my knuckles bled out the sadness                                           from a pain i couldn’t take

— truthfully, he had only said that because he was worried about coming across too forward. he didn’t want to seem overly familiar or like he was trying to insert himself into her life, so the reaction he got caught him a bit off guard.

‘ it’s no problem… ’  he hoped that he wasn’t making her uncomfortable. he’d thought for sure that someone living in a bigger city like her would have plenty of friends… but that was ignorant of him to assume, especially when he considered his own experience back in tokyo. his mind briefly flashed back to the dead mouse left in his desk, and he suppressed a shudder.

why did shion live away from her family in the first place? he didn’t dare ask, but it seemed strange to him. he wondered if something happened that caused a rift… he returned back to the previous topic at hand to distract his thoughts.

‘ i can’t even imagine going to university, even though it’s really so close. i’ve gotten so used to living here already. honestly, i only have you guys too… ’

          It was never too early to consider your options for schooling! You came to terms with that when you were sent away - you sifted through your options early. Once you came home and eventually were allowed to stay, you declared you wanted to be able to help people. You were already set on getting far away.

          Away from it all - away from the Sonozaki heirarchy. Away from Oryo. Of course, you’d also abide by the limitations from the curse - you’d visit every chance you get. Settle in home. Appease some God you grew up believing. ( though, you found your faith wavering at times. and during those times, there’d be little creeps of thoughts - frightening you. even just a little. )

          “ Then you can go somewhere close, “ You shrugged, kicking a pebble. “ It’d also help if you had a plan in mind - where you want to find yourself in life. I, for instance, have long since come to terms with the fact I’d have to go far away from home for what I want to do! But... I’ll manage. And you know what Kei-chan? “

You found yourself giving a gentle smile - one reserved for... for... ( what are you doing? )

— he scrunched up his face in discomfort at the flick of his nose, rubbing it softly after the initial impact. shion seemed to be in good spirits now, definitely acting more like her usual self at least. he had a passing thought that maybe the heat had just gotten to her… but he knew that that probably wasn’t true. what wasn’t she telling him?

‘ ah, that seems really nice though! not having to worry about anyone else and just doing whatever you want. i’ve fantasized about living on my own before but they always end up with me eating ramen alone at 3 am. ’ he laughed but the more he thought about it, the more it actually seemed sad. her family had that huge estate and she lived on her own in a completely different town? 

sounds like it would be kind of lonely… 

he was starting to feel like he was prying into things that he shouldn’t. why was he doing this anyway? walking her to the bus stop or whatever the equivalent of home would be? despite his appearance it really was out of his way for him. nothing was forcing him to do this. he was worried about her, sure, but…

‘ you can call me if you ever feel lonely. even if it’s late… if you don’t have anyone else to talk to, i mean. i’m sure you have other friends. ’

          “ It’s rough - I don’t suggest doing it until you’re, like... in university, or something! “ You COULD move in with your mom and dad - they’d welcome you with loving arms, after all. But you just kind of stayed put. A routine you had, you didn’t wish to break it. Especially after escaping St. Lucia. You cringed at the thought.

Part of you was afraid they’d send you back if you made your stay permanent. ( but you know they wouldn’t. they’d fight tooth and nail to keep you safe, so long as it’s not in the presence of oryo. ) You found yourself sighing. “ Ramen at three am... that doesn’t sound too horrible. I’d have to give it a try! “ Maybe.

          You found yourself perking up a little at the offer - in that moment, you were more... vulnerable. His words bore into you. You didn’t really have any other friends, asides for the club and Mion. You found yourself picking at your nails - those nails. An impulse.

starts fucking crying. after the four character songs, and particularly after “Thanks,” satoshi was up. either he wakes up a year after matsuribayashi-hen, or two years. it’s vague about how many years had passed since satoshi was put in the hospital, but at the very Least it’s been 2 yrs. thanks hurts me because

satoshi woke uuuuup starts sobbing like a clown.

