. h e w n

It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like genius, she is ignorant of what she does.

we were astronauts and beekeepers; archaeologists and mechanics; overseas teachers getting drunk off communion wine in a theocratic country with no believers. I was the blowhole in a whale and the trash heap at sea I was a groundbreaking invention hidden under planned obsolescence you were the vitamin C I took daily and the cold I caught anyway you were a ferris wheel showing a child the world at the top we were forks coming off of screaming rivers and diving into sidewalks holding handprints that weren’t ours throwing rotten eggs into ditches because what else would we do with them and what else was there to do? I filled a cracked bucket with jell-o and left it on your porch because I knew you’d know what I meant you painted a face around the hole I punched through the wall because you knew I’d send a picture to my mom we recited mournful monologues on the bruises in our bananas we played pianos with our toes we pinched the sun between our fingers we were lost. we weren’t alone.