Daydreamer

Holy FUCK I’m old

what a beautiful wedding

said a bridesmaid to a waiter

yes but what a shame

the poor grooms bride is a llama

My goal in life? Me and my girlfriend are on holiday somewhere where they speak Spanish. We’re at a restaurant. The server comes up to us to ask us what we want to order. I speak to the waiter. My Spanish is flawless. My girlfriend looks at me in awe. We don’t end up eating dinner bc we go back to the hotel where she fucks me senseless. The end.

Wow, the people at duolingo are really getting more creative with their ads

WHERE THE FUCK WAS I WHEN THIS HAPPENED!?

It was one of the saddest TV moments of my childhood! Donnie’s parents were originally very similar to Nigel and Mirianne. They befriended an orangutan mother and her son and taught them a single sign in sign-language: family. One day, poachers attached the orangutans. Donnie’s parents intervened and were killed for doing so. The villagers nearby sent their bodies to sea. Out of love and gratitude, the mother orangutan briefly ‘adopted’ Donnie, who was only a toddler. A year later, they stumbled across Nigel as he and the Thornberrys were filming. The orangutan decided that Donnie needed a human family and put Donnie in Nigel’s path. The Thornberrys, of course, adopted him, having personally known and respected his parents as great naturalists. 

one day you wake up and they’re not the first thought on your mind and you can finally breathe again

I go to bed every single night wondering why having me wasn’t enough for you.