I'm just a mess with a name and a price

you are NOT my “passenger princess” get off your phone we are Under attack!!!!!!!! you are my gunner; man the weapons and defend our vehicle with your life!!!

im not just a steppe nomad. i'm the nomad who stepped up

man why didn’t they just have this guy fight him off. dude’s huge

i wouldn't fight godzilla if i was this dude's size, for roughly the same reason i wouldn't fight a komodo dragon at the size i currently am

Not even to save New York?

what has new york ever done for me

Y'all notice they don't make ocean spray commercials anymore. Ain't seen those two white men in the cranberry pit in a long time. The bog spiders musta got them.

they should make a followup commercial where the bog spiders are selling the juice

i love reading the text posts on here that are like little windows into everyones lives. someones having coffee. someones waiting for the bus. someones buying their friend a gift. someone's crying, someone's laughing. someones going to bed

MILV (mutual id like to visit)

I cant believe that right now santa’s elves are making me a dildo. I love christmas

Aborted neighbour: I would have loved to do construction at 3am

we mustnt let these Christmas festivities and whatnot distract us from the true meaning of Thursday

position being overun by grinch forces. calling in a jolly strike on my location. may claus have mercy on my soul.

this is what GOOD pussy sounds like [geiger counter noises]