HERnative

Damn how much I want this. But I'll be patient cause my baby will have to be patient with me. Can't wait to meet you 🌹.

Damn how much I want this. But I'll be patient cause my baby has to be patient with me. Can't wait to meet you. 🌹

That's says something along the line of. Can't make something that isn't but hope whatever it becomes, it will have the same kind of impact you wished for or better.

My brother what's to be rich (or should I say successful) some day and we all have our own way in trying to achieve that, I guess. When one thinks this way, one thinks the other way. Well I think one way he thinks another. As much as I want to make him see my way is better he doesn't seem to understand because of some person's advantage in life that he doesn't have and makes up excuses. And he thinks one way where I don't see it happening and his way hindering him instead of helping. His young and I do get it. Still getting it myself because I don't have the advantage of other's have. For a second I felt like a failure, that I hadn't become the person to inspire him the way I wished I was inspired. I feel like I'm running out of time and can't seem to get out of my own way. It sucks. His determination to have better then he has now is refreshing to me and it reminds me of when I wanted that for myself. So I'm sure there is a say that says something along the lines of I'm going to be better than yesterday

Kiss her and tell her you love her and come back home and do the same for me. Kiss me and tell me you love me and I do the same for you and tell you those exact words in our bed "I love you". A lie to give you comfort as I bleed in discomfort for my children, a knife you generously put in my back serving me as slaughter at your dinner table, promising her of secret forever after in joyous laughter. I'm your dutiful first wife as your are my only husband I will still hold onto you tightly, breathing in your overpowering scent of deceit, stinging my eyes bring in tears that will never wash you of the resentment I hold over you, a guarded affection, to keep my hold onto you as you are all I want to hold onto to not shatter the last piece of my soul as I pray for my children, our children to have better than what you offered me, A hurt love.

For my mother.

Shattered twice in once thought true and for odd many years never thought was you. Till I came to see another broken piece of someone I once knew, did I see behind the curtain and saw truth. It never is what it seems but hope will always shine through to try believe not everyone is like you but still I curse them too...

I've learned what ever decisions you make it becomes a domino effect. And when your own it doesn't matter so much, but when it comes to family and the decisions you made can change the chemistry. And once you know someone actions if its good or bad does change once prospective on that person forever and then you try to figure out do really know anyone at all.

Secrets and thoughts I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours and maybe I'll love you more, and in my naive thoughts I will believe them true and say I do because my trust in you will grow blind, a chance for you to feed me lies while you drink your bitter sweet red wine...