas tree.

"Yeah, I know. I just didn't have the time."

"You're always procrastinating."

"I do not. That's not true. I was really busy and I was traveling, too."

"Sounds procrastinating to me. Send these out today."

"Today? The weather's terrible."

"Okay then, end of the week. These should all be gone by the end of the week. No extension, young lady.”  

"Geez, you sound like my mom."

Taylor notices a gift that has a card on it that says "For Taylor.”

"Is this for me?"

"You're the only Taylor in my life so yes that's for you."

"Aww, you have a gift for me?"

"Yeah. I totally forgot about that."

"You bought me a Christmas gift.”

"Yeah, babe."

"Aww... But why?" Taylor asks.

"What do you mean why? I wanted to."

"But we were broken up."

"I know... but I wanted to give you something. Come on, open it!"

"No!"

"No?" Karlie says, confused. 

"I didn't buy you anything." Taylor says with a sad look on her face. 

"That's fine, babe. You didn't have to."

"No, but you bought me one. I feel bad... I need to give you something."

"Tay, this is not a competition. Don't worry about it. Seriously, you don't have to. I have my gift right here." Karlie says, gently tapping Taylor's nose.

"No, it's not the same."

"Tay, seriously it's not a big deal."

"Oh wait, I have an idea! Wanna hear it?"

"Pretty sure you're going to tell me anyway."

Taylor punches Karlie's arm.

"Ouch, I'm kidding. Go on. I wanna hear it."

"Let's recreate Christmas!"

"What?"

"Come on! I feel bad that we didn't get to spend Christmas and New Year together. Don't you feel bad? You still have your tree up anyway. Let's have a late Christmas slash New Year celebration! What do you think?"

"Um, sure. Whatever makes you happy, babe."

"You're not excited?" 

"I am. Of course, I am! See, I’m beaming with excitement.” Karlie says, grinning exaggeratedly. 

"Great! I'll cook dinner."

"What do I do?"

"Bake something."

"Okay, I can do that."

"But first, I need to buy you a gift."

"Tay. I told you, you don't have to."

"But I want to! Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents... and it's not fair that you got me something and I didn't."

"It's freezing cold outside. I won't allow you to go out under this horrible weather."

"Who says anything about going out? I’ll do it online. I need to borrow your laptop."

"Now?"

"Yes, Karlie, now."

"Ugh, you're so stubborn!"

____

Karlie's bedroom.

"How long are you going to do that? It's been an hour." Karlie says impatiently.

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is. I have a timer."

"I want to give you something special. Aren't you happy I'm making an effort here?" Taylor says, looking seriously at the laptop monitor. 

"Well, I told you, you don't need me to buy anything."

"Almost done. Promise."

"You said that 20 minutes ago.'

"This time for real. I promise."

"Whatever." Karlie gets up from the bed and heads towards the door. 

“Hey! Where are you going?"

"Downstairs. I'm not wanted here."

Karlie leaves the room.

"I told you I'm almost done." Taylor shouts out.   

_____

Living room. Karlie is sitting on the couch, reading a book. 

Taylor enters the room, smiling.  

"I'm done! I ordered your gift and it will be delivered today."

Karlie ignores her.

"Karlie, I said I'm done. Your gift will be delivered today."

“’Kay.” Karlie responds curtly 

"Aww someone's upset. My girlfriend is upset. Hey, come on. I'm sorry it took longer than I expected. I really just wanted to find the right gift for you."

Karlie continues to ignore her.

"Karlie, don't be mad please."

"I'm reading, Taylor."

"Not anymore." Taylor grabs the book from Karlie.

"Taylor! Give me back my book. That's rude!"  Karlie says getting up from the couch.

"You have to get it from me."

“I’m stronger than you."

"Well, prove it." Taylor says.

Karlie tries to snatch the book from Taylor’s hands but Taylor won’t let go. 

“Let go, Taylor!”

“I won’t”

They get into a tussle and a tug-of-war over the book. Karlie wins. 

"God, you’re strong.” Taylor says, catching her breath. 

"I told you! You don't mess with one Karlie Kloss." Karlie says as she sinks back into the couch. 

"Are you still mad at me?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. If you can spend one hour ignoring me. I can do the same."

"Ah! So you're punishing me. I see what you're doing."

Karlie goes back to reading.

"You're really going to ignore me?"

"Yes."

"Even if I strip naked?" 

Karlie tries hard not to pay attention to her. 

"Karlie, I'm taking off my top... Karlie, babe, look. I took off my top." Taylor teases. 

Karlie ignores her and continues to read her book. She knows Taylor is teasing her. She didn't really take off her top.

"Okay, fine. You win. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I kept you waiting for an hour."

"More than an hour." 

Taylor sits beside Karlie and puts her head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Don't be mad anymore."

How can I possibly be mad at you when you're being cute like this? Karlie thinks to herself but decides not to say anything. 

Taylor suddenly shifts her position to face Karlie. She climbs on her lap, straddles her legs on both sides and wraps her arms around Karlie’s neck.   

"What are you doing?" Karlie asks visibly surprised by this turn of event. 

"This whole ignoring me thing is really turning me on." Taylor says as she stares deeply into Karlie’s eyes.

"Taylor—"

"Shh..." Taylor says and soon her fingertip traces Karlie's lips. 

Karlie, still unsure of what’s happening, finds herself slowly parting her lips as Taylor brushes her fingertips lightly over her lower lip. She tries to suck her finger into her mouth but Taylor pulls away. Karlie’s body tightened with want. 

"Still ignoring me?" Taylor asks.

Karlie looks at her and smile.”You've got my full attention now." 

Taylor leans forward and kisses Karlie deeply into her mouth. Karlie reciprocates kiss for kiss.

It takes Taylor a few seconds to realize where she is. She smiles as she finds Karlie spooned against her with one arm wrapped around her waist.

“Karlie?” Taylor says softly.

“Mhm?” Karlie responds.

“Are you awake?”

“Uh-huh.” Karlie says sleepily, her eyes still closed. “Why babe?”

“Nothing… just checking.” Taylor says.

Karlie slowly opens her eyes, squinting against the morning light. She pulls Taylor closer to give her a deep cuddle.

“Babe, hey. You don’t have to worry... I’m here.” Karlie says before giving Taylor a light kiss on the shoulder.

“I know. I just want to make sure.” Taylor says and squeezes Karlie’s hand.

“I love you, too.” Karlie says.

Taylor smiles.”I didn’t say I love you.”

“Yeah but I know you do.” 

Taylor quickly shifts her position to face Karlie. They gaze at each other’s eyes. Just staring and smiling the whole time. Not saying a word, just letting their eyes do the talking. Karlie sticks her tongue out, trying to make the singer laugh. Taylor raises her eyebrows, holding back laughter.  

“So, is this Vogue staring contest 2.0?” Karlie finally speaks.

Taylor giggles. “I was thinking the same thing.”

They both laugh.

“Come here.” Karlie says. Taylor nuzzles up to her, placing her head on Karlie’s chest. Their legs intertwined.

“Just so we’re clear, we’re back together, right?” Karlie asks.

“I guess so… unless you consider last night as a one night thing.”

“Nope, one night stands are not my thing.” Karlie says.

Taylor gives her a quizzing look. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Like you’ve never ever?”

Karlie thinks for a moment.

“Aha! Pause means yes.” Taylor tells her.

“What are we talking about again?” Karlie says defensively.

They both chuckle.

Karlie starts playing with Taylor’s hair.

“Mmm, this feels nice. I just want to stay in bed all day…” Taylor says cuddling up closer to Karlie, “But I also want to make you a nice breakfast. I’m torn.”

“That’s easy. Just stay in bed with me…” Karlie says, smiling. “Although pancakes would be nice, too.”

“I know you’re hungry.  I am too. I’ll make breakfast for us.”

“Let’s make breakfast together.”

“Okay.” Taylor says. She untangles herself from Karlie and tries to get up but the model grabs her by the waist and pulls her back into bed.

“Karlie!”

“Five more minutes please?” Karlie says.

