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Some days are nothing but a flutter of unconscious thoughts, ideas, and movements in any given direction. I ponder the days of kindness and thoughtful revelry that seem long gone by. Or is that I am so far removed from levels of kindness that I, myself, have forgotten the significance of kindness in my life. I am set to challenge my new year focus on levels of kindness. What and where that…

What happened to me? What happened to my mind? What happened to my heart? What happened to my drive? What happened to my path? The things that keep us pivoting forward are also the things that keep us alive in our hearts and minds. Over the years I have forgotten, or maybe just didn’t realize, how much power I put into the forward motion of my life. Yes, I know it comes without saying and…

Trust who you are, trust what you believe you are and want to be. Trust your gut. Trust your mind. Trust your heart. Trust that YOU know yourself better than anyone. Reject that trust is fleeting. Reject that trust isn’t important to every aspect of life. Reject that you don’t trust yourself, because there is no one else to trust more, than yourself with your truths… and life. Where to begin…

Pouring into…Life, Love, Living

Where to begin, where to initiate how, or who, or what is pouring “into” you! I have spent a great deal of my life (yes including childhood) in search of something that I could not put my finger on, much less find the words to help define, explain, or even reflect my search. There are a ton of metaphors, philosophical rants, and memes that could be used for this type of search but none actually…

Are we growing up or growing irrelevant?

Such controversial statements make my blood boil at times. More so because I think there is truth and validity in such statements that I don’t want to acknowledge since it sounds subjective. I have spent my life growing in all facets of life – body, mind, heart, soul, intellect, education, experience, street smarts, book smarts, business smarts, etc., and the growth goes on. BUT WHY do I feel…

In search of a Friend

Is it an age-old question: What makes you a friend? I have always been told to have a friend “Be a friend”. Well, in today’s world it seems that being a friend is definitely not like it was twenty years ago. Nope, it isn’t like anything my overly social generation is used to or truly expects at our age. Not that age has anything to do with it, or does it? Exploring the nuances of what being a…

I choose…

This life gives us such amazing choices, well when we seek options. The conflicts come when we don’t know what we want or which direction we want to choose. I love the idea that I have a choice to make and have the ability to make those choices. Are the decisions different or harder for others? I would think no, but I am sure that I am not completely attuned to how others are paralyzed by choices…

What is your _____?

The neverending thoughts that go through many adults as they progress through their careers and personal lives. Struggling to identify who they are to themselves much less the rest of the world. I think, hard, about this every day recently. Several life events have led me to this time and I do not regret anything I am much more concerned about the fact that as I reach a pinnacle point in my adult…

Life trickles along no matter what your pace, your perspective or your heritage.  We grow exponentially in so many ways, yet we don’t grow in many ways that benefit us, as humans, at all. The biggest percent of people spend their lives trying to find peace, happiness, and purpose. Yet, what we have inside is what matters, at least that is what I have been told. The struggle to see what is inside…

Losing who I am

Ahhh, the proverbial act of losing – the loss of anything is good, so I am told. I have read how losing builds character, makes one humble, is considered self-growth, builds confidence (really?), helps build confidence through repetition and practice by gaining lessons learned and skillsets. Alas, can losing who I am mean that I am growing as an individual, a woman…a human? Or is something more…

An interesting thought came to mind this week, are we programmed to fear living because we know we will die? I have thought about many things in the last few weeks and mainly because of a friend, and then a parent both were diagnosed with lung cancer. My friend just passed away, so the obvious thoughts ponder about living and the fears that surround our mind and soul. However, I have read many…

Is there such thing as a forbidden word? I know as a society we have sensitivities to the what words mean to others and the potential impact those words may have on perspectives about who we are as individuals. Interestingly enough, I believe I have one sanctuary in this world, my home. Where forbidden words can be openly and freely discussed or used. No judgment, it is my home. The only place I…

Today of all days is a true day of past, present, and future. On Christmas Day, people from all walks of life are on a journey – a symbolic journey of Christmas’ past and present with hopes for the future. While it sounds like a Charles Dickens story, I swear it is about remembrance. Relatable and relevant to the stories by Dickens. However, my thoughts are more significant to what we remember of…

In our life we find, keep, throw, use, abuse, lose, squash, show, hide, squeeze, build, cherish, and seek love. Why is it seemingly so easy and so hard at the time? Can love to the one thing that could bring world peace? I see so many opportunities to have love be a glove that fits us during all aspects of our life. Is love fleeting or does it seem so, depending on what side of the fence you see…

Every day is a beautiful testimony to life. Good things happen, bad things occur, yet life keeps moving. I know, nothing magical here! Some exist, some live, and some are tolerating life. I think I wish for a more dutiful and serene vision of the world. Is my age factoring into my perspective of the world I see? Of course, it is! However, I would like to contemplate the perspective of the world…

I have read that brain stimulation increases creativity. So, maybe I need to find a creative outlet? Should I paint? Should I do crafts? Plant a garden? Build a house? Wait, I can barely focus on doing minor tasks for work or school, how can I focus on the details of creating something? Sure, it could be more fun or it could be boredom; or worse, lack of actually caring. Could that be it? Lack of caring. Wait, that feels more consistent with what I think is going on. I don’t actually care about what is going on around me. Work? Yeah, what of it. Doesn’t stimulate any emotional need to do good. School? Yeah, well it doesn’t give the satisfaction that I am accomplishing anything, anymore. So, what is happening then?

There may be something to this lack of caring scenario. I have read, re-read and found numerous stories about regaining focus, A.D.D. and A.D.H.D, but nothing seems to make sense and they are repetitive (each stating the same thing over and over). However, none are a cure for those, like me, who just lost their desire to focus. I used to be on top of my game at work, loved being the “Go To” person for what needed to be done (and done right). Now I know what needs to be done but cannot seem to find the gumption to care if I know the answer or if it’s right by anyone standards. Now, I am seeing this, FINALLY, after sitting a room full of my colleagues that seem to be really focused on what we were working on and knowing the who, what, where and why we were discussing. While I was sitting there trying to remember how or why I couldn’t remember what I have learned and taught many others. Hence, my current state of what happened? It’s not a disease because I am not sick, forgetful, or blacking out in any way (not that any of these are diseases but self-diagnosis of what I see that could be an issue). A lack of emotional connection and self-realization about what is or may be driving my mind to find what is more important for me. Now, staying focused to find my true purpose. Hold the phone…there are squirrels in the backyard.