HetaTheory

As I gaze upon the vastness of Hetalia, I realize how weird some of the things that are in it. For instance, Latvia cannot get drunk, at all. This is one of the reasons that Russia favors Latvia as a drinking partner. 

Thankfully, for this question, I don't have to do math!! Yay!! 

For this, we're going to assume that no matter how much alcohol Latvia drinks, he won't be able to get drunk. 

Now, how does Latvia have the ability to not get drunk? First, we must know how alcohol affects the body to make you drunk in the first place. 

Basically, it boils down to this: 

(Warning!! Biology that most of us have probably forgotten!!!) 

When you drink alcohol, your stomach lets it pass into the small intestine where it gets absorbed into the bloodstream because your body cannot break down alcohol into a less potent substance (AKA Digest) as it can with meat and veggies. After it enters the bloodstream, your body mistakes it for one of the eight chemicals in your brain and gets taken to the brain. Once at the brain, it shuts down the actual chemical producers in a similar situation to this: 

You are working hard to make orange juice, but as you work, you look outside to see hundreds of people just making orange juice from water. Enraged, you quit your job. 

Basically, your chemical producing glands sense that they are no longer needed and sleep for a little while, which is why, when you wake up, you have a hangover as the chemical producing glands have yet to jump-start fully, so you're left with a half-functioning brain and dehydrated induced headache. 

Now, while this won't kill you, you must remember that alcohol is what scientists refer to as a depressant. That means that when you drink it, it causes you to become more relaxed by slowing your breathing and heart rate. However, the more you drink the more you become 'alcohol resistant' so you must drink more and more to get drunk. This means that, at a certain point, too much alcohol enters your system and it will completely shut down your brain's chemical glands (which you need for your brain to function properly), stop your breathing, and heart. This is what alcohol poisoning is. 

Now, this is where things get a little more interesting. According to the internet and the many sources it carries, everyone has enzymes in their stomach called ADH and ALDH that can break down alcohol to a certain extent. These enzymes, (sometimes referred to as alcohol metabolism) vary a lot from person to person, so there is no median of how much an average person can drink before getting drunk. These enzymes can range from so low a half cup of alcohol will get you tipsy to you need one and a half cups to get you on your way. Remember that as you become more alcohol resistant, this is your enzymes getting better at digesting/breaking down alcohol. 

However, there is still a limit to how much these enzymes can break down alcohol. This is also a little unpredictable but it boils down to, no matter how strong your ADH and ALDH enzymes are, your still going to get drunk at some point. 

None of this is related to alcohol intolerance, which is similar in effect to lactose intolerance. Basically, it means that your body will reject alcohol and is sometimes a result of genetics or drinking too much alcohol and your body deciding that enough is enough. That is also why you'll throw up, your body has detected too much alcohol and will force the stuff that has stayed in your stomach out. 

There is also another genetic factor in getting drunk, it's called the 'hangover gene'. This gene is newly found and still in the process of being researched with little information on it. From what I found though, it does cause a very high natural alcohol tolerance that will keep you from feeling drunk for a significantly longer period of time than if you don't have it. However, this gene will not stop alcohol poisoning from happening and you will still get the effects of 'drunk' eventually. Having this gene actually puts you at a higher risk of alcohol poisoning due to people not knowing when to stop because 'they don't feel drunk' or 'they aren't acting drunk so why should the alcohol stop'. 

Back to how this is related to Latvia. My theory from the information above is that Latvia has a super version of the hangover gene and cannot physically get drunk, and his nation healing abilities/immortality stop him from getting alcohol poisoning/stopping an alcohol buildup in his system. That, and a liver of steel. 

Yeah, the reason that people say that is because the liver cleans the blood of all the gross stuff such as alcohol and dead blood cells, but it can't clean alcohol really fast, so the alcohol just stays in the liver for a while before going out into your toilet while you go number 1. 

So, Latvia can't feel the effects of getting drunk, such as disorientation, a lack of coordination, mood and behavior changes, harder to think clearly, and most likely hangovers, and his nation healing/immortality keep him from dying of alcohol poisoning. 

 A little while ago, I did a thing on how strong APH America is and as I re-read it, I thought about other characters in Hetalia that are supernatural in some way. Now, as I watched a few other episodes, I remembered how fast Italy Ventiziano runs when panicked. So, time for my new question that's probably not going to have as dramatic of an answer; how fast is APH Italy? 