“Okay, 5 minutes.” Taylor agrees.

They lie on their sides, facing the same direction with Karlie spooning Taylor.

“This is one of my favorite things in the world. Waking up next to you in the morning.” Karlie says.

“Me too... Should we go ahead and tell our friends?” Taylor asks.

“Like now? No, don’t tell them yet. You know how they are. They’ll be teasing us for sure. I just want to enjoy you for a little a while.”

“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.”

“We’ve got plenty of time to tell them. But right now, let’s just enjoy this moment… just you and me.” Karlie says, her hand tracing over Taylor’s stomach. She starts to gently circle the singer’s belly button with her fingertip causing Taylor to shiver and get tiny little goosebumps on her arms. Taylor closes her eyes and sucks in a breath when Karlie’s hand slowly slides up to her diaphragm, between her breasts.

“Karlie…you said 5 minutes…” Taylor says as electricity rushes through her whole body.

Karlie kisses her on the neck. Taylor lets out a soft moan.

“We can do it in 5.” Karlie says as her hand begins to move once again.

   ***

In the kitchen.

“Do you have any appointments today?” Taylor asks, mixing the pancake ingredients in a bowl.

“Just one but I can cancel and reschedule.” Karlie says.  “You?”

“I’ve cleared my schedule.”

Karlie’s eyes widened in excitement.  

“So you’re all mine today?” She says as she hugs Taylor from behind.

“I guess so.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Karlie asks. Her arms wrapped around Taylor’s waist.

“Do you want to go to my house and just hang out?”

“Your house? What’s wrong with my house?” Karlie asks, letting go of Taylor and pretending to take offense.  

“There’s nothing wrong with your house, Karlie.”

“I know yours is bigger… more fancy…but mine isn’t so bad.” 

“Your house is pretty, Karlie. Stop.”

“Don’t you like my house?”

“Fine! You win. We’re staying here.” Taylor says giving Karlie a quick kiss on the cheek.

Karlie smiles. Glad to get her way.

“So, what do you want to do?” Taylor says, whisking the batter. 

“I don’t know. Just stay in… hang out… you know?” Karlie says, giving Taylor a seductive look.

“Karlie, we’re not going to have sex all day if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Why not?” Karlie says.

“Because… that’s not productive.”

Karlie laughs.

“Stop laughing.”

“Well, you know what? You’re wrong. Sex increases productivity according to scientific research.”

“Ah really, huh? You and your mind!” Taylor says, shaking her head.

A message alert interrupts their banter.  

“Is that my phone?” Taylor says.

“Yes, do you want me to check?”

“Please.”

Karlie picks up Taylor‘s phone on the table.

“It’s from your mom.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I need to call her and tell her I’m spending the day with you. Can you take over?” Taylor asks.

“Sure.”

“Mix it well.”

“This looks like it needs more milk.” Karlie says as she gently stirs the batter. 

“Don’t add anything, Karlie. Just whisk it.”

“Okay, okay.”

Taylor makes a FaceTime call to her mom.

“You should be thanking my mother, you know?”

“Why?”

“She’s the reason I’m here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we had a really nice talk last night.”

“I knew Andrea likes me.”

“Oh, she does.”

Andrea finally answers the video call.

“Hi Mom!...Yes, I’m still here at Karlie’s apartment. I’m just going to hang out here for a while…Sorry I won’t be able to spend time with you today… Yeah, she’s here with me. We’re making breakfast. Here’s Karlie. Karlie say hi to my mom.”

“Hi Andrea! Good morning!... Sorry I have to steal Taylor for a day… Aww, thank you. That means a lot… Don’t worry, we’ll stay out of trouble.”  

“So mom, I’ll call back later, okay? Oh, there’s Dibbles! Karlie, look at Dibbles.”

“Aww, she’s so cute! I miss her so much!” Karlie says. 

“Mom, where’s Meredith?... Oh, okay well I’m not surprised. Anyway, I gotta go, mom. Love you. Say goodbye, Karlie.”

“Bye, Andrea! See you soon!”

“Bye mom.”

Taylor hangs up.

“I’m glad she’s so supportive of us.” Karlie says.

“I know…” Taylor pauses. A momentary feeling of anxiety creeps in. “I hope the rest of the world is too.”

“Hey babe, come on. Let’s not think about that for today, okay? Let’s just enjoy this moment. We’ll deal with all that later. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

Taylor nods. “Promise.”

“Good.” Karlie then smears batter on Taylor’s nose. Taylor gasps in surprise.   

“Karlie! I swear, you’re so juvenile!” Taylor says as Karlie’s ringing laughter spreads throughout the kitchen.

Karlie is getting ready for bed when her doorbell rings. She looks at the clock. It’s thirteen past midnight.

She’s not expecting any visitor so this naturally makes her feel a little uneasy. She decides to wait and see if the doorbell will ring again before checking who it is.

“Miss Swift, are you sure Miss Kloss is at home right now?” Taylor’s bodyguard asks.

“Martha said she flew in this morning so she should be...I’ll try to call her.” 

Taylor slips her hand into her coat, pulls out her iPhone and dials Karlie’s number.

The sound of her phone ringing startles Karlie, prompting her to curse under her breath. When she looks at her phone, she is surprised to see Taylor’s name on the screen. Without hesitation, she immediately answers the call, worried that something unpleasant might have happened to her.

“Taylor?” 

“Oh, thank God you answered!”

“Are you okay?” Karlie asks, her voice filled with concern.

“Karlie, can you open the door please? I need to talk to you right now.” Taylor says. 

“What?”

“I’m currently outside your apartment. I’m freezing. Please open the door.”

“Okay. Just give me a second. I’ll be right there.” Karlie says. She’s trying to stay calm but deep inside she’s starting to panic.

Karlie rushes downstairs to open the door and sees Taylor waiting outside together with her bodyguard. She breathes a sigh of relief as she sees Taylor looking rather well and doesn’t seem to be in any harm. 

“Taylor, what the hell are you doing here? It’s past midnight. Are you okay?” Karlie asks.

“I’m freezing.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Come in.”

“I’ll wait in the car, Miss Swift.” Taylor’s bodyguard says. “Just call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks Greg.” Taylor says.

Karlie steps aside to let Taylor inside the house.

“I’m sorry for showing up in your apartment in the middle of the night. I know this is so random but it’s important that I see you tonight.”  Taylor says. 

“What is going on? Is everything okay?” Karlie asks, still a bit worried. 

“No, everything’s not okay…Look, Karlie, I know I messed up. And I know you hate me right now--” 

“I don’t hate you.” Karlie interrupts her. 

“I know you do and that’s okay… I mean, that’s not okay but I understand if you feel that way. I understand if you don’t want me anymore or like me anymore… or love me anymore because I treated you badly and I was such an ass and I was so stupid. You have all the right to hate me now… I’ve been thinking a lot about you… about us. And you just have no idea how I wish I could back to that night in London and just do things differently… That’s not how it should have ended between us and that phone call. Oh God that phone call! I’m so sorry I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was talking about and—“

“Taylor—“

“No, Karlie. I have to say these things. I need to say these things to you. I’m tired of putting this wall and trying to act tough and strong…You probably think I’m such a cold, heartless bitch for pushing you away… but I’m not. I’m not like that, Karlie… So please allow me to say what I really want to say…”  

“Okay, okay. I’m listening.” Karlie says trying to calm her down. “What do you want to say?”

Taylor looks at Karlie and suddenly she is lost for words. 

“Taylor?” 

“Well, um…I…” Taylor finds herself struggling to find the words.

“Tell me. What do you want to say?” Karlie asks again. 

“Um... see, I think what I’m trying to say is that uh…”

Taylor’s heart is beating so fast right now. She’s almost certain Karlie could hear her heartbeat. 

Taylor takes a deep breath and tries to collect her thoughts.

