hallo

the wind softly lifting the floral curtains above the sink

What each projected, what each saw themselves as and what they really were simply were not congruent.

I learned so much about myself. Through them.

He needs a man who won’t challenge him.

I need someone who knows exactly who they are.

I’m too passionate, too strongly opinionated for a man that needs others to shrink so he can stand taller.

Thank you for pushing me. For supporting me.

For loving me.

I love you. My curly boy.

And am instead trying to find the joy in being by myself

I’d rather be with you

Maybe I need to move my eyes back and forth faster

Press on the right chakras

about me

You weren’t looking for love

You can’t even say it— how could you be so arrogant as to look for it?

You crave convenience and hope that will fill the space love is supposed to take

I know, I’m closer to whatever it is

And I’ll never stop growing my own

having my own

love.

You run away when it gets tough.

Maybe cuz you know you wouldn’t last.

I get that now.

Self preservation, right?

and sad ones become ever so full of joy

what a wonderful thing to feel

all my assumptions.

why are you even reaching out anyway?

How could i?

You couldn’t be honest with the people closest to you in your life.

Did you expect that from me?

I don’t think you did.

I still struggle sometimes trying to understand.

Did you give me that little bit of privacy because you know what it feels like to have to hide parts of yourself to make sure you’re still loved?

I think I get it now.

I’m sorry again.