I wanna be soft with someone and not regret it after
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@heybluewolf
I wanna be soft with someone and not regret it after

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Be with someone who plans the future with you without any hesitation.
Hi baby, I'm going to sleep thinking about you tonight. I was doing fine, but then you appeared in my notifications again and disrupted my process of forgetting you. I don't want you to stop giving a sign every now and then; I think it's me who needs to understand that it doesn't mean anything anymore.
Tonight I went out alone. You know when they post a photo of a random person alone and caption it "freedom or loneliness"? Well, during the hours I spent alone outside, I wondered if I was free or lonely. It occurred to me that it wasn't freedom if, at every moment, I was trapped in the idea of us; however, it wasn't loneliness because I didn't actually feel alone. I had myself in that moment. Of course, I wanted to have you too, but that's someone else's job now. My body was free; I could jump, run, scream, knock on your door and say it was a mistake, but my mind couldn't muster the same boldness. It kept playing a fast-forward movie all the time, slowing down only when your image appeared. That is, when it didn't freeze, like when I passed that street where I kissed you on our first night or that other one where I explored more of you on our last night.
I thought about you all night and could deal with it because it's my problem. It's not your issue whether I think about you or not. I never thought a notification of something you reposted would be enough to ruin me. Do you see how I suffer more with a bit of you than with none at all now? I'm better off alone than lonely with you. So it was freedom.
– heybluewolf

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hi everyone, I've been kinda inactive here and I missed posting. I've written a lot lately and I'll share it w u đź’•
calling someone by their correct name/pronouns is not charity. It’s normal respectable behaviour, and it shouldn’t be a chore.Â
Acabei de passar por um lugar em Boston que você amaria conhecer, e é engraçado porque há pouco tempo éramos perdidamente apaixonados e agora eu conheço o mundo sem você, e uma pessoa nova te leva para sair. Concordamos que estávamos fechando a porta de uma maneira tranquila, e não sei você, mas eu menti. Doeu como nunca, meus olhos ficaram marejados enquanto você dizia cada coisa, lembro-me de ter sido a última vez que ri e sorri com você. E certamente foi a última vez de uma infinidade de vezes em que você me fez rir. Pedi um café e estou lendo um dos livros que te presenteei no último ano, é um bom livro você tem razão. Espero que ao fim do café e do livro eu esteja pronto para registrar uma nova memória sem você, mas agora nesse exato momento, sinto sua falta.
Can i love you without getting hurt?
“But with every falling apart there is a coming together.”
— Unknown

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“Engole teu coração e se ama por dentro.”
— Caio Fernando Abreu. Â
my red flag is i can ignore you all day but still think about you all day
Um dia a gente casa.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Looking now at the red flags of someone I've said reminded me of the color purple, who once made me feel a serene blue like the darkened sky, and then plunged into a deep brown, almost reddish. Our love was a rich palette: sometimes black and gold, so rich, sometimes lilac and opaque cyan, so soft, sometimes orange and pink, so fiery. However, it turned gray: cheap, rough, and cold. It burned and turned into ashes. Silence hung transparent and hazy. There was something behind it, although it was impossible to discern what it was. A part of me knew that something so obvious was there, something that resembled someone else. Betrayal manifested as white: simple, glaring, and excessively clear. Our skins, yours brown and mine in lighter tones, never blended well. You were like water, eager to merge with me, while I was oil paint, which works best alone and pushes you away. Drops were never your style; you were a full cup. This was my fear: losing my own colors after feeling you spill over me. The world became monochromatic when I realized that you had ceased to be my muse and had become just a pretty face for someone else, surrendering to a vandal when you had a true artist within your reach. You had the brush and chose to paint a wall in ruins instead of a canvas; you had the pen and opted to scribble on papers instead of drawing artworks; you had the dawn and chose not to rise, instead of painting the sky. The world regained its colors when I woke up and realized that I had managed to erase the graffiti you made on my heart. I moved forward, allowing my art to shine beyond the shadows, like a star that continues to sparkle even when the clouds of indecision dissipate, like a poetess who finds inspiration in new souls.
heybluewolf
knowing someone is genuinely excited to talk to you is a lovely feeling