“I guess what I’m trying to say, Karlie, is that I love you. Just in case that’s not clear to you. And I’m sorry I let you down so many times. And I’m sorry if you ever felt that you were the only one fighting for our relationship. I’m sorry that I wasn’t brave enough… Maybe I was trying to look for the path of least resistance.. you know, trying to look for a shortcut... but I realized that love, true love, that is--you have to work hard for it. You should be patient and have the resolve to fight for it, not only when it’s convenient but more so when the odds are against you...”

Karlie couldn’t believe what she’s hearing from Taylor. Without her even knowing, her eyes start to well up with tears.

“Karlie, you’re such a huge part of my life and these past few weeks I’ve realized that I don’t want to live my life without you… And again, if I haven’t made it clear to you yet, Karlie Elizabeth Kloss, I love you. And I’ll do anything to make you love me again.”

By this time, Karlie is completely overcome with emotions as she finds herself unable to control her tears. Taylor herself is trying to hold back her own tears as she waits in anticipation of how Karlie will respond. 

Karlie looks at Taylor, feeling utterly vulnerable.  She wants to say something but chokes up when she tries.

“Karlie, please say something.” Taylor finally says.

“I can’t…” Those are the only words that Karlie can utter as she continues to cry. 

“Karlie, what do you mean you can’t?” Taylor asks, her voice is shaking as she begins to panic. “You have to be really clear and direct with me now. Please. This is important. I don’t want any more grey area between us. I want to make this right. What do you mean, Karlie? What do you mean you can’t?” 

Karlie wipes her tears and looks into Taylor’s blue eyes, She takes a deep breath and makes an attempt to speak. 

“I can’t put into words how much I’ve waited for this moment.” Karlie finally says, her voice cracking with emotions. “I wanted to forget you. I was determined to move on... But you always find a way. You always a find a way...” 

Karlie pauses before taking another deep breath. 

“And if I haven’t made it clear to you yet, Taylor Alison Swift... “ Karlie smiles as she says her name. “I love you... I love you more than ever.”

And as if on a cue, tears start rolling down Taylor’s face.That’s all she needed to hear. 

They look at each other’s eyes lovingly. Both overwhelmed with emotions. 

Not wasting any moment, Karlie leans in and presses her lips against Taylor’s lips. They kiss passionately for a long time. Their eyes closed as the intimacy heightens with Karlie pulling Taylor closer, not wanting to let go of her. 

They relish every second. Suddenly all the pain and misery brought about by their break up soon disappears. Suddenly everything feels right and they both feel like they finally get to be where they’re supposed to be. 

Karlie slowly draws her lips away, keeping them close enough to Taylor’s lips -almost touching but not really. 

“Tell me this is real and I’m not dreaming.” Karlie says, trying to catch her breath. Her hands on the back of Taylor’s neck. Their foreheads pressed against each other. 

“You’re not dreaming.” Taylor says as her finger lightly traces the full line of Karlie’s bottom lip before kissing her again. 

Karlie is woken up by the sound of the phone ringing. Still feeling sleepy, she struggles to pick up the phone on the bedside table. After a few seconds, she finally manages to answer the call. 

“Hello?”

“Karlie!” 

“Derek, good morning.”

“I’ve been trying to call you all morning. I couldn’t reach you on your mobile.” Derek says.

“Oh, right. I turned it off last night.” Karlie says, which reminds her of the unpleasant incident last night. 

“You turned it off? Why?”

“Long story…”

“Tell me all about it over breakfast. Come on, I’m starving!”

“Okay, give me 20 minutes.” Karlie says. 

“15.” 

“Okay, fine. I’ll see you in 15.” Karlie concedes. 

“Okay, hurry!” 

***

“Hey there gorgeous lady!” Derek says, giving Karlie a kiss on the cheek. 

“Morning Derek.” Karlie says and takes a seat across her friend. 

“I ordered for you.” 

“Great. Thank you... Have you seen Josh?”

“He left early this morning.” Derek says. 

“He did?” 

“Yeah, you didn’t know?”

“No, he didn’t tell me.” 

“Okay, spill it out! What happened last night?” Derek says, sensing something happened last night that caused Josh to leave suddenly. 

“Can you let me have my coffee first?” Karlie says then takes a sip of her coffee.

“So what happened?”

“I was so stupid. I went crazy for a minute. I don’t know what got into me.” Karlie says. 

“Oh my god! You and Josh?”

“No, no, we didn’t. We made out but we didn’t…Ugh, I feel so embarrassed.” Karlie says as her cheeks turn red. 

“Wow. I didn’t see that coming.”

“I know. I know. I was so stupid. Where were you last night? Why did you let it happen?”

“Haha so it’s my fault.”

“Yeah, kinda.” 

“Seriously, what else happened?” Derek asks.

“Apparently Taylor called.”

“What?!”

“Yes. But I didn’t get to talk to her ‘cause I was in the bathroom when she called.” Karlie says taking another sip of her coffee. 

“He answered the call?”

Karlie nods. 

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know… But I guess he felt guilty ‘cause he immediately told me about it… He was actually kinda nice about the whole thing.”

“Wow. Thank your for this juicy information. This is giving me life this morning.” Derek says with a playful smile on his face. 

“Well, I’m glad you are entertained, albeit at my expense.” 

“So wait, did you call her back?” 

“No… I almost did. That’s why I turned off my phone last night...to stop me from calling her.” Karlie says. 

“Ah self-control. I’m proud of you.” Derek says then laughs. 

Their conversation is interrupted by a message alert from Karlie’s phone. She reads the message. 

Hey. I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly. Have fun and enjoy the rest of your vacation. Happy New Year.

“It’s Josh.” Karlie tells Derek.

“Poor guy.”

“I feel awful. Derek, am I such a horrible person?” Karlie asks.

“Of course not! You’re the kindest human being I know.”

“I feel bad for Josh... and now I feel guilty too”

“Guilty?”

“I feel like I cheated on Taylor.” Karlie says. 

“Um, hello! Let me just remind you that you guys are not together anymore.”

“I know but still... It feels wrong.” 

“You guys have broken up! Oh my god, this sounds like that Rachel and Ross thing on Friends.”

Karlie laughs. 

“There, I’m glad I made you laugh.”

“That’s her favorite show, you know.” Karlie says, smiling at the thought of Taylor. 

“No! Don’t think about her! You need to be strong.”

“I really messed up.” Karlie says. 

“Don’t be hard on yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Derek says, making an attempt to comfort his friend. “So wait, you didn’t call Taylor? What does it mean? Are you officially over her?” 

“No. I’m not over her…I just need to maintain this distance between us.”

“Well, getting over someone is a long process.  But you’ll get there.”

“Yeah. I hope so.”

 ***

New York. Taylor’s apartment. January 4th.

Taylor is in the living room, sitting by the piano with an open bottle of wine. She’s staring blankly at the keyboard when her mom enters the room. Andrea has decided to stay in New York for a few days after ringing in the New Year. She’s worried about her daughter and wants to make sure she’s okay.

“Something’s on your mind.” Andrea says.

“Mom!” Taylor says, almost jumping from her seat.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Why are you still awake?” Taylor says, surprised to see her mom this late in the evening.

“I couldn’t sleep… And it looks like I’m not the only one. What’s going through your mind?” Andrea asks. 

“Nothing, mom. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. You should go back to bed.” Taylor says. 

“It’s Karlie, isn’t it?” Andrea says. 

“What? No… Why would you think that?”

“Because you’re my daughter and I know you.”

Taylor looks at her mom and without any warning suddenly begins to cry.

“Oh honey… It’s okay. It’s okay.” Andrea says as she hugs her daughter.

“I don’t know what to do, mom. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about her… I thought I can but I can’t…. I feel so lost without her.” Taylor says as she continues to cry in her mother’s arms.

“Shh… Let it out. It’s okay. I’m here.” Andrea says holding her daughter tightly. Taylor continues to cry.

“Now that I’m older, I’ve realized more than ever that everything is temporary.” Andrea says as she holds Taylor. “And that things can be taken away from you in an instant… I know you worry. You worry about your career, your fans, what other people will say. What you don’t realize is that when you worry about other people’s happiness, you lose your own. Honey, you have to do what makes you happy… Don’t let fear torment you. Don’t let doubt be a hindrance. While you worry about other people’s opinion,  time is slipping away from you. Precious time that you should be spending with the person that you love the most. You have to follow your heart. That’s the only way to live. Life is too short.”