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON KIMI WA DARE

i consider it a partner song to Thanks, since it’s kinda the same song? but told from Satoshi’s pov.

                     that  selfish  part  of  you  is  telling  you  to  grasp  this  chance .  a  night ?  make  it  a  year —  two ,  maybe  five .  how  much  you  want  to  leave  this  place ,  leave  the  burdens  holding  you  down  and  be  free  from  the  constant  torment .  the  villagers  hate  you ,  your  aunt  and  uncle  hate  you ,  satoko  is  the  one  thing  holding  you  down .  she  clings  to  your  leg  like  the  cuff  to  a  chain  that  locks  you  to  this  place ,  never  letting  you  stray  too  far ,  lest  she  cry  and  yank  you  back  again .

                     you  love  your  sister ,  of  course ,  more  than  anything .  though  a  bitter  resentment  has  been  building  within  you  for  a  long  while  now .  you  wish  you  could  say  it  wasn’t  true ,  that  you  would  gladly  sacrifice  your  life  for  her .  that  no  matter  how  much  you  were  kicked  and  smacked  around  you  would  faithfully  play  the  role  of  her  shield  without  complaint ,  but …

                     ‶  if  i  went  at  night  i’d  probably  have  to  let  auntie  know ,  and  i  don’t  think  she’d  approve …  but  going  in  the  morning  wouldn’t  be  much  better .  ″  you  frown  just  slightly ,  trying  to  weigh  what  was  the  better  option .  if  you  woke  up  very  early  it’d  probably  be  before  satoko  wakes  up ,  so  you’d  have  to  let  her  know  beforehand .  but  being  alone  all morning  might  be  hard  on  her .  after  all ,  it  wasn’t  as  if  she  had  many  friends  to  go  hang  out  with …  if  you  left  at  night  then  you  could  get  in  trouble ,  and  if  auntie  got  upset  while  you  weren’t  there  then  satoko  would  be  the  only  one  around .

                     you  briefly  consider  sneaking  out  in  the  middle  of  the  night ,  not  letting  anyone  know .  at  least  you’d  be  able  to  get  out  of  hinamizawa  for  a  while .  besides ,  it’s  not  as  if  you’ve  had  many  comfortable ,  sleep - filled  nights  regardless .  it’s  always  standing  over  your  bed ,  looking  down  on  you ,  keeping  you  awake  at  night .  no ,  no ,  don’t  think  about  that —

                     ‶  i  don’t  really  know  if  i  can …  ″

         Well... at least he answered. And you couldn’t hide the obvious sulk as fast as you’d like. You found your eyes flickering just softly - the Mion persona breaking for juuuust a moment. And then you let out a huff.

          It wasn’t that big of a deal. At least you didn’t want it to be. But... you offered a smile. It was kind of forced - a new attempt to force the Mion in you out. ( you hated it. you hated pretending to everyone. you liked lying, but not to this degree. but for your and her safety, you had to. it wasn’t fair, why didn’t you let her go to the amusement park that day- ) You snapped yourself out of your thoughts.

          “ Well... we still have a few weeks to figure it out! “ A remedy of the situation. You offered a grin - your own. Not Mion’s. Shion’s. A few weeks to figure out how to sneak him out for just a momentary reprieve. ( you hadn’t realized how desperate you were for the outside world until now. ) You tilted your head.

— keiichi made a noise of agreement. it had been a very long day, and the prospect of facing his parents was still something that he had to deal with at some point. best to keep moving.

‘ after you, sonozaki shion ~ i’ll have you know i’m taking this escort business extremely serious. nothings gonna mess with you as long as i’m around! not even the crows are safe. ’ he set a fist against his chest as if making a pledge, as if anyone was fooled that this wasn’t just a way for him to procrastinate the inevitable. although, despite the back and forth, he couldn’t say that this wasn’t time well spent.

he began to walk with her again in what he vaguely remembered as the direction of the bus stop. did she walk this way alone all the time? he walked home with rena and mion most of the time and she’d never come along before… the thought made him kind of sad.

‘ so what’s your place in okinomiya like? i bet it’s super nice, taking the sonozaki estate into account. although my parents have a big house and we’re only just about well off if i’m being honest. half of it is just dedicated to my dad’s art gallery… ’

          “ Before you, Maebara Keiichi, “ You quipped, taking a step ahead of him. You... truthfully didn’t want to even LOOK at him. You could feel your chest bubbling in thought, and you furrowed your brows when you faced away from him. For a moment, you turned around and gave him a soft flick on the nose.