To start this off, if you do not like math, I do not blame you and if you want to skip to the end, I will not judge. 

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Warning, all of my deductions will be based on the anime as the comics don't really move. 

With that out of the way, we need a basis to determine how fast Italy is. I found a few episodes where Italy runs away from Germany (this part will be important later) and one episode where Italy runs away from England. I'll be using episode 19 and episode 126 (or season 6, episode 6). In episode 19, Italy runs away from Germany during training. In the scene just before Italy and Germany run behind Japan, Italy runs to the horizon in roughly 3 seconds. Episode 126, when England is chasing Italy, Italy runs to the horizon in, again, roughly 3 seconds. 

Now what do we do with that information, you may ask? Well, the horizon is roughly 3 miles (5 kilometers) away from the eye of a six-foot (182.88 cm) tall person. In canon, England is 5ft 9in (172 cm) tall and Germany is 5ft 11in (180 cm) tall. I know that England looks shorter and Germany looks a little taller, but I'm trying to work with canon stuff guys. 

So, the horizon is about 3 miles (5 kilometers) away in both of the scenes. That means that Italy is running 3 miles/5 kilometers in 3 seconds. 

How to get speed from that is through this equation: speed = distance ÷ time. S = D ÷ T. 

Our distance (D) is 3 miles (kilometers) and our time (T) is 3 seconds. 

Because I don't like math as well, I used a speed distance time calculator from CalculatorSoup. 

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Welcome back if you are the person who wanted to skip the math. 

The answer I got was 3600 miles per hour (5793.638 kilometers per hour). 

... Damn, Italy be fast. 

Now, remember that this is when Italy is hyped up on (fight or flight) adrenaline. This would mean that Italy already is super fast without adrenaline. This means that he'd probably still be able to run around 1000 - 2000 mph (1609 - 3218 kph) without adrenaline.

To put this into context, Mach 1 (the speed of sound) is 761 mph (1224 kph). Mach 2 is 1522 mph (2449 kph). Mach 3 is 2283 mph (3674 kph). Italy is running somewhere between Mach 1 and 2 if he has no adrenaline. If he's on adrenaline (AKA the flight or fight response), he's running around Mach 5. 

How are Italy's legs still twigs? Probably because he's not applying himself. Can't say that I'm sorry. 

Actually, how are any of the Italy’s legs twigs? If all the Italy siblings (Venteziano, Romano, and Seborga) have this kind of speed, that means... something. IDK. 

Hopefully, this was less dramatic than my America math thing. Maybe I'll rewrite it to be less dramatic! 

Okay, so how strong is America? This question has bugged me for a while, so I decided to figure it out!

Well, first we need a baseline so we can try and figure it out with the power of math. Now, I won't be able to find the maximum amount of strength that America can wield, but I can find a minimum. So, here we go!!

(If you don't feel like reading a bunch of math, then just skip to the end)

There are three main instances in canon where America shows off his massive strength.

1) When he was a colony he swung a bison over his head for fun. This is shown in the show and in the comics.

2) He dragged England's car (a Rollc Royce) around for around an hour to find England to ask him if he borrows the key's so he could try driving it.

3) In a Hetalia game (NotoSama 6), America stops a car with his foot.

The easiest way that I can find a baseline of America's strength is with a SW Ratio, or a Strength to Weight Ratio for America. You can find a SW Ratio by taking the max weight someone can lift and divide that by how much the person weighs. For example, if someone can lift 200 lbs and they weigh 100 lbs, then they have a SW Ratio of 2.

(P.S. I only know how to do this using the imperial system thing, so I'll just add in metric when I can. Sorry.)

How might I find it, you ask? Well, I will have to have some guesswork, but it can be done!

I will use the first example.

Now, in canon, England is 5 ft 9 in or 175 cm. (I know that he looks way shorter, but this is math for the canon so we'll just have to deal with it. I also didn't want to find out how tall England really is because that would require too much effort.) In the panels and episode where we can see England holding a baby America, America looks about the size of most of his torso, so around a 2ft or 60.96 cm. The average weight of a child that size is 14.6 lbs or 6.6 kg.

Then we need the weight of an American bison.

Your average male bison will weigh in from around 1014-ish lbs (460-ish kg) to 2182-ish lbs (990-ish kg). A female will weigh in from around 793-ish lbs (360-ish kg) to 1190-ish lbs (540-ish kg). So, what I shall do is take the average for both a male and female and then find the average of that. How I shall do that is by finding the sum of the numbers then divide the sum by 2.