“I know mom but…”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“And do you see yourself growing old with her?”

Taylor nods.

“Then you have your answer. Everything else shouldn’t matter. What you have with Karlie is something rare. I’ve seen so many relationships in the past and I know yours is special. Not that my opinion should matter but I like Karlie. I see the bliss in your eyes when you’re with her. No one else can make you happy the way she can. Don’t deprive yourself of true happiness… of true love. I know I am biased but you are the most wonderful person in this world and you deserve to love and be loved.”

“Mom...” Taylor hugs her mom tightly. “Thank you so much.” 

Taylor wipes her tears, slowly pulling herself together. 

Suddenly, it all becomes clear to her. She loves Karlie and she can’t imagine spending the rest of her life with anyone else but her. The words of her mom only reinforce what she knew all along. Karlie is the one.  

“What time is it?” Taylor asks her mom. 

“It’s almost midnight.” Andrea says. 

After the phone call with Josh, Taylor immediately sends a text message to Martha.

Are you still awake? Can I call you?

Seconds later, Taylor’s phone is ringing.

“Hey Tay! Everything okay?”

“Hi Martha… I’m sorry, I know it’s late. I just don’t know who else to talk to.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m still very much awake. What’s going on?”

“Do you know where Karlie is?”

“She’s in Peru with Derek.”

“Oh!”

“Looks like someone hasn’t checked her social media in a while.” Martha teases her. 

“No, actually, I haven’t… Been trying to stay away from it all.”

“I thought so. Yeah, she’s been there for a couple of days now. I think she’ll be spending New Year’s there.”

“And Josh is there with her?” Taylor asks.

“Yes, Josh is there too. Why? Is there a problem?”

“No, nothing…” Taylor says. She thinks for a second whether to open up about what just happened but hesitates. Martha, however, could sense that something’s bothering her friend.

“Tay? What’s going on? Come on, tell me. Something’s obviously on your mind.”

Taylor lets our a big sigh and finally tells Martha what happened.

“I called her a few minutes ago and um, Josh answered the phone… Her phone.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, isn’t that weird?”

“Hmm, yeah that is a little weird. So what did he say? Where was Karlie?”

“She’s in the bathroom apparently…”

“Oh, there you go.”

“But then he asked me to call back tomorrow. Like I interrupted something and he was trying to get rid of me.”

Martha laughs on the other line. But then realizes Taylor is actually serious.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Tay. I just find it funny. Look, I wouldn’t put too much meaning into it if I were you. I mean, what could they possibly been doing? It’s Josh we’re talking about here.” Martha says, trying to reassure Taylor.

“I know. I know... But still they had history.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Tay.”

“Or maybe she just didn’t want to talk to me and she asked Josh to answer the phone so she didn’t have to deal with me.” Taylor says.

“Aww, Tay. Karlie would never do that.”

“I know but she hates me right now.”

“Don’t be silly, she doesn’t hate you… But why did you call her?”

Taylor doesn’t know how to respond. She called for no reason except for the fact that she misses Karlie so much.

“You miss her.” Martha answers for her.  

“Yes, I do. I miss her so much, Martha. It’s killing me! And this is the fucking first time I actually had the courage to call her and this happened... Maybe it’s a sign.”

“Tay, it’s not a sign. Don’t believe in that bullshit. Look, just call her back tomorrow and talk to her. I hate seeing you guys like this.”

“It’s a sign from the universe.”

“Taylor! Don’t believe in that non-sense. Just call her back tomorrow. It’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t know… Well, thanks for calling me.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“Well, call me if you need anything, okay? I’m always here for you.”

“I know you are.”

“Love you.”

“Love you. Good night, Martha.”

“Good night, Tay!”

***

Peru.

Karlie finally steps out of the bathroom after a few minutes. She sees Josh standing across the room. She walks towards him and kisses him. He kisses her back. Karlie takes off his shirt and pulls him in bed. They continue to kiss each other on the lips when suddenly Josh pulls away.

“Wait, I need to tell you something.” Josh says as he tries to sit up.  

“Is there a problem?” Karlie asks, confused.

“Taylor called… while you were in the bathroom.”

“What?”

“I want to do the right thing here, Karlie. I don’t want you to do something that you’ll regret. I know you had a few drinks and I don’t want to take advantage of that…I don’t know what’s going on between you and Taylor but I’m a gentleman and uh, I want to do the right thing.”

“Shit.” Karlie says under her breath.

“What a mood breaker, huh?” Josh says nervously.  

“Josh… I’m so sorry.” Karlie says and she is.

“Don’t be. It’s fine… No big deal.”

“It’s been a roller coaster few weeks… Taylor and I are not together anymore.”

“I figured... Look, you don’t have to feel sorry. It’s all good.”

“I feel really bad. I’m sorry, Josh.” Karlie says with a sad look on her face. 

“It’s okay really...” Josh gets up and grabs his shirt on the floor. “So, um… well, I guess, I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow.” Josh says, feeling awkward about the whole situation.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow... Thank you, Josh.” Karlie says. 

Josh gives her a kiss on the forehead. “Good night, Karlie.”

“Good night, Josh….” 

Josh gives her a sincere smile and leaves the room.

Karlie immediately looks for her phone and checks the most recent registered call. It is indeed Taylor.

Should I call her back? She thinks for a moment. There’s nothing she wants more now than to hear Taylor’s voice but she knows she needs to be strong. She promised herself that she will try to move on. She was doing so well. She can’t be weak now. If she calls her, she knows she’ll feel desperate again and will overlook all the reasons why they broke up. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Karlie tells herself, wiping tears from her eyes.

***

Taylor opens her eyes slowly. It takes her a moment to realize that she’s not alone in her room. Martha is sleeping soundly next to her. She looks up and sees Gigi standing in the middle of the room, talking softly on her phone.

“Gi?” Taylor says as she sits up.

“Tay, good morning! I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?” Gigi asks.

“No, no, you didn’t.”

“Hey babe, I’ll call you back, okay? Love you.” Gigi says before hanging up the phone. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Taylor asks. Gigi walks towards the bed and sits beside her.

“You got really drunk last night. We were worried about you. We wanted to make sure you’re okay so we stayed here.”

“That’s very sweet of you. Thank you. Appreciate it a lot.”

“How are you feeling now?” Gigi asks. 

“My head hurts.”

“You threw up several times last night.” 

“I did?”

Gigi nods.

“Do you remember anything at all?” Gigi asks. Taylor shakes her head. 

But she does remember. Some of it. She’s just too embarrassed to admit it. 

“Do you remember the phone call with Karlie?” Gigi asks. 

“Oh, so that really happened.. I thought that was just a dream. I remember talking to her on the phone but I can’t remember the conversation.” Taylor says and this time she’s telling the truth. She remembers yelling on the phone but couldn’t remember why. 

“What’s the deal between you two? You were really angry last night and she was very upset.” 

“It’s over, Gi… And it’s my fault. I pushed her away.” Taylor says softly. 

“Oh Tay, I’m sorry.” Gigi says and gives Taylor a hug. “Maybe you you can still work it out.” 

“I don’t know… I think she hates me now.” Taylor says, feeling sad all over again. 

**

Peru. Night before New Year’s Eve.

Karlie is hanging out with Derek in the hotel bar. She’s been drinking all night, trying to have fun. Josh is standing across the room talking to some of their friends.  

“Josh looks very cute tonight.” Karlie tells Derek.

“What? I can’t hear you!” Derek says. Music is playing so loud, making it difficult for them to hear each other.

“I said Josh looks very cute tonight!” Karlie shouts in Derek’s ear.

“Ouch!” Derek says, covering his ear. Karlie laughs. Derek looks at Josh across the room. 

“Yeah, he’s not so bad… Still not my type though.” Derek says and they both laugh.

Josh looks at Karlie’s direction. Karlie waves and smiles at him. Josh excuses himself and walks towards Karlie and Derek’s table. 

