the hoimycraf collection

alright, so today's xb monday is a great opportunity for me to tell you about my silly eldritch horror husbands au!

basically, in this au both xb and keralis are eldritch creatures and they are happily in love and married to each other and. that's pretty much it. you can say they are "retired" from all the eldritch horror stuff and just live almost normal lives as hermits with some occasional incidents happening...otherwise just 2 almost perfectly normal guys on an absolutely normal server being in love. maybe they're also a bit obsessed with each other, given how much time they spend together, doing stuff related to or for each other. well, you know, normal xbralis stuff. they will just sit together and talk a lot about stuff only they could understand and if any other hermit will hear their conversation it will just sound absolutely bonkers. and that's all i need. it's a silly au, really.

now let me tell you a bit more about xb himself! meet the papa of all guardians, the great marine disaster, eldritch god of ocean and all that entails...in his true form he is a big fella, that is true, but really he's quite chill and generally won't harm you if you treat the ocean or its habitants with respect. otherwise, he might slap you out of existence or something even worse.

he created all of the guardians to protect the waters (hence the name) from any threat that might oppose. in guardian culture he is their god, the great creator. he is depicted in their monuments and is well respected. additionally, conduits are quite literally his eyes! he can see through them, which is an awesome way to annoy hermits by asking them about their super-secret underwater projects that no one is supposed to know about.

of course, by itself xb's true form is too large to actually be on hermitcraft and comfortably interact with the other hermits. that's why you can see those glowing lines on his body. they are, in fact, magical runes(but i am too lazy to draw them properly) that transfer his consciousness to a human body, while the large form is asleep.

that's where we get to talk about human form of xb!

he got none of them fishy features, but he still managed to keep his crown of spikes. i'm sure he never came up with any explanation for the other hermits, and they just got used to it.

additionally, being a normal size brought him an unusual problem: guardians ADORE him. xb usually can't even approach monuments because all of the guardians start swarming around him happily. they recognize their god, they know he is their papa! they are incredibly happy to let him know that. and don't get xb wrong- he loves his little children and can't ignore them, but sometimes he needs to actually do his tasks, and he doesn't have an extra 5 hours to pat each one of the guardians on their spiky heads..

oghh boy.. that post is a mess. but so is my brain when i think about xbralis.

Sandman Bdubs

"I CONTROL THE LIGHT"

What if black hole symbolism….

The sheep has been here THE WHOLE TIME!!!

the resemblance is uncanny

bee who is mad all the time

You are what you eat: Mimic Edition!

(Close ups below the cut)

you were a forbidden fruit, somebody else's fight

[song: forbidden fruit — hallway swimmers]

You put the "Fun" into "Dysfunction."