nell f(˙﹏˙;

I wish I could explore my creativity in other areas but everything I do and listen to eventually leads back to Three and it’s kinda been this way for years now in some aspects. I don’t think it’s as awful as it was since I’ve grown to manage it healthily and I love to share my ideas and eventually inspire others right now like some have already told me, but there is something aching about having other smaller interests and just not being able to indulge in it as deeply as I would like to.

The only way out is if canon material does some bullshit with Three at this point. I get really emotional over a lot of things towards her over the years and while Okay Cool I can live with it, it still sucks sometimes because it gets really lonely even if I know I’m not LOL. My experience is very very very different to a lot of people and while I may not do crazy analysis or speculation towards her publicly (those who do I am very thankful for) what I feel still feels a lot different than "I love my blorbo look at my blorbo post" deep down. I guess I’ve made my mark because I know that those who are interested in Three/ algebralien stuff would eventually stumble upon what I do, yet I don’t feel like I have done anything at the same time if that makes any sense.