“Hey! What is going on?” Josh asks.

“Nothing. I was telling Derek you look cute tonight.” Karlie says. Derek, overhearing this, rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He knows Karlie’s already slightly drunk.

“Are you flirting with me, Miss Karlie Kloss?” Josh asks cheekily.

“I might.” Karlie says and gives a playful smile. “Oh, I love this song! Come on, let’s dance!” Karlie says before grabbing Josh’s hand, leading him to the dance floor.

Karlie starts bouncing to the beat of the music. Josh, feeling shy, is keeping his movements simple. Karlie laughs at him.

“Loosen up, Josh!” Karlie says and pulls him closer.  They dance and laugh together all night.

***

“This is me.” Karlie says as they reach her room.

“Great. Well, have a good night.” Josh says and leans forwards to kiss Karlie on the cheek.

“I had a great time.” Karlie says. They look at each other for a moment. Josh leans forward again to kiss her. This time on the lips. 

“I’m sorry.” Josh says, afraid that he might have offended Karlie. 

Karlie smiles. “Do you want to come in?” She asks. 

“Yes.” Josh replies. 

As soon as they enter the room, Karlie starts kissing Josh on the lips. He kisses her back and pulls her closer. They kiss wildly.

Karlie then pulls away.

“Can you give me a minute? I just need to go to the bathroom.” Karlie says.

“Of course.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

***

New York. 

Taylor couldn’t sleep. She’s been tossing and turning for hours. She hasn’t spoken with Karlie or heard from her in weeks. Not even during Christmas. And it’s driving her crazy. It’s almost New Year’s Eve and she wants to hear her voice. Ask her how she’s doing. Tell her she’s sorry. There have been moments these past weeks where she almost picked up the phone but, as always, her pride gets in the way. 

“Should I call her, Dibbles?” Taylor asks Olivia, who’s lying beside her. Olivia meows softly.

“I should? But what if she refuses to talk to me?” 

Olivia meows again.

“You’re right. I should call her. I can’t let this year end without hearing her voice. I need to talk to her... Okay, I’ll call her.” 

Taylor grabs her phone and dials Karlie’s number.

“Why is she not answering?” She says as she nervously waits for Karlie to pick up the phone. Finally, someone answers.

“Hello?”

“Uh... hello?” Taylor is surprised to hear a man’s voice on the other line. And it’s a familiar voice too.

“Hi Taylor. It’s Josh.”

“Hi Josh, um, is Karlie there?” Taylor asks. 

This is not what she expected and she is not prepared for this.

“Yeah, she’s actually in the bathroom right now. Do you want her to call you back?”

What the fuck are you doing there with Karlie at this hour?! Taylor screams in her head.

“No, no, that’s fine. I’ll just call back. I mean, it’s not urgent.” Taylor says.

“Oh okay. Um, hey, is it okay if you maybe just call her back tomorrow? I mean, only if it’s not urgent.” 

“Yeah, of course... Of course. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.” Taylor says. 

“No worries. Thanks. Bye.” Josh says and hangs up.

“Bye.” 

At that moment, her heart sinks and a feeling of overwhelming jealousy engulfs her whole body. 

Few days have passed since Taylor’s birthday. Gigi and Martha decided to come over to spend some time with their friend. It was Gigi’s idea. She has been travelling a lot and hasn’t seen Taylor in quite a long time. 

“Uh, Tay, did you invite other people?” Martha asks after seeing multiple dishes served on the dining table.

“No, it’s just the three of us.” Taylor says.

“Oh! Aren’t these a little too much for three people?” Martha asks.

Gigi gently nudges Martha with her elbow.  

“No, this is just perfect, Tay. We’re starving! Aren’t we, Martha?” Gigi says, giving Martha a look. 

“Oh totally! I skipped breakfast and lunch for this!” Martha says. 

“Great! Let’s have dinner then!” Taylor says, excitedly.

 ***

They spent dinner catching up on things. Gigi and Martha managed to avoid mentioning Karlie in their conversations to avoid upsetting Taylor. Even though they have no idea what’s going on, they can sense that Taylor and Karlie are not exactly on the best of terms. 

“Thanks for cooking dinner, Tay.” Gigi says.

“Yeah, food’s great as always!” Martha says.

“My pleasure! So are you ready for desserts?”

“You made desserts?” Martha asks. She’s so stuffed she doesn’t think she can eat another bite.

“Of course! A meal is not complete without desserts! Wait here, I’ll be back.” Taylor says.

“Do you need help?” Gigi asks.

“No, I got it.” 

Taylor gets up and heads for the kitchen.

“Martha, what is going on with Taylor?” Gigi asks as soon as Taylor has left the dining room.  

“I don’t know. She’s acting a little weird.” Martha says.

“Have you talked to Karlie?” Gigi asks.

“No, not recently... How did she find time to cook all these and still managed to make desserts?” Martha wonders.

“I think something’s up.”

“Yeah, something’s definitely up. Gi, I’m stuffed! I don’t have room left for dessert!”  

Taylor reappears holding a round of chocolate cake.

“Aww, Tay, that looks so pretty.” Gigi says.

“Thanks! Don’t worry guys this is gluten-free.” Taylor says. “Who wants a piece of cake?”

“I’ll have one!” Gigi says. Taylor cuts a slice for her.

“How about you, Martha?” Taylor asks.

“Uh—“

“She’ll have one, too.” Gigi says not giving Martha a chance to refuse.

“Here you go.” Taylor says, giving Martha a slice of chocolate cake.

“Mmm, this is delish, Tay. So good!” Gigi says.

“Glad you like it.”

“So what are we doing after dinner?” Gigi asks.

“I’m thinking maybe we can play Scrabble.” Taylor says.

“Scrabble?” Martha asks. She hates playing Scrabble with Taylor. They never win against her. 

"You don’t want to play?” Taylor asks. 

“I do! I want to play!” Gigi says.

“Okay, fine. I’ll play too!” Martha says.

“Great! It’s settled then.”

 ***

The girls are playing Scrabble in the living room. They’re also drinking wine. And as with anything that involves alcohol, they are doing more talking than actually playing the game. Gigi has Olivia on her lap while Meredith is sitting on the cat pillow on the floor, giving them bored looks.

“Meredith has never warmed up to me. I don’t understand why she hates me so much.” Gigi says.

“Oh, Meredith loves me. Here, look.” Martha says as she tries to carry Meredith. “See, I’m the only one she likes.”

“Show off!” Gigi says.

Taylor ignores both of them. She’s taking her Scrabble seriously. She places a word on the board. The word is shine.

“Martha, your turn!” Taylor says.

“My turn already? Wait.” She puts Meredith on the couch. “Oh, I have a good one.” She adds S-U-N to Taylor’s previous word. “Sunshine!”

“That’s only 11 points, Martha. Don’t get too excited!” Gigi says.

“Yeah, but it reads sunshine! It reminds me of Karlie.” Martha says and laughs.

Suddenly everyone goes quiet.

“Oops.” Martha says, realizing she just put her foot in her mouth.

“Okay, my turn.” Gigi says, trying to break the sudden awkward silence. 

Gigi notices that Taylor’s mood has changed.

“Are you okay, Tay?” Gigi asks. “Tay?”

“Huh?” Taylor asks absentmindedly.

“Are you okay?” Gigi asks again.

“Okay? I’m doing great! I’m winning, ain’t I?” Taylor says laughing. She then drinks her wine and empties the glass. “I need a refill.”

They spend the rest of the night, drinking and laughing in between stories. Taylor has drunk more alcohol than her two friends, who are purposely trying to stay sober to keep an eye on their friend. They both sense that something’s wrong but neither wants to ask the singer.

“Can you try to call Karlie and see what’s going on?” Gigi whispers to Martha taking advantage of the moment that Taylor is not looking at them.

“Okay.” Martha says as she gets up from the couch. “Hey Tay, I just need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

 ***

“Hello?”

“Karlie!”

“Hi Martha! What’s going on?”

“I should be asking you that question, Kloss.” Martha says.