Male bision -           1014 + 2182 = 3196      3196/2 = 1598

Female bision -         793 + 1190 = 1983       1983/2 = 991.5

Average -               991.5 + 1598 = 2589.5       2589.5/2 = 1294.75

Of course you can just do it this way -

1014 + 2181 + 793 + 1190 = 5179         5179/4 = 1294.75

So we'll say the bison weighs around 1294.75 lbs (587.28 kg)

Always check your math!

So, for this calculation we'll be using this equation; O/P = S    (O = Object weight, P= Person weight, S = Strength Weight Ratio)     So we get 1294.75/14.6 = S.

We get the ending SW Ratio of 88.68150685. Wow!

Then, to translate this to adult America. How we'll do this is by doing that is by doing the missing variable thing. You know, the one where it goes 2 + x = 3 or something? Yeah, that one. Except we don't know O. S stays the same while P is really easy to figure out.

Since P is the person's weight we just need to find adult America's weight, which I shall figure out the same way I did with baby America: Through the power of the internet!

Modern America's canon height is 5 ft 9.6 in or 177 cm. (Again, I know he looks so much taller, but I'm sticking with the canon stuff here guys.) Now using this information we can find an average with his weight.

What I found was that an average male around America's height will be around 144 lbs to 176 lbs (65.3 kg to 79.8 kg). From what we know of America, he's going to be on the heavier side as he constantly tries to lose weight but unknowingly gains muscle mass in his bid to lose weight, so I'll just use the 176 lbs so that way I don't have to do more math with the valid excuse that it should be alright.

So that gives us the equation O/176 = 88.68150685. To find O we just mix up the equation a little bit so we get 176 * 88.68150685 = O.

With the help of my calculator I got 15607.94521.

(If your the person who wanted to skip all the math, welcome back. I do not judge you. Math sucks.)

... Holy shit, America is strong.

Now keep in mind, what I just went found was what America's strength would be to lift something like a baseball bat because that bison sure as hell wasn't causing him any problems.

He can wield 15607.9 lbs (7079.624352 kg) like a baseball bat. That's roughly 8 tons! Like a baseball bat!!

Actually, the average guy can lift 135 lbs, an average baseball bat 2 lbs. Put that into a ratio calculator and an average for what America can lift (15607.94521 lbs) in the same position as the baseball bat and the answer you get is 1053533.25 lbs!! That's roughly 526.8 tons!!!

For a bare minimum amount of strength!!! As in, he'll only start struggling with 526 tons!! Only start!!!

And with how much he works out and is canonly gaining muscle mass he can probably lift more!!! Gaining muscle mass!!!! In canon!!!! That means that he's getting stronger!!!

What, does he just carry the tanks rookie army members broke from the base to the fucking repair shop as exercise!? ... Actually, since tanks are under 100 tons, that probably wouldn't work as a form of exercise...

Handshakes from him must be horrifying and unsettling, let alone a hug! We should all be thankful America's a friendly idiot!!

At least now we all know why America has to eat so much! His metabolism must be on par with the Flash or the Hulks!!

And this isn't even touching on the fact that a countries genetics work by influence for the most part!

(A prime example of this is why Australia and New Zealand have massive eyebrows from England without being genetically related while Canada, America, and Seychelles don't have the face caterpillar's because of France's influence.)

And America has the micronation Molossia as his little brother! And while Molossia doesn't look anything like America, he still would have to have gained something from being constantly influenced by America, right? That means that Molossia might have gotten ridiculous strength from America!

Forget America and Russia getting into a physical fight scaring people, America and Molossia getting into a physical fight should scare the shoes, socks, and underwear off of everyone while they're all running for the hills!

Thank god there just fictional characters.  

Also! With how strong America turned out, I also think that he would probably be cracking or breaking his own bones a lot, or his bones have a very high density so they don't break. Considering he was born with the strength, I would imagine his bones are just as strong as his muscles. One more reason that a hug from America would be terrifying.

Another Note: The 526 tons is just where America would begin to start struggling - as in his muscles would just start to have to put in effort - most likely. I'm willing to bet that if America is running on full adrenaline, he's most likely lifting around 2000 - 3000 tons. Because people running on nothing but adrenaline have been known to lift massive objects like cars. Until then, I'd be willing to bet that America would be able to lift around 1000 - 1500 tons before his muscles give out completely. Like, your average joe moving a refrigerator with nothing but their bare hands.