i've frequently not been on boats

" Newt must have felt him looking at him instead of eating because he turns his head sharply and looks pointedly at the plate and then at Hermann. He smiles slightly, just a tug of the corners of his mouth up, and Hermann wants to catch it and keep it, like a butterfly pinned to a board.

"What's wrong?" asks Hermann, taking another bite.

Newt bursts out laughing, shaking his head and hiding his face in his hands. Hunching over, he lets out a scream into his hands, then suddenly moving those to his hair. Hermann cannot help but catalogue their movement. Turning back again, Newt is suddenly looking at him again, staring like he is the kaiju that came to stomp them to the ground. Or maybe not, considering how excited Newton gets about those.

"Hermann, you're falling apart and asking me what's wrong?" he asks, unusually quietly.

"Yes."

Newt blinks at him a couple of times as if waiting for him to continue. When he does not, he just huffs and laughs again.

"You're such a ridiculous asshole."

------ I wrote a fic! It is my first E rated one.

You should read it for depressed and melancholic Hermann at the end of the war, in love with numbers, literature, and of course Newton Geiszler.

Hermann going insane in the comment section with himself is the most beautiful and pure head canon, I'm going to hold it gently in my hand then put it in a little glass terrarium to keep it safe. On his one account, he's articulately waxing poetic about the musical merits of the band and/or members or explaining some of the more scientifically advanced lyrics to other commenters. Then on his other account, he's like “lol who cares??? only here 4 newt leather pants rofl!!!” and flames EVERYONE who says anything against the band.

Then fast forward to the lab era and in person with Newt, to protect his secret, he pretends he can't remember the band's name. “Ah, yes, Dr. Geiszler, your old band the… er, the ‘Black Velour Bunnies,’ or was it the “Dark Leather Rabbits” or somesuch?”

The Case of the Professor’s Knife by cephalopod_groupie, art by fourdollarwords, marcel

Epilogue

Amazing cover art here and here.

making some stupid edit rn and i found this augh.. newt's hand..

i learned it was happy birthday to the grumpy bean.