“What are you talking about?”

“What did you do to Taylor?”

“What did I do?” Karlie asks, confused.

“Did something happen in London?”

“Wait, what is this all about? Why are you attacking me? Where are you? Why are you whispering?” Karlie asks. 

“I’m at Taylor’s.”

“New York?”

“Yes. I’m in her bathroom.” Martha says, trying to speak in a low voice. 

“Oh...”

“So are you going to tell me what happened?” Martha asks.

“What did she tell you?”

“She hasn’t said anything which is kinda scary.”

“How is she, by the way?” Karlie asks.

“A fucking mess, Kloss. She’s acting so weird. She’s getting drunk as we speak. We’re really worried.”

“We?”

“Yeah, Gigi is here too. Come on, tell me what happened in London.” Martha says. 

“It’s a long story, Martha...But It’s over between us. We’re done.”

“What do you mean you’re done? I thought you’re going to fix this?”

“Martha, look, I tried, okay? I fucking tried. This is what she wants.”

“So you just gave up?”

“Martha, you weren’t there. I didn’t give up. She did.” Karlie says, getting a little impatient. 

“Yes, but you kinda did too. Otherwise, you’d still be fighting for your relationship.” Martha says. Karlie stays silent for a moment. There’s some truth to what Martha said but she doesn’t want to allow Martha to make her feel guilty again.

“I don’t need this conversation right now, Martha. I’m trying to move on.” Karlie finally says.

“Trying to move on? Who are you and what did you do to my friend Karlie? The Karlie I know will not give up on love.” Martha says.

“People change. I tried. I really did… But I’m tired now. I’m tired of chasing after her.”

“You disappoint me, Kloss. You really do.”

“Don’t blame me! This is all her idea... She said she just wants us to be friends.”

“Friends? Are you kidding me? You’re the best couple I know.”

“Look, I did my part. She doesn’t want a relationship with me. There’s nothing I can do about it... You should talk to her instead, not me because I didn’t end this relationship.”

“Ugh, I’m so mad at you both!” Martha says.

“Martha, just take care of her please because I obviously can’t do that anymore.” Karlie says. She suddenly becomes emotional after saying those words.”I’m glad you and Gi are there with her right now. I really am.” 

“I’m glad we’re here, too. She really needs some company right now. She’s a mess, Karls.” 

“I just want her to be okay.”

“We all want her to be okay... And we want you to be okay too. How are you holding up?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” Karlie says.

“Martha!!!” Taylor yells, knocking at the bathroom door.

“Shit. It’s Taylor.” Martha says.

“Martha!!!  Taylor yells again.

“Tay, hey, you can use the other bathroom.” Gigi tells her.

“But I want to use this one.” Taylor says, obviously very drunk.

Martha finally opens the door.

“Tay!”

“I need to pee.” Taylor says as she walks in the bathroom. Gigi follows her inside.

“Are you talking to someone on the phone? I think I heard you talking to someone.” Taylor says, slurring her words. 

“No… Well yes.” Martha says.  

“Who is it?” Taylor asks.

“No one.” Martha is so bad at lying even a drunk Taylor can tell. 

“Actually, yes, I have Karlie on the phone.” Martha confesses. 

“Shit.” Gigi says under her breath.

“Karlie? You mean my Karlie? Is she still on the line?” Taylor says.

“Um, well…” Martha stutters.

“Let me talk to her.” Taylor says and grabs the phone from Martha.

“Hello?” Taylor says. Karlie couldn’t immediately respond. She is shocked to hear Taylor’s voice on the other line. 

“Hello? Karlie?” 

“Hi Tay.” Karlie finally says. 

“Karlie? Is that you?” Taylor says, almost shouting. 

“Yeah, it’s me. How are you?”

“Why haven’t you called?” Taylor asks.

“Um, I’ve been really busy lately. Taylor, are you drunk?”

“No, I’m not drunk... I’m heartbroken but I’m not drunk.”

“Tay, why don’t we go back to our game?” Gigi says.

“No, no, I want to talk to Karlie. So why didn’t call on my birthday? Tell me.” Taylor asks as she sits on the bathroom floor.

“Tay, I think you’re drunk.” Karlie says.

“I told you I’m not drunk... I am not drunk, Karlie! You still haven’t answered my question. Why didn’t you call on my birthday? I waited all day. Everyone called. Everyone but you.” Taylor says, slurring her words.

“Tay…” Karlie says, struggling to respond.  

“If you were trying to make me feel like shit on my birthday, congratulations you succeeded!”

“Taylor, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. Jesus, you’re obviously drunk!”

“I’m not drunk! You’re not listening to me, Karlie. Gi, tell her I’m not drunk.” Taylor says, looking up at Gigi.

“Tay, I think you need to rest. It’s been a long day. Say goodbye to Karlie and we’ll call it a night. How’s that sound?” Gigi says.

“See, Gi and Martha are sleeping over tonight. They know I’m going through shit right now and they’re here for me” Taylor says, fumbling her words.”They will always have my back. Always. They’ll never leave me… unlike you.” 

Karlie remains quiet on the other line. She can’t help but cry upon hearing those words.

“You said you’ll never leave me but you did. And I hate you!” Taylor continues. 

“You wanted this, Taylor. You’re the one who gave up on us. Not me.” Karlie answers back.

“You gave up on me!” Taylor says, angrily.

“What else do you want me to do? I tried, didn’t I?”

“You promised! You promised you won’t leave me but you did anyway! You didn’t even call on my birthday. I hate you!” Taylor says, screaming on the phone. 

“Tay, come on. Give me the phone. It’s time to go to bed.” Gigi says, gently taking the phone away from Taylor. 

“Hey, Karls, sorry. Need to go now. I’ll call you later, okay? Bye.” Gigi says before hanging up.

Taylor starts sobbing. 

“Did she hang up?” Taylor asks.

“Tay, come on. It’s getting late. Let’s go to bed.” Gigi says.

“I don’t hate her, Gi. Tell her I don’t hate her.” Taylor says, crying.

“Tay, she knows you don’t hate her.” Martha says as she kneels beside her. 

“No, but I need to tell her. I told her I hate her but I really don’t… I just miss her. Please tell her I miss her.” Taylor says, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Oh Tay.” Gigi says.

Martha and Gigi wrap their arms around their friend, as they cry with her. 

“Well, good morning to you too, Tree.” Taylor says sarcastically as she holds the door open. Tree enters the room and closes the door behind her.

“It’s almost 1 in the afternoon. You need to change.”

“I’m not feeling well.” Taylor says.

“Taylor, I’m sorry to hear that. I really am. But you need to pull yourself together. You have a show tonight!”

“I need coffee.”

“You need to eat something! What happened last night?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, but here’s something we need to talk about. We need to talk about your show tonight. Joe will be there.”

“Ugh.” Taylor says in disgust.

“Where are you going?” Tree asks as Taylor starts walking away from her.

“I’m going back to bed.”

“Taylor, it’s 1 in the afternoon!”

Tree follows her to the bedroom.

“Go away, Tree. I’m going back to sleep.” Taylor says as she tucks herself into bed.  

“Taylor, I know you’re not in the mood but you need to take this seriously. Just listen to me, okay?” Tree says as she sits on the bed.

“So Joe will be in the audience during your performance.”

Taylor rolls her eyes. Tree ignores it.

“And then you have to hang out with him after.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously, Taylor.”

“I just want to perform and go home.”

“You haven’t seen together in a long time. People are wondering.” Tree explains. 

“Let them wonder.” Taylor says indifferently.

“Taylor please—“

“I really need coffee!” Taylor says, her eyes closed. She slowly massages her temples with her fingers.

“Do you want me to come back when you’re ready to take me seriously?” Tree says. She knows Taylor had a bad night and she wants to be empathetic but she also has a job to do and she feels that Taylor is not giving her the attention that she deserves.

Taylor, being the consummate professional that she is, realizes that she’s being unfair to her publicist for acting immaturely and immediately apologizes.  

“I’m sorry, Tree… I’m sorry. Go on. Tell me about your plan.”

