Trapped

ever since our paths He caused to cross

suffocated by love

i found the pieces of my heart

never in sin would I transgress, but

accept I do, His decree on me for you

journey to Him we must

out of obedience to Him, your

heart I hoped to treasure

and the grace of your demeanour

never will I forget

nor for your guidance beseeching Him will I cease

another will be my lot, but the softness of your heart, she will have not

marriage is all I believe, with you it is all I intended

as a trust from Him, I would you have cherished

responsibility I would embrace, right I would fulfil

among the gardens of Paradise your gaze I hope to meet, indeed

it is there my eternal companion I longed for you to be. Verily your

smile I had yearned, for my children one day to have

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In the past it’s been out of longing, because of how much I’ve missed you. My heart would feel your absence and that was how my brain would choose to cope. It’s been a manifestation of my extreme emotional attachment to you.

But this time was different. I was terrified. I was scared, not of you but of facing you. Noticing your presence made me anxious. It was traumatic and it was abrupt as if this time I was unable to cope.

It’s like being in a prison cell, and you’re trying to free me by pulling me face first through the bars, harder and harder, closer and closer. I’ll never be free, and you’ll never be mine. All I’m left with is pain, arduous pain.

I’m sure there’s a smile on your face, and that he’s the reason.