No because I can’t keep up with my own head it’s been months bro… months, and the same day the shit happened that broke me happened way before the separation and it just keeps replaying keeps coming back up I keep feeling the rage of it all and I just want it to stop I want their heads on a fucking stake I want some much carnage gore and I want to be the one to enact it all why did i have to go through this to see that everything isn’t safe? That no matter how good you treat a person you never trust them with holding you ever? Why am i always forced into being vulnerable why am I the one who has to hurt this was never my fault none of this was ever my fault yet I take sole responsibility and accountability for everything every single decision I made because of i had not i would be in a cell or padded room maybe 6 ft under and without my soul but I always think back to “evil expects evil from other people” and I just go on this kind of word vomit/ dumping spree and it feels like every thing i worked so hard for was just a game to everyone and anyone they brought in on it it’s like i cut everyone off and still more mfs came to mess and play w me as if i wouldn’t peep anything and it’s foul it’s disgusting the injustice i have to face at the hands of a scorned player who just assumed i was like the rest of these mfs out here but every single time I showed someone im not who they heard about and i can write my checks and cash clear no hesi
It pisses me off i haven’t been reciprocated in anything and it feels so fucking defeating but I’m still moving off pure instincts it’s like before I even got into this situation and I was falling back into my spirituality and my path now I’m not sure what even happened for me to put my trust into any of this like my intuition was never shot I was having people who I expected decency, compassion, and honesty from give me games, envy, dishonesty, and jealousy
My higher self doesn’t ask me if I’m okay anymore she won’t even guide me like she used to now I just have to trust I’m still moving in her image I have to trust that she doesn’t have to do anything anymore maybe just nudge me and give me a nod of approval when I ask for validation
I just needed to post this as a declaration to myself to expose the entire operation that was to take my life my spot my love and my family
snowghoul
titsay
yousharknotpass
germansingergirl
discoholicmusic
gummygunk
turnnoffyourmind
kaledo-art