          He... looked similar... Maybe Mion suggested this to torture you, and Rena didn’t understand the ramifications. Maybe. Maybe. You wanted to believe your sister to be innocent though. A shake of your head.

also. heres my only ref img of good end shion

in onikakushi-hen, keiichi basically says smth akin to “mion’s gonna be going off to college soon, which is gonna make ME the class rep. oh no. oh fuck.” i forget which arc establishes that shion and mion r ~14/15, but i know it’s not kizuna/matsuri, but i know if they’re supposedly going off to college very soon, it’d place them at around ~16/17, which i believe is established as such in matsuri. that’s more of an acceptable age range, especially considering where shion works (though since their uncle’s also a creep, i wouldn’t put it past him to hire them at 13 at a cafe like angel mort. but i don’t think shion would’ve taken the job at 13, regardless if they were desperate for work or not because of the sheer fact if akane and shion’s dad caught wind of them working there, he’d very likely be a dead man. i think he’d be a dead man regardless, but at 16/17, shion can hold their own better than they would at 13. doesn’t justify them working in a place like that, but like i said. regardless i think their uncle’s basically a dead man walking for hiring a kid in his cafe).

meakashi-hen’s first half/the year before higurashi’s timeline starts is a lot more...weird. since it’s established shion met satoshi around late may/early june, but the way shion catches their feelings, it’s very headfirst and fast. and they act like they knew him forever by the time he disappeared. however, i think the timeline for that time period would make a lot more sense if shion had ran away around december/january. with a solid 6-7 months to get to know satoshi and get closer to him, it’s easier to understand why they were hurt, since by the time he disappeared if we go by what the games tell us, they’d only be barely acquaintences by the time satoshi disappeared.

                     ‶  a  break … ?  ″  mion  was  certainly  a  nice  person ,  you  try  not  to  doubt  that  ( though many unwanted thoughts have been worming their way into your mind ) ,  but  did  this  not  seem  slightly  out  of  character  for  her ?  of  course ,  you  don’t  think  on  it  too  hard ,  there’s  no  reason  for  you  to  overthink  things  like  that .  no ,  there’s  something  else  that  has  caught  your  attention .

                     a  break  from  hinamizawa .  that  very  phrasing  makes  an  offer  you  might’ve  declined  to  one  you  may  consider .  you  fear  staying  away  for  too  long —  no ,  not  fear .  you  treasure  the  very  idea  of  being  able  to  get  out  of  this  place .  what  you  fear  is  not  leaving ,  but  the  guilt  that  accompanies  it .  after  all ,  without  you  around ,  who  would  protect  satoko ?  are  you  truly  such  a  horrid  brother  that  you  would  leave  your  little  sister  to  the  wrath  of  your  aunt ,  unable  to  protect  herself ?

                     ‶  muu …  well ,  that  does  sound  nice ,  but …  ″  your  heart  clenches ,  averting  your  gaze .  you  suppose  a  short  trip  wouldn’t  hurt .  you  could  entertain  this  idea ,  right ?  there’s  nothing  wrong  with  asking .  ‶  by  a  trip ,  how  long  do  you  mean ?  i …  can’t  be  away  for  too  long .  ″

          If St. Lucia taught you anything, it was how to read the little features in people’s faces. To note the ways their faces could crease - the way their lips would pull. It was hard to judge by voices there, you had to figure out a way to read people. However, perhaps that was your own innane talents. ( you and mion were similar enough to know how to play around others’ moods, after all. )

Desperately, you wanted to squeeze his hand - an assurance. It was okay to spoil yourself every now and then! Sometimes people get greedy - you know this very well. ( were you so greedy you’d force your own sister out of her day to day life to form your own bonds? ...well. in this case, yes. )

          “ Depends on the time of day we leave. If we leave before the crack of dawn, we could be back a few hours after lunch at the latest, “ Your voice hummed softly. “ But... We could always make it a rendezvous for the night. I think the petals would look so pretty in the moonlight! Bah - sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself! “ You found yourself smiling. There was always something romantic in the literature you had to read for school involving the moon. The beauty of it.

                       the  sound  of  your  friend’s  voice  causes  a  soft  smile  to  appear  on  your  face .  throughout  all  your  hardships ,  at  least  you  still  had  your  friends  to  relieve  some  of  that  stress .  while  you  may  feel  some  contempt  towards  the  sonozaki  family ,  you  knew  it  wasn’t  mion’s ( ? ) fault  directly .  just  as  you  did  not  choose  to  be  a  hojo ,  she  did  not  choose  to  be  a  sonozaki .

                     you  turn  towards  shion ,  curious .  ‶  of  course ,  what  is  it ,  mion ?  ″

          ( you’d be lying if you said you didn’t wish to rip out the hair tie - to show who you were. but... he technically wasn’t wrong in calling you mion. ) Your fingers were playing with the threads of the vest you were wearing, and you let out a soft hum. Mion never lied about him - that he puts others above himself. Maybe that’s why you found yourself liking him. He almost mirrored you - your own selfish desires fit almost perfectly with his own selflessness. Like the sun and the moon.