THIS IS MY MAIN BLOG!

The TV said “bang”…

and bro really said “this is my moment” 💀🦜

Oh, asker. In a way, me too. I’ve always liked them older. Used to be old men. Now it’s old sentient machinery lol.

Edward reminds me of a neighbour I knew. He was Iranian Jewish. He was a bit eccentric, was asexual, n ppl thought we were dating. We were close friends. I hung out with him nearly every day until I moved to another neighbourhood. He’d ring me n check in daily, we ate together, went to a casino together by the beaches. I’m not really a gambler, so I’d mostly enjoy the beach whilst he gambled. I had just become a home aide (I was one for 6 years, n quit due to health issues), and he had a heart attack. He survived, but also had ketoacidosis I think, from not taking his meds. He was diabetic. He went missing n didn’t check in for a few days, so I contacted his family. I had to go to file a police report. Police eventually found him dead in his office, slumped over a chair. He was 60. I think I was 30? Or was turning 30?

He was a kind n gentle soul. He was an adjunct professor. His brother n family told me they were glad I was in his life before he passed. He had come upon me in the tube one day. I had been switching trains because a nasty couple was making out in the one I’d been in. I was on the way to look at a room to rent. I had just lost the first place n was staying with besty. He came up to me, n it felt like he was flirting. I was a bit taken back. I told him “I’m sorry, but I think it’s best you go be with ur wife, gf, or ex” much to me surprise, he had never had anyone. He was a lifelong virgin. I said I don’t generally socialise with men who have or had a wife, gf, or ex. I also told him I hate pornography n I don’t associate with blokes who watch it. I find it incredibly immoral. He agreed n said he didn’t watch it. (And he didn’t!) I told him too that k didn’t like blokes who were on social media, n he said he wasn’t on it.

He thought I was Hindu. I thought he was Muslim. This went on for a few weeks. Eventually we both realised we were neither. He occasionally brought me to his colleges n I sat in with him. He took me to a movie premiere for an Iranian film. We went to parades in the city. We went to the beaches. He even brought me to his brother’s for Passover one year. It was a bit awkward, but they were kind, n I got to learn about it first hand. N they accepted me.

For me, the concept of romantic ‘love’ has always been something foreign. I never really could understand it, n secretly battled with a lack of attraction. However, platonic love (agape love, as some put it), i understand quite well.

I preferred virgin men, gay folk, n such because I thought I could trust them more. I still trust a lot of gay folks more - for purely non sexual reasons. N I never had any sexual interest in gay folks. I liked being friends with them BECAUSE I didn’t have to worry about them trying to be sexual with me. I felt I could have healthier platonic bonds with them. Ppl used to always equate virginity with youth n adolescence. That always creeped me out. They always thought u wanted an adolescent in disturbing ways if u mentioned virginity. It’s a shame society is like this. Honestly, I’d b happy for more lifelong virgin old men who never had romances. I don’t want to be involved in anyone’s drama, especially romantic drama. Folks who had previous partners trying to flirt with me especially make me cringe, although I’m not into anyone flirting with me at all. People with previous partners trying to or even thinking of touching me makes me sick to think of. I’ll hug a friend, but I want absolutely NOTHING to do sexually or romantic with other people, especially kids.