#AnActualConversation

We’re folding laundry. Me: These are cleaner than when I put them in. Scott: ...  Scott: I’m so glad you finally figured out the point of washing machines.

Me: I just started this movie and if you want I can start over... but I highly doubt that because it got a 5.8. Scott: Oh that's really low... Scott: ... You're watching it because it's a trainwreck aren't you. Me: I know. Scott: Just like other things... Me: Hey hey, Sharknado was not a trainwreck. In fact, it was the complete opposite of a trainwreck. Me: It was a sharknado.

Scott: Did you like the picture of the bear/dog? Me: Yes. I want. Scott: You just want to bury your face into something huge and furry. Me: No it’s dual use. First, I have a pet. When it dies, I have a rug. Scott: Jesus christ.

Me: Wow I think I’ve been following them for a decade now. Scott: You’re a hipster. Me: No, they were pretty popular before I followed them. Scott: ... Me: It’s just that they aren’t that well-known outside of Japan. Scott: And there it is. I knew if I waited long enough I’d get a hipster comment.

Scott: He’s only 39. Me: What?! He looks like he’s my dad’s age! Scott: White people, Ren. We age fast. Me: ... You need to moisturise.

Me: I'm sorry God, but I don't believe. Scott: That was a very odd thing to say. It's like calling up Cosmo to cancel a subscription you don't have.