Submissive, Lover Of Food, Books, And Animals.

Good morning Anon. I appreciate your patience while you’ve been waiting for me to attend to your ask. It’s been a busy few days. 

Good Things To Ask A Prospective Caregiver

1. Ask them about their prior D/s relationships. While discussing past submissive care shouldn’t necessarily be a part of a dom’s day to day with their current submissive, it’s not a bad subject to discuss at the beginning, so you can get an idea of what kind of relationship you’re lining up for. Did their relationships last long? How many subs have they cared for? Are they still friends with any of them? Answers to these questions, and how open a dom is about talking about his past behavior within D/s dynamics, can tell you a lot about who you’re considering getting involved with off the bat. 

2. Ask them about their favorite kinks and toys. If you’re not a masochist, and you’re conversing with a hardcore sadist, you might want to think about what you’re headed for. If ABDL and pacifiers don’t resonate with him, and you’re just a little baby who can’t control herself, perhaps he isn’t someone to get involved with. You want to have a certain amount of kink in common, or be intrigued and excited to explore new kink together. 

3. Ask him his current relationship status. Whether you are willing to be a side girl or not, don’t assume because he’s talking to you that you’re the only apple of his eye. 

4. Ask him about what his day to day is like. If he’s working two jobs, and has a busy social life, you might ask yourself how much time he will be able to commit to your care, and how much attention you are likely to receive from him.

5. Ask him about a million little vanilla things. Where did he grow up? Does he have siblings? What kind of music does he listen to? Does he have any children? If you’re looking for a D/s relationship, and not just some D/s play, you need to get to know, and trust one another, not JUST exist in kink with each other.

Start there Anon. I’m sure I could probably come up with five more, but there are days of questions and large conversations within those five. Happy questioning. 

I feel safe

I feel cared for

I feel wanted

I feel privileged

I feel happy

I feel warm

I feel loved

I want to make you happy

I want to look after you

I want you to feel the way I do

When you look after me….

Sound, expression, twitch… yum

April 17, 2018

This morning when I woke up and checked on Pip, I discovered that she wasn’t feeling well, and thought she might be (getting) sick. I was up early because I was stopping by to wake her up and press all her fun buttons, before we had to make our way to work. I sighed with empathy at my phone. My girl has been having a rough time on various fronts lately, and sick is what I was sure she didn’t need on top of it all. Immediately, I altered my headspace from one of Dominant, to that of Caretaker. This morning was going to need to be about comfort and care for my sick little bean, and not playing with all the fun holes. You know what folks? - that was just fine. 

I know all the subs out there are all about being good little service girls. They want to have the holes available for their partner “anytime and anywhere”, as the kinky adage goes. I’m here to tell you that it’s 100% OK that you don’t, and you can’t. You take care of us plenty, and sometimes it’s time for you to just be, and let your partner take care of you. It doesn’t make you any less of a submissive. Let that toxic guilt go. 

I know there are Dominants out there who don’t give a fuck if their sub is sick, if they are sad, or just simply not in the headspace to be of service. They will go ahead and dig into what was given to them anyway, sighting the agreement of submission over the reality of present circumstances. Shame on you. If your sub can spread those legs, take those licks, and care for you as often as you want, why can you not make some small effort to care of he/she who takes care of you and your every need? 

I spent the morning laying in Pip’s bed, letting her drape herself over me in various positions as she slept fitfully. Before I left, I made sure she had some medicine in her, and water by her bedside. She didn’t need much from me, just a Daddy who understood that the order of the day was being next to her in bed, holding her for a couple of hours while she slept, and not one that was focused only on themselves, and their own desires. Thankfully Pip’s Daddy knows that it’s not always time to play.