“So I was thinking maybe we’ll have Joe in the audience and he can film you while you perform.Get the picture? I think fans will love that. And you also need to display some PDA.. Maybe during Ed’s set?”

“The ideas that you come up with, Tree!” Taylor says, shaking her head.

“I know you don’t like it but you know how it goes.”

“Did mom say anything to you last night?” Taylor says, changing the topic.

“No. She was pretty quiet when she came back. I’m really sorry about that, Taylor. She was so fast. I just excused myself for a couple of minutes to take a phone call and when I came back she was gone.”

“That’s fine. It’s my fault. I should have just told her.”

“How are you, by the way?” Tree asks, genuinely concerned about the singer.  

“I’m okay.”

“You don’t look okay.”

“Well, I am… I’ll be fine.” Taylor says softly.

“What happened with Karlie?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay but if there’s anything I need to know, as your publicist, you need to tell me, Taylor. We talked about this.”

“Well, you can relax now, Tree. We’re not back together if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I’m sorry… I really am.” Tree says sincerely. 

“Yeah… It’s for the best, I guess. Anyway, just tell me what I need to do. I’ll do whatever you want. Let’s put on a show.”

**** 

Karlie looks outside the window of the airplane, lost in deep thoughts. The plane just took off.

“Hey, are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet.” Josh says.

“I’m sorry. I don’t feel very well.” Karlie says. She’s wearing sunglasses to hide her swollen eyes.

“Does this have something to do with your date last night?” Josh asks.

“It wasn’t a date, Josh.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really. But thank you.” Karlie says, pleased to hear the genuine concern on Josh’s voice.

“Okay. I’ll leave you and your thoughts alone.” Josh says and closes his eyes to sleep.

Karlie, who’s still quite lost in her thoughts as she looks outside the window again, tries to replay the event of the previous night in her head. They are over. That’s for sure. As the realization hits her, tears begin to slowly roll down her face. It’s all beginning to sink in and her heart is broken. 

***

New York. A few days after. Karlie is having breakfast with her friend, Derek.

“Isn’t today Taylor’s birthday?” Derek asks.

“Yeah, it is.”

“So are you planning to call and greet her?”

“I don’t know… Maybe.” Karlie says.

“What’s up with you? You look all out of sorts.” Derek says, taking a bite from his sandwich. 

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Did something happen in London that you’re not telling me about?”

Karlie ignores the question and takes a sip of her coffee.

“Oh my! Something did happen! What’s going on?” Derek asks.

“Nothing.” Karlie says, not looking at her friend.

“There is something! I know you, Karlie. Come on, tell me!”

Karlie takes a deep breath. Thinks about it for a second and finally realizes that she needs to talk to someone about what happened. Otherwise, she might just explode if she continues to bottle up her emotions.  

“Okay, fine. I’ll tell you.” 

Karlie starts telling Derek in detail about what happened between her and Taylor in London. From the exchange of text messages to them making out to Andrea finding out and finally to them agreeing to simply remain friends.

“Shit.” Derek says after Karlie is done telling the story.  

“Shit? That’s all you’re going to say?” Karlie says.

“I need a minute to process it.” Derek pretends to take a moment. Karlie can only shake her head.

“Poor you! Come here, let me give you a hug.” Derek finally says as she tries to give Karlie a hug.

“Derek, you’re being so dramatic!” Karlie says pushing Derek away.

“You must have been so devastated!” Derek says.

“Yes, I was… I still am.” Karlie says, starting to feel emotional.

“Aww… You know I love Taylor but I love you more and I hate her for doing this to you.”

“It’s okay, Derek. You don’t have to hate her. I understand why she’s doing it. I know it’s hard for her, too. Plus, I agree to it. So it’s our decision.” 

“No it’s not your decision! She made the decision for both of you. How can you stay so calm about it? She dumped you twice!”

“Wow. Thanks a lot for reminding me, Derek!”

“God, I don’t think I can handle being friends with my ex, especially if I still have feelings for that person. This is a mess.”

“Well, I mean, what’s the alternative? Not have her in my life completely?” Karlie says. She pauses before adding, “I know she breaks my heart again and again but I still love her… I can’t unlove her just because…”

“You’re a saint! That’s all I’m going to say.” 

“We’ve agreed to remain friends. So I’ll try to be a good friend.”

“Karlie, it’s not going to work. I’m telling you now. You can’t be friends with your ex! You’ll never move on!” Derek tells her.

“I know some ex couples who managed to remain friends.”

“Really? Name one.” Derek says, challenging his friend. 

“I’m sure there are a few.” Karlie says as she struggles to come up with names.

“Look, even if there are, I’m sure they hated each other first and became friends only like 20 years later.” Derek says.

“Why are you being so negative?”

“I’m not! I’m just being realistic… Oh God, I have a brilliant idea!”

“What?”

“Come to Peru with me!” Derek says excitedly.

“Peru?”

“It’s in South America.”

“I know where Peru is, silly!”

“You need to join me in Peru and celebrate the New Year there! You need to go out, party, drink, meet new people and do all crazy things! Seriously, you need to get your mind off Taylor.”

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

How can I possibly get Taylor off my mind? That’s impossible.

“Okay, think about it. I’m going to email you the details. Hold on.”

Derek opens his phone and forwards the travel details to Karlie. “Sent!”

“That was quick!”

“I want you to see it asap!”

“I’ll check it later.”

“Okay, fine!” Derek says. He checks his phone again and this time he scrolls through his Twitter feed.  One post catches his attention.

“Oh my gosh! Have you seen this?”

“Seen what?” Karlie asks.

“Taylor Swift and BF Joe Alwyn Show Major PDA During Ed Sheeran’s Performance.” Derek reads the headline.

Karlie laughs. Derek looks at her.

“You know that’s a stunt, right?” Karlie says. 

“I don’t know, girl. They look very coupley to me.”

“They do not! Let me see that.” Karlie says and grabs the phone from Derek.

Karlie reads the article. She remembers how Taylor reassured her in London and told her not get jealous of “some guy I barely know.” But the picture of the two of them together, his arm around her, makes her feel extremely jealous. She know it’s an irrational jealousy but she can’t help it.

“Here.” Karlie gives the phone back to her friend.

“Are you okay?” Derek asks Karlie, who suddenly goes quiet.

“Of course.”

“Sure?”

“I’m fine, Derek. We’re just friends. She can do whatever she wants. And I can do whatever I want.” Karlie says, a bit annoyed. “You know what? I’ll go to Peru with you.”

“Are you being serious?” Derek asks, clearly surprised.

“Yes, I am.”

“Really? Oh my God!” Derek gets up from his seat and gives Karlie a big hug. “I’m so excited! Aaahh! It’s going to be so much fun! I promise! Let’s book your flight!”

“Stop, Derek! You’re making a scene!” Karlie says, laughing.

“I don’t care!” Derek says, laughing with her. “It’s going to be fun!” 

Derek eventually goes back to his seat and finishes his sandwich. 

Karlie suddenly comes up with an idea.

“Maybe I should ask Josh if he wants to join us in Peru?” 

“The idea is to have fun, Karlie. Why would you bring Josh along?” Derek says.

“Because he’s my boyfriend.”

Derek laughs. “Pseudo boyfriend. But okay, do what you want. Invite Josh. That may not be a bad idea.”

“Okay, I’ll ask him.”

***

Rhode Island. Taylor just had dinner with her family to celebrate her birthday. She and Austin are in the kitchen doing the dishes.

“Are you okay?” Austin asks.

“I am. Why does everybody keep asking me that question? Jeez!” Taylor says, mildly irritated.

“Because you don’t look okay, that’s why. Is this about Karlie?”

No response from Taylor.

“Has she called? Did she greet you a happy birthday?” Austin asks.

“No.”

“Text?”

Taylor shakes her head.

“Oh wow. Nothing, huh?”

“For whatever it’s worth, she did post something on Instagram.” 

“There you go.” Austin says.

“But that’s not the same as calling, Austin.” Taylor says, visibly disappointed.   

