hellostarsailor_gaslight.this

One of my friends killed himself. We hadn't seen each other since this Summer. He always seemed to be doing okay. He was older than me and usually you lose the desire to off yourself as you get older and realize that no matter what, life is better than the unknown, -so it was a shock to hear he had done it. We weren't close friends. We worked together for 5 years. Partied at each others' houses on Fourth of July. Traded video games and stuff but he wasn't on my shortlist for when I needed a ride or help doing something. Still, he introduced me to a lot of really good bands when I was young, dumb, and listening to terrible music. Isn't it funny how when we're 18 we think we have the greatest musical taste? I will always remember him and me closing up at work and going up to the roof to smoke a blunt and seeing all the lights of the city. The simple things.

I know you're bad for me and you have an expensive taste that I truly can't afford but... I need you right now. You make me feel like everything makes sense. You give me an escape and an excuse to do nothing but blow smoke and daydream. I love the buzz you give me in the morning and the complete feeling of calm after a long day at work. Reading with you in my hand is how I spend most of my afternoons. How could I just casually throw you away? In a few more years, you'll probably have given me wrinkles or taken away my beautiful voice but for now you are mine. I don't need you right now but I want you. But this won't last forever.

Alle guten Dinge sind drei, Darum liebe, trinke und singe dabei. "All good things come in threes: love, drink and song."