a blind date with destiny

Hi. I’m writing this from a movie scene I’m at right now.

I’m just sitting alone, finished my favourite drink halfway and it’s raining. Then my playlist just decided to make it more perfect and played Sungha Jung’s L’atelier. Everything’s so beautiful, it almost made me cry.

Working on a hectic ward, the very first thing I (unconsciously) do is to look for the emergency trolley.  If it's not in its place, then I know a patient was (or still being) resuscitated.

During one of my shift a few weeks ago, 2 patients was intubated- back to back. The whole time I was either running or fast-walking non-stop, it's like a work out! The first patient didn’t make it though. And the ambiance become gloomy since. After my short break, the ward was hectic again. The second patient needs resuscitation. And the staff nurse in-charge asked me to push the patient to the acute cubicle. I went to the patient and his wife was already crying.

While unlocking the bed's wheel, I felt a sudden cold wind. A creepy feeling swept through me. I glanced at the clock. It was half past seven.

"Hm, maghrib." I said as a matter of fact-ly. Or at least I pretend to.

My hands became a bit chilly as I push the bed almost halfway across the ward. After placing the bed in the right corner of the acute cubicle, (which was also the corner where the first patient was resuscitated few hours ago, fyi) orders from the doctors and fellow nurses started piling in.

Not the "teh ais satu; kurang manis, kurang ais, kurang harga!" kind of orders, but the "where's the emergency trolley?!" "gimme a 6.5 glove!" "apron!" "screen please!" sort of orders.

Which brings me back on my feet. And fortunately gets my mind off the creepy thoughts.

After my job was settled, before my shift ended, I went back to where second patient's bed used to be and asked his wife to wait at the waiting area, where it is more comfy. It was almost 9 o'clock so the lights were dim and most patients were in bed, getting ready to go to sleep. Then, as I was tidying things up a bit, I felt that cold wind again.

"Oh shoot, not again.", I said, secretly hoping I don’t have to walk back alone.

I (bravely) continue with my job, trying to clear my mind of the typical creepy scenes that took place in hospitals. You know, that typical elevator and long hallway scenes. And what I saw next really got me lost for words. When I turn around, I saw, the window, it was.. opened.

Which explains the cold wind. *deeeeeeep sigh*. I chuckled, laughing quietly at myself for being the chronic over thinker that always puts myself in a situation like this. Ahh, the eternal struggle. Before leaving, I closed the window and brushes off the creepy scenes from my mind.

At the start of the day, you pray for Him to ease your day and protect you from any mishaps. And yet, you still had a bad day with series of unfortunate events that left you feeling sad and demotivated.

What happened? Has He not been listening to our prayers? Are we being ignored? Did we not deserve a good day?

However, have you ever thought that what happened is what you asked for? I mean, what if it could have been worst? What if, your so-called ‘bad day’ is actually something He already make it easier for you. Which brings us back to the question, what if it could have been worst?

It may seem hard at first but you made it in one piece anyway, kan? You survived. And whatever the outcome or consequence may be, by any means, may lead you to something He has been planning for. Perhaps even better than what you wanted. With your best effort, of course.

This is what I keep saying to myself. To keep my faith in Him. And keep praying, keep hoping.