They remain quiet for a moment. The younger brother finally breaks the silence.  

“Did something happen between you two? Wasn’t she in London about the same time as you were?”

“How did you know that?” Taylor asks, looking at her brother.

“I know stuff, Taffy. Far more than you think.” Austin says with a grin on his face.

“Yes, she was in London… And we broke up.”

“Whoa, hold on. Weren’t you broken up in the first place? I don’t understand.” Austin asked, confused.

“Yeah, the first time that we broke up, it was kind of up in the air. It wasn’t clear. We didn’t really talk. Nothing was settled. This time, it was different. We had a mutual agreement. We decided to just stay friends.” Taylor says and lets out a big sigh.

“How’s that going for you?”

“Not so good… Friends call you on your birthday, don’t they?”

“Yeah, I suppose… Hey, it’s only 8pm.” Austin says, making a weak attempt to reassure his sister.  

“I can’t believe she’s going to let my birthday pass without calling.” Taylor says, as she starts to feel extremely sad about the whole situation. “She said we’re going to be friends.”

“Taffy, you know people say things they don’t really mean.”

“I know but this is Karlie we’re talking about. She says things and means them.”

“Yeah I know but…”

“But what?”

“Look, even if she says she wants to be friends maybe she’s not ready for that. Maybe she’s still hurting, you know. Give her some time… God, why am I giving you relationship advice?” Austin says with a nervous laugh.

Taylor remains quiet.

“Taffy? Hey, you okay?” Austin asks, obviously worried about his older sister.

“Austin, I think I might have just lost the love of my life…What if this is really it? It’s all my fault.” Taylor says. 

“Hey, don’t cry.” Austin gives her a hug. “Shh, it’s going to be okay.”

“This is the worst birthday ever.” Taylor says as she continues to cry in muffled sobs. 

If You Forget Me By Pablo Neruda Read by Madonna

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land.

But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine.

“Karlie, say something please.” 

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know… Just say something.” Taylor says, almost pleading.

“Is ‘I love you’ enough? Will that change anything?” Karlie says, looking at Taylor. Taylor looks back at her without saying a word. Her silence speaks volumes and Karlie understands what it means. She looks away from Taylor’s gaze as tears start streaming down her face.

“Karlie, please don’t cry.” Taylor says as she tries so hard to hold back her own tears. She can’t break down. Not when Karlie’s like this. She feels like she needs to be strong for both of them.

“Well, it’s kinda too late for that now, isn’t it?” Karlie says as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

“I hope that you know that I’m not doing this because I don’t love you...” Taylor says. “Because I do.”

Karlie cries even more upon hearing those words. Her head in is her hands, her elbows on her knees, her hair covering her beautiful face. Taylor’s heart grows heavy at the sight of Karlie sobbing like a child.  

“Then why are you doing this, Taylor?” Karlie finally says with a gloomy look on her face. “Tell me. Why are you doing this? Come on, this can’t be it. You can’t give up just like that.”

“This isn’t going to work.” Taylor says.

“Yes, we can make it work. We can at least try...Taylor, please. Please.” She then kisses Taylor on the lips. Taylor, unable to control herself, moves her lips and reciprocates Karlie’s kiss. They kiss passionately for a few seconds. Karlie tries to pull Taylor closer as she deepens the kiss but Taylor manages to muster enough self-control to pull away.

“Karlie, no. Stop.” They stop kissing but not letting go of each other. Their foreheads touching. Karlie’s hands on Taylor’s waist. Taylor’s arms around Karlie’s neck.

“I want you. I want you more than anything.” Taylor says breathing heavily. “But we can’t keep making out and hope that everything will be okay after. We need to stop pretending that it’s going to be okay… because it’s not.” Taylor says.

Karlie frees herself from Taylor’s embrace. They stay silent for a moment.

“I want to be able to go out and grab breakfast with you like a normal person and hold your hand under the table.” Taylor says, smiling as she pictures the image in her head. “I want to visit you in your photoshoots and bring you lunch. I want you as my plus one when I attend my friends’ weddings.” Karlie cries silently as she listens to Taylor. “I want to be able to watch concerts with you, dance with you, kiss you… and just go crazy with you.” Suddenly the smile on Taylor’s face disappears. “But I can’t really do that. We can’t really do that, can we?”

“Actually we can, you know?” Karlie says.

“You know what I mean, Karlie… I’m not ready for that.”

“I get it, Taylor. I know what you mean. But we don’t even have to go public. I’m not asking you to come out. I mean, can’t we enjoy each other in private? The whole world doesn’t have to know.”

“We tried that already, didn’t we? Look how it turned out… I love you too much to keep you a secret. You don’t deserve that.”

“This can’t be it, Taylor? There’s got to be a way.”

“I honestly don’t know if there is.” Taylor says softly.

“But we made it work before, didn’t we? We were happy.”

“It’s different this time, Karlie. It’s so much different. You know that… There’s just so much more attention. People watch every move I make. People watch every move you make.”

“Well fuck them!” Karlie says, her voice loud.

“Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad. I’m just frustrated.” Karlie says. “Well, you know what? I take it back. I am mad! I’m so angry! Why can’t we be together? People get together for so much less, Taylor. So much less.”

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“Bullshit.” Karlie says in frustration.

They stay silent again.

Karlie finally speaks.

“You care too much about what other people think. People that don’t even matter. I feel like I’m the only one fighting here. For once, Taylor, follow your heart. Do what you want!” Karlie says, her voice firm.

“And what? Risk it all and run away with you?”

Karlie does not respond.

“We’re not living in a fairytale, Karlie…And I’m not just doing this for myself. I’m doing this for you, too.” Taylor says.

“Don’t put this on me, Taylor. I can take care of myself… I know what I want and I can make my own decisions. Thank you very much. You, on the other hand—“

“That’s not fair.” Taylor says and looks away. Finally allowing herself to cry. “This is hard for me, too.” She says, her voice trembling.

Karlie seeing the tears and hurt look on Taylor’s face, instantly regrets her comment.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Karlie says sincerely.

“I don’t want us to fight.” Taylor says, wiping her tears.

“I don’t want us to fight either.” Karlie says.

“I want us to be friends no matter what.” Taylor says.  “I don’t want to lose you. You’re too important to me.”

“Friends?” Karlie says with a sarcastic laugh. She couldn’t believe what she’s hearing. “We’re so much more than that.”

“I know. But that’s all I can give you… I love you more than anything in the world but this all I can offer for now.”

Karlie’s been crying really hard and now she’s trying to catch her breath.

“I can’t breathe.” Karlie says.

“Are you okay?” Taylor asks visibly worried.

“Yeah, I just need some water.”

“Okay.” Taylor gets up to get some water.

Karlie’s nose is congested from crying. She tries to breathe through her mouth. She just stares blankly on the floor as she waits for Taylor. She notices the red wine stain on the carpet and contemplates on how their night could have ended so differently.

“Here.” Taylor sits beside Karlie, giving her a bottle of water.

Karlie drinks the water too fast, almost emptying the bottle. “Thank you.” She says. 

“Are you okay now?” Taylor asks, still looking worried.  

“Yeah. I think so.” Karlie says, putting the bottle on the floor. 

“Are you sure?” Taylor asks. Karlie looks at her and nods. 

“You know what? I’ll take it. I’ll take your offer.” Karlie says. 

“What?” Taylor asks, confused.

“I’ll take your friendship... If that’s what you want.”

“It’s not what I want, Karlie... It’s what I need to do.”

"I understand.” Karlie says. This is not what she wants as well but it’s better than losing Taylor completely. 

They look at each other and even without saying a word they both know they are hurting deeply inside.

A part of Taylor wants Karlie to disagree with her and continue fighting for their relationship. She wants Karlie to tell her how wrong she is and make her realize that she’s making the biggest mistake of her life. Relationships end when both parties give up at the same time. Taylor knows this all too well. 

“It’s the worst kind of friendship. You know that, right?” Karlie says, trying to laugh to mask the pain that she’s feeling.

Taylor gives her a weak smile. “I know.”