🥰

We had last met for coffee in December where he explicitly asked me if he could still text me and that he would tell me about his birthday (it was a few days away and he had plans with his friends)

I had sent him a casual pic of my dog who he had asked about when we met up to which he never responded

And then I randomly ran into him on Wednesday. He doesn’t even live in this part of LA

He made eye contact with me, turned his back to me, the girl he was with asked “what’s wrong” and he didn’t respond

He and the other guy with them (who I am pretty sure is his brother) snuck out the door when my back was turned

I don’t have glasses on or contacts in when I went inside so I gaslit myself into thinking it wasn’t him

But now I’m pretty sure it was (without getting into why)

I have cried all fucking day to the point where I wanted to throw up

People are really fucking strange and move so weird

Like why are you running from me I’ve done nothing to you

I am awake in the middle of the night again unable to go back to sleep

This year has been so fucking hard. One thing after another

I have cried myself to sleep every night for the past two weeks, except I can’t even stay asleep

I don’t know. If anyone actually reads this, please keep me in